Borderline Personality Disorder

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eris

Guest
Borderline personality disorder is a condition in which a person has impulsive actions, an unstable mood and the inability to maintain relationships. It's mostly girls (like me) that get it. Relationships with others are intense and unstable. They swing wildly from love to hate and back again.There are a lot of other symptoms, like cutting, hypersexuality, risky behavior, and serious identity and self concept issues. When I was a teenager I would hitch-hike just to see where the adventure would take me. I'm into fetishes and I've been in orgies. I've had gender identity issues. I drank, smoked pot and did acid. A few times I smoked cocaine. I would burn myself with cigarettes. I've calmed down with age but I still have explosive mood swings.

My entire life I've made and lost friends, simply because I have a hard time controlling my emotions. I tell someone to leave me alone forever, and then they do. Or I get dissapointed or disgusted in someone and just stop talking to them. Sometimes I don't know how my husband puts up with me, when real feelings of hatred randomly go through my blood. And then I feel really guilty about everything, and I get so embarassed I dont talk to those people anymore. There have been times that Ive had friends or even best friends where I loved the person very much, but I always end up somehow ending the relationship.

I really am nice though. I don't have any bad intentions. I'm really loyal and I've never been two faced or manipulative.

does anyone here have experiences with BPD ?

does anyone have issues with any mental illness ?

would you give up on someone who seems like they want you to go away ?
 
I had a friend not so long ago who I am pretty sure suffered from this. She was very nice, very sweet, and VERY funny. But ... she'd had a terrible life, and would often get very intense, very emotionally demanding, and would seem to get angry at what I thought would be very innocuous things. I said to her that I would be willing to support her...but I failed, unfortunately. Everything I said just seemed to upset her, and in the end I could see no other option than to break contact with her.

I still feel bad about it. I feel I let her down big time. In my defense, I would not say I was callous ... it was just impossible to see what the right thing to do was in that situation, and because she seemed to get so upset with me all the time, I felt it best to not be a part of her life.

Did I do the right thing? I just don't know. Thanfully, I've heard on the grapevine that she's going through a good patch at the moment, so hopefully I didn't upset her too badly.
 
i have depression and a borderline personality. it aint fun i tell you. One day i may think you are a God and idolise you the next day i can be really cold. all my relationships with people have been unstable and failed and i have to be honest and say i did play a major part in their failure. i chronically feel empty and i crave to physically self inflict pain on myself, when i was a teenager up to my early 20's i would regularly cut or burn myself, but i realised i had a problem and stopped, however the desire to do it never goes away, i crave it intensely. i have had recurrent job losses because of my borderline personality, one day i like my job next i hate it and cant be bothered to go in, coupled with the depression i would rather stay in bed with the covers over my head. i am also very implusive also and get myself into reckless situations such as drug and drink binges or going out on my own all night and not giving one thought to the dangers. i have no clear sense of identity, goals or ambitions and i exist in this confused state every day and i just dont know what to do about it. i have read every self help book available, the psychiatrists wont come near me with a barge pole because the prognosis is so poor with bpd. i just dont know what to do anymore.
 
Stella, there must be someone you can talk to, surely? My former friend did at least have a counsellor. I notice you're in the UK - if you haven't done it before, how about going to your GP, and making it very, very clear just how deep your problems run?

No-one wants to see a young girl like yourself hurt herself so badly. I'm sure there must be some help for you somewhere.
 
Electric_Fusilier said:
Stella, there must be someone you can talk to, surely? My former friend did at least have a counsellor. I notice you're in the UK - if you haven't done it before, how about going to your GP, and making it very, very clear just how deep your problems run?

No-one wants to see a young girl like yourself hurt herself so badly. I'm sure there must be some help for you somewhere.
Click to expand...

been there t the gp thousands of times. sent me to numerous counsellors none of them have helped. im on antidepressants they take the edge off things but the problems never go. been to cognitive therapy, didn't work. psychiatrists have said my problems are not severe enough to warrant any further investigation. so i just go from day to day and try and get through it the best i can.
 
BPD is practically impossible to treat because its not a chemical imbalance...its just the way we are wired.

I noticed you said you have no goals.... I also feel this way, and I only went to college to please my parents. I really don't want to accomplish anything

Ive been to therapy, but its just like .... I know what my problems are, and I dont think talking about them would help. I can't just convince myself to act in a certain way or try harder, because there is no incentive to change.

