Hearing problems and Shyness

I'm really struggling to get on with people on my Uni course, but it's not just due to my own half-hearted introversion.

I was always shy back in secondary school, always have been a shy person, but when I actually do talk I can get on well with almost anyone.

Unfortunately one and a half years ago I went to bed one evening perfectly fine and woke up missing 50% of the hearing in my left ear. I also have constant tinnitus in that ear.

The docs couldn't tell me what was wrong, only that a scan of my head came up fine. They said it could suddenly get better again and "most cases do", but so far I've had no improvement.

Fast forward from that, and nowadays I basically can't interact socially in any kind of crowded environment without becoming really embarrassed at mishearing things constantly. It's even a struggle when working with people.

People I know assume I'm just dopey or not concentrating (even once I've explained my problem to them - they forget). People I don't know just get the impression I'm mocking them or something.

I feel like no one my age (20) actually understands my problem. It seems to be associated with idiots who listen to really loud music all the time, or old people.

I get really down sometimes, because I can't even make friends now. I can't imagine ever really having a romantic partner like this either - if they try to whisper to me I can't hear and anywhere I can meet people is inevitably crowded to hell.

For some reason people think it's all kind of a big laugh - you'll tell them about it and they'll be like "Eh? I can't hear! Heheheh." Really pisses me off.

*Sigh*

I guess I'm venting, it feels like there isn't much else to do. I want to be the guy who does fun, exciting stuff with other people, but even trying to hold a conversation now is just horrendous sometimes.

Anyone else got a similar problem? Or if not, any ideas on how I can try to live a little?

I'm thinking of going to nightclubs more - no one in those places can hear properly anyway

Maybe you should go out and learn sign language! I mean it, it's fun, and you'll be immersed in a completely different culture if you meet a number of deaf people. My boyfriend started taking ASL as a foreign language in college ( which is strange, because there really isn't anything foreign about it.) and we found out that there are meetings at the local malls where the deaf, hearing impaired, or willing to learn students could join other people to practice and learn sign language. He had to go a certain number of hours to get credit for the class, but we ended up going every week. We met many different people, and even made a friend that we continue to see. After he didn't need to go for the classes anymore, we stopped going, and our signing has gotten much worse... Now we aren't able to go at all, and we really miss the learning environment that we found, and we're disappointed in ourselves for falling out of practice. It really becomes something that you want to use and learn, or even teach everyone around you! When I'm eating, and someone asks me a question while I have food in my mouth, I have to resist signing, because they wouldn't understand! XD Maybe you should at least look into it, and give it a shot, because it's a great way to make new friends and learn new things. The most important thing to learn is the alphabet, and from there, you can learn ANYTHING! The website ASLpro.com is a great learning tool as well. I wish you luck, hope this works!

I've had a hearing problem since I was about 4 years old (I'm 48 now). I actually went deaf. The doctor removed my tonsils and I got some of my hearing back. I can hear 75% in my left ear and 50% in my right ear. I try to sit so my left ear is towards people. In large groups, that's more difficult, but I manage.

I have a friend that is completely deaf. She wears a hearing aid and she reads lips. Hard to talk to her if either of us is driving. LOL!!!

In my opinion, this is more difficult for you because it's new to you. I still get "Eh, I can't hear you" all the time with new people. You learn to laugh it off.

Deafness is no different than any other handicap, in my opinion. If people aren't polite about your handicap, they can kiss off, in my opinion.

The one thing I noticed about another gal I met that was deaf that annoyed the crap out of me, she assumed what you were saying constantly. I'd have to repeat myself 