You can count me out on this relationship nonsense.

[IgnoredOne]

People change. If you do not believe that it is possible for you to handle change, then it might be best for you to avoid relationships.

 

[hijodeganas]

Ironically, the more you accept the fact that you're going to have to deal with conflict at some point and prepare for it the less likely it is to actually happen.

I know this is a late bump, but I refuse to accept this train of thought. It's like saying I should keep myself intimidating so that nobody would dare try it. My mum and her partner's fights are increasing in both frequency and intensity. I've sat in for some downright insane arguments over miniscule things.

And its not just their relationship I'm drawing example from either. I'm talking about things like how that wonderful guy/girl suddenly does a Mr. Hyde change the very moment the relationship is secure. leaving you wondering if you did anything to change them, or if they were lying about who they were the whole time. Or those couples that you think are absolutely perfect for each other suddenly having the hugest fallouts, sometimes in public. The list is endless.

I have an option to not put myself through any of this. With my fragile carcass of what one could call mental fortitude, I'd be mad to pass on that option.

It's your choice to refuse to accept it, but why? Why not give it a try and experience it for yourself before deciding whether or not to believe it?

Why do you associate accepting part of reality with becoming intimidating? While there's no denying certain truths or facts about life, such as conflict, that doesn't mean your choices as to how to deal with them are limited. There's always a better choice; trying to constantly be intimidating isn't the only one.

Your endless list of conflicts is proving my point: conflicts are natural, everywhere and therefore unavoidable. You can either accept that or spend a lot of time trying to run away from it and invariably failing.

You have the option to try and avoid reality for as long as possible, sure. That's your choice. But the funny thing about reality is that it's everywhere, and it's constant. You can't run forever. But if that's your choice, good luck to you.

 

[Mazda13bRotary]

I once dated this girl who did anything she could to start a fight with me just so we could have makeup sex later that night. Women and relationships can be truly messed in the head sometimes.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Well, people are weird. Its not really limited to women; its a pity that we're all rather flawed creatures seeking our happiness at the end of the day.

 

[tangerinedream]

I once dated this girl who did anything she could to start a fight with me just so we could have makeup sex later that night. Women and relationships can be truly messed in the head sometimes.

Maybe the makeup sex was better than the regular sex.

 

[Equinox]

And its not just their relationship I'm drawing example from either. I'm talking about things like how that wonderful guy/girl suddenly does a Mr. Hyde change the very moment the relationship is secure. leaving you wondering if you did anything to change them, or if they were lying about who they were the whole time. Or those couples that you think are absolutely perfect for each other suddenly having the hugest fallouts, sometimes in public. The list is endless.

I have an option to not put myself through any of this. With my fragile carcass of what one could call mental fortitude, I'd be mad to pass on that option.

I gotta say, I agree with this statement. I've seen countless relationships fall to pieces, and it's rarely pretty. Sometimes it happens gradually, with increasing arguments and such, giving a hint of what's to come. Other times, one half of the couple will suddenly spring a breakup upon the other, who is then left stupefied, crushed and confused. It's utter and total madness, and I don't ever want to risk that happening to me. I don't care how great it might be during the good times, when what I'm most likely to end up with is pain and disappointment and additional lack of faith in humanity (before bouncing back, finding someone else and repeating the cycle with them).

I don't believe relationships are for everyone. Some of us are actually better off alone. That's my two pennies, anyway.

 

[Mazda13bRotary]

If you were hammering nails, you hit every one of them square on the head.

 

[Code S.O.L]

Your endless list of conflicts is proving my point: conflicts are natural, everywhere and therefore unavoidable. You can either accept that or spend a lot of time trying to run away from it and invariably failing.

You almost make it sound as though reality will chase me down so I can experience the fight. That in itself is a terrifying thought, but anyways.......

Couldn't agree more with Equinox over here. Another thing that bothers me is the lengths people will go to bait an argument. I sat in for another one between my mother and her partner tonight. We had Tuna Mornay for tea tonight. And my mother's partner made the mistake of cooking it without pasta. My mother made a deal about it, but not with words. She served herself a tiny helping, barely a spoonful knowing that he'd be set off(and he's set of quite easily where he was once infallible). He erupted into hysterics, and thus the night's entertainment was set.

 

[blackhole]

certain people bait others into arguments, often not because they have a problem with the issue being discussed, but actually because they use their partners' reactions to justify some unethical choices or improper feelings they are experiencing.

it's AMAZING the lengths to which some people will go in order to feel morally justified and righteous about their choices.