I currently take an antidepressant, an antipsychotic, a mood stabillizer and another pill that is supposed to boost the affects of the other ones. It keeps me from screaming wildly through the streets, but I still am very emotional and I still see things as black or white.
 
eris said:
BPD is practically impossible to treat because its not a chemical imbalance...its just the way we are wired.

I noticed you said you have no goals.... I also feel this way, and I only went to college to please my parents. I really don't want to accomplish anything

Ive been to therapy, but its just like .... I know what my problems are, and I dont think talking about them would help. I can't just convince myself to act in a certain way or try harder, because there is no incentive to change.

I currently take an antidepressant, an antipsychotic, a mood stabillizer and another pill that is supposed to boost the affects of the other ones. It keeps me from screaming wildly through the streets, but I still am very emotional and I still see things as black or white.
Click to expand...

that is why the doctors wont touch me with a barge pole regarding my bpd, it is a personality defect rather than an illness. I have been put on antidepressants to help with the depression but is does nothing to help the awful symptoms of bpd. do you have the awful chronic feeling of emptiness that goes with bpd?
 
stella said:
eris said:
BPD is practically impossible to treat because its not a chemical imbalance...its just the way we are wired.

I noticed you said you have no goals.... I also feel this way, and I only went to college to please my parents. I really don't want to accomplish anything

Ive been to therapy, but its just like .... I know what my problems are, and I dont think talking about them would help. I can't just convince myself to act in a certain way or try harder, because there is no incentive to change.



I currently take an antidepressant, an antipsychotic, a mood stabillizer and another pill that is supposed to boost the affects of the other ones. It keeps me from screaming wildly through the streets, but I still am very emotional and I still see things as black or white.
Click to expand...

that is why the doctors wont touch me with a barge pole regarding my bpd, it is a personality defect rather than an illness. I have been put on antidepressants to help with the depression but is does nothing to help the awful symptoms of bpd. do you have the awful chronic feeling of emptiness that goes with bpd?
Click to expand...

You have to be cunning when dealing with the doctors they distiguish between anxiety depression and BPD PTSD and there are different treatments for each which is ridiculous for the patient because all those things go together and are related

You are only wanting the services of a doctor for 2 reasons

1 psychologist appointments and 2 antidepressant and benzoediazepine prescriptions

If your doctor refuses to give you xanax or treat you with anything other than ssri's try a new doctor xanax and benzodiaepines are most prescribed to people with PTSD and anxiety not long term depression in my opinion the medical classifications are ridiculous but what can you do
just lie to the doctor and never tell them you have used illegal drugs before even pot otherwise your chances for getting a xanax prescription is slim

Be honest with the doctors and if you can shed a tear or 2 in front of them it should help your main hope from doctors is only a xanax prescription which you should be able to stay on for a while then they will swap you around on others eventually weaning you off with valium if they do there is no danger with xanax and it is an effective medication for anxiety it helps people create new happy memorys which is something everyone with anxiety should be allowed to do

Good luck
 
stella said:
do you have the awful chronic feeling of emptiness that goes with bpd?
Click to expand...

I feel that my life is empty..and it really is. I tend to isolate myself a lot.
 
eris said:
Borderline personality disorder is a condition in which a person has impulsive actions, an unstable mood and the inability to maintain relationships. It's mostly girls (like me) that get it. Relationships with others are intense and unstable. They swing wildly from love to hate and back again.There are a lot of other symptoms, like cutting, hypersexuality, risky behavior, and serious identity and self concept issues. When I was a teenager I would hitch-hike just to see where the adventure would take me. I'm into fetishes and I've been in orgies. I've had gender identity issues. I drank, smoked pot and did acid. A few times I smoked cocaine. I would burn myself with cigarettes. I've calmed down with age but I still have explosive mood swings.

My entire life I've made and lost friends, simply because I have a hard time controlling my emotions. I tell someone to leave me alone forever, and then they do. Or I get dissapointed or disgusted in someone and just stop talking to them. Sometimes I don't know how my husband puts up with me, when real feelings of hatred randomly go through my blood. And then I feel really guilty about everything, and I get so embarassed I dont talk to those people anymore. There have been times that Ive had friends or even best friends where I loved the person very much, but I always end up somehow ending the relationship.

I really am nice though. I don't have any bad intentions. I'm really loyal and I've never been two faced or manipulative.

does anyone here have experiences with BPD ?

does anyone have issues with any mental illness ?

would you give up on someone who seems like they want you to go away ?
Click to expand...
 
so you modified your post ?

what did you say ?

