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I love it when people say, "I wonder what the future will bring". California is, what, 19 hours behind Fiji? Just give them a call, you dumbf***s.

Well, there you go, you just proved my point, it's just a bit unusual. I mean, when is Montreal ever cold this time of year and Bangkok blazing hot? What are you going to tell me next, that that 'evolution' thing is true? Do you look like an ape when you look in the mirror?

Global warming my ass. I'm just looking at some temperatures now ... Montreal -18 °C, Frankfurt 4 °C, Bangkok 26 °C. People need to learn the definition of the word 'global'.

All right, dudeers and dudes, let's rock this joint ... Really? You'd try that hard to get to a guy who writes 'Please call' next to his number? Man, talk about being needy ... Oh, you should definitely learn how to swim. I mean, imagine the following scenario ... You're walking along a...

Geez, what the hell were they thinking trying to hit the kids with those rocks? What if they'd hit the driver and the car tumbled and rolled over? There would have been broken limbs and stuff.  If I didn't know better I'd think this was art. Btw, did you really make an account just for me...

Dude. You're ****ing up a perfectly miserable Christmas.

Male-female friendship ... What a laugh. When have you ever heard of a girl not liking a guy or vice versa?

In the true spirit of bipartisanship: Merry holidays.

Thanks, milady. And what true words you speak ... I say, when you're set on a goal, give it your all. And if you've correctly predicted it would be a complete waste of time, well hey, you've only got one life to live.

Yeah, but think of all the useful things you could be doing instead of talking to me. Like bird watching or ... tying two rubber bands into a ball or ... I don't know, looking through a dictionary for some new exciting words. For example, here are a few words I recently learned: ambiguity...

Yeah, but in good news, starting today, days are getting longer again in the Northern Hemisphere. I can already feel the difference.

Greetings, m's & m's, let's see, what do we have here ... Sarah - K, let's hear it, how many tries? And don't lie to me or I'll get really angry. Tap dancing. They say it's a dying art ... Yeah, how about we let this one die. And why do they call those 'jazz hands' anyway? It's not like they...

So, I have a question for all you smart folks: What is it about being on a boat that makes people want to wave to each other? Like when two tour boats go past each other on a river and the tourists start waving to each other? And what about those weekend schmucks in Vegas who put everything on...

So, I have a question for all you smart folks: What is it about being on a boat that makes people want to wave to each other? Like when two tour boats go past each other on a river and the tourists start waving to each other? And what about those weekend schmucks in Vegas who put everything on...