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I'm gonna die alone.

I'm gonna die alone. This is how it's supposed to be. I'm just never going to know what it's like to be in a relationship. I'm never gonna be anything more than the guy to be friendly with but nothing else. It's so hopeless, I have no idea how to get out of this. I'm so sick of seeing couples...

Today I learned that I'm still a coward. Or at least I still blank out at the very worst times. Had a chance and I blew it. If I fail tomorrow, then I might as well give up. *sigh*

Well, owner was long gone so he didn't visit today. Good cause I was on dining room today lol. Lost my not critical scholarship, but it gave a nice chunk of money that would have been very helpful. Not surprised though, I failed a class last semester so, yeah. Sent my mood plummeting though....I...

Owner might be coming in tomorrow. Jesus Christ why do I have to be working the day the owner might probably will come in. WHY? fresia.

Staying up late again, with plenty of time left to go still. Watching sportscenter, or whatever I end up finding on tv, eating cheddar cheese combos, at 1:44 a.m.

Staying up late again. Haven't been sleeping well since friday. Been thinking a lot lately, about a lot of things. More than usual, that is.

Working, I actually just have a 4 hour shift tomorrow and then I have a day off. Then 5 more days...... Our weeks go wed. to wed. so I'm almost done with this week. In my free time I've become extremely bored with life, so I'm just spending it lonely and bored. And music, videogames, junk food...

Tonight feels particularly numb, empty, and alone for me. I think I'll play a videogame until I'm dead tired. What a crappy day, just like all my free days. Wasted a ton of gas driving around aimlessly, just cause it was too nice out to play videogames till sundown. I did get a shake from steak...

Three Days Grace- The Good Life

Eh, I didn't go, had no date and the only prospect had long slipped away. I was still an emotional wreck anyway. Heh, at least she didn't go with whoever her boyfriend had been. Still don't know if it had ended by then, definitely don't care. I'm a metalhead too and was just not in the mood to...

Well, that was just as unenjoyable as I remember it, I could definitely go with another break, even longer for sure. And she was at the meeting, but there wasn't gonna be any talking, If I hadn't been working I probably would have at least been able to do some conversing before she left but I...

Listening to a lot of not metal recently. But uh I listened to lamb of god's 11th hour on the way to work today and I just can't get over how much I love that song, by far my favorite from them. Just amazing, which isn't how I typically describe the band lol. some of the best metalcore, but...

One more day until I get two days off. Then 6 straight days of work, but at least the last is 2-6, yay I don't work a night. I called my friend of 10+ years back today, a week and a day after he called. He deserved to sweat significantly more, since, well, the last message I left him was that...

Gave a girl from work a ride home. That was cool, I almost felt normal for a bit. I was supposed to get off at 8, but of course I stayed till close, busting my ass doing a whole bunch of stupid things. I guess they want every inch of the entire store cleaned every single night. I understand...

Yep It'll be that way when I go to bed tonight, alone. And tomorrow, and the next day, and the next...... well, at least I have my music. and the status of loner and a job

I have neither. Never had a facebook. Deleted my myspace back on Halloween after I was.......... uh, a girl I loved made circumstances that forced me to delete it to both help make a point(essentially punctuate my goodbye) and to assure I would cut her out of my life for good. She was really the...

Ok, I exaggerated. It was basically like any other day lol. That's what I get for listening to people like that lol. Anyway....she came by today, while I was on break. I was hoping we might have a chance to talk but she took her food uh across the street so she probably was busy. I'm trying to...

Well, my day for tomorrow has officially been ruined as of early from tonight's shift. My GM is closing tomorrow, and she is......well, you know, tough. So it'd be a lot of work to begin with. But the real issue is that our new district manager is visiting tomorrow night and apparently all the...

Holy fresia I'm working a double shift tomorrow. Covering for this girl who is so freaking nice to me it straddles the line between her liking me or just being really, really friendly. Which really sucks cause I spent like the whole shift tonight thinking about her and whether or not she does and...