I really don;t care if youre rude to me. There is nothing you could say to bother me.
 
eris said:
so you modified your post ?

what did you say ?

I really don;t care if youre rude to me. There is nothing you could say to bother me.
Click to expand...

it wasnt really that special i just changed my mind on what i wanted to say so you can calm down is there a law against that or something ?
 
No need to be rude. Eris was just asking what you said. It is kind of odd to see a blank quoted post.
 
I don't belive anyone has personalities disorders.
Everyone has different personalities, behaviors, triats.
Some triats, habits or behaviors might be unhealthy or have results that's not productive.

To said that its a disorder is fucken retarded. That some Bullshit experts made up so they can
tell you that there's some wrong with ya so they can make money off of ya.
Such as loading you with fucken mAGICAL happy pills...Its a milty billion dallar industry.

Maybe you might not act, think or behave as others wish you to behave....it dosn't necessary mean that
you have a disorder or there's something wrong with you just becuase you don't conform to whatever the fresia
people or society wants you to confrom to.

Stop beliving in bullshit or lies that there's some wrong with ya...
It's like your under hynotic bullshit or delusional.
Wake up.....or rather become more aware or concious.

There's pay off for being fucken sick...
You get fucken attention or other people will try to take care of you.
Honestly check your motives.

Be well
 
I dont think disorders are "made up" or that people have them for "attention". You make people with Mental Illnesses sound like hypocondriacs, geez. :/
 
Lonesome Crow - That is the most rediculous thing I ever heard.

So you don't believe in mental illness ? Tell that to my friend Carmalita who talks to herself all day and has visions of monsters.

And as for calling it a "disorder"...It is. There are compulsions and EXACT symptoms. In fact, you need to meet 9 different criteria to be diagnosed with BPD

What do you mean by "check my motives" I dont have any ******* motives ! You mean my motives are to become a social outcast ? No one would want that.

There are NO "payoffs" for being mentally ill

And if its REALLY not real, How can Stella and I, a person I never even talked to, have the SAME SYMPTOMS

Its not about gaining attention, in fact all of the people that I was talking to on this board suddenly stopped talking to me after I made this thread.

I dont know why I even bothered with this. One person is rude, another person calls me delusional.
I share a deep secret about being metally ill and everyone stops talking to me... I think I'd do better on hate forum.
 
Lonesome Crow said:
I don't belive anyone has personalities disorders.
Everyone has different personalities, behaviors, triats.
Some triats, habits or behaviors might be unhealthy or have results that's not productive.

To said that its a disorder is fucken retarded. That some Bullshit experts made up so they can
tell you that there's some wrong with ya so they can make money off of ya.
Such as loading you with fucken mAGICAL happy pills...Its a milty billion dallar industry.

Maybe you might not act, think or behave as others wish you to behave....it dosn't necessary mean that
you have a disorder or there's something wrong with you just becuase you don't conform to whatever the fresia
people or society wants you to confrom to.

Stop beliving in bullshit or lies that there's some wrong with ya...
It's like your under hynotic bullshit or delusional.
Wake up.....or rather become more aware or concious.

There's pay off for being fucken sick...
You get fucken attention or other people will try to take care of you.
Honestly check your motives.

Be well
Click to expand...



You know LC, there may well be some psychiatrists out there in cahoots with Big Pharma to make a buck off of people who are seeking to ease some of their psychic pain. For example, doctors who are quick just to whip out the Rx pad and write out a scrip for some new antidepressant rather than actually engage the patient in some form of talk-based therapy. But to make a sweeping statement saying that there are no personality disorders is ignorant and flat-out wrong and a slap in the face to those of us out there who do struggle daily with a mental illness.

Furthermore, before spouting off in ignorance, why don't you read a bit about what Borderline Personality Disorder really is. It is not merely a collection of undesirable personality traits or a convenient made-up "disorder" designed to be a catch-all for moody or unpleasant people. It is a legitimate disorder recognized by psychiatrists. Not only that, some neurologists think that there is an neurological cause in some cases.

Lastly, to tell someone that they are feigning illness just for the attention is pretty insulting.



eris said:
I share a deep secret about being metally ill and everyone stops talking to me... I think I'd do better on hate forum.
Click to expand...

Unfortunately, mental illness is still viewed as a stigma or personality defect by many people. It is brave of you to share your story.
 
I know for a fact that mental illness is not "made up" in any way. My uncle is schizophrenic, and I take care of him. He doesn't do things for attention. Although some people might do it for attention, not all do. People do a lot of things for attention, not just "pretend" to have mental illness. It's not something I would pretend to have anyhow.
 
I agree that SOME people might do it for attention, but wouldn't that make them mentally ill in some other way ? Also, If someone were to be delusional, wouldn't that be a mental illness, too ?

If anyone cares, I thought I would give some facts. There are 10 personality disorders recognized globally. These are the different types.

Borderline Personality Disorder - It is called borderline because it is thought to be on the borderline of psychosis. Relationships with others are intense and unstable. They swing wildly from love to hate and back again. This differs from Bipolar because it is not a chemical imbalance, and in the sense that everything is a crisis, and the crisis is usually over in a few hours. People with BPD will frantically try to avoid real or imagined abandonment. BPD patients may also be uncertain about their identity or self-image. They tend to see things in terms of extremes, either all good or all bad.
Other symptoms include:
•Feelings of emptiness and boredom, and a total lack of long-term goals
•Frequent displays of inappropriate anger or crying
•Impulsiveness with money, substance abuse, sexual relationships, binge eating, or shoplifting
•Intolerance of being alone
•Recurrent acts of crisis such as wrist cutting, overdosing, or self-injury


Narcissistic Personality Disorder -An individual with this disorder is in love with himself/herself, and has little positive regard for others other than in a superficial manner. They believe they are special and deserve special treatment, regardless of the problems this creates for others. They readily take advantage of others, and tend to be quite arrogant.

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder - This is not the same as OCD.This individual is a perfectionist, and obsesses about details to the point of following rules for the sake of the rules. They are extremely inflexible. Their quest for perfection usually slows progress toward goals because they tend to re-do things forever, without ever completing anything. They are extremely rigid in terms of morals and values, to a degree not expected by their religious background.They often have difficulty making decisions, because of fear of making a mistake.

Paranoid Personality Disorder - People with paranoid personality disorder are highly suspicious of other people. They are usually unable to acknowledge their own negative feelings towards other people.
Other common symptoms include:
•Concern that other people have hidden motives
•Expectation that they will be exploited by others
•Inability to work together with others
•Social isolation
•Hostility

Schizoid Personality Disorder - Schizoid personality disorder is a psychiatric condition in which a person has a lifelong pattern of indifference to others and social isolation
A person with schizoid personality disorder:
•Appears aloof and detached
•Avoids social activities that involve significant contact with other people
•Does not want or enjoy close relationships, even with family members

Schizotypal Personality Disorder - People with schizotypal personality disorder may be severely disturbed. Their odd behavior may resemble that of people with schizophrenia. For example, they may also have unusual preoccupations and fears, such as fears of being monitored by government agencies. More commonly, however, people with schizotypal personality disorder behave oddly and have unusual beliefs (aliens, witchcraft, etc.). They cling to these beliefs so strongly that it isolates them from normal relationships

Antisocial Personality Disorder This is the dangerous one. Although many people are able to control themselves, this person could kill someone with no guilt. A person with this disorder may be called a "sociopath". Antisocial personality disorder is a psychiatric condition in which a person manipulates, exploits, or violates the rights of others. This behavior is often criminal.

Histrionic Personality Disorder - Histrionic personality disorder is a condition in which a person acts very emotional and dramatic in order to get attention.Symptoms include:
•Being easily influenced by other people
•Being overly dramatic and emotional
•Being overly sensitive to criticism or disapproval
•Believing that relationships are more intimate than they actually are
•Needing to be the center of attention

Avoidant Personality Disorder - Avoidant personality disorder is a psychiatric condition in which a person has a lifelong pattern of feeling extremely shy, inadequate, and sensitive to rejection. People with avoidant personality disorder are preoccupied with their own shortcomings. They form relationships with others only if they believe they will not be rejected. Loss and rejection are so painful that these people will choose to be lonely rather than risk trying to connect with others.

Dependent Personality Disorder - Dependent personality disorder is condition in which people depend too much on others to meet their emotional and physical needs. People with this disorder do not trust their own ability to make decisions. They may be devastated by separation and loss. They may go to great lengths, even suffering abuse, to stay in a relationship.
 
aliens are real! trust me:) they are out there:):D

don't listen to the goddamn doctors:) fresia them. (how smart can they be if the aliens have chosen not to talk to them? hmm?

one thing i find really peaceful, tranquil, clear and amazing is gardening and nature. especially when my goddamn annoying neighbors aren't around. and other crap interuptions.

cheerio:):D
 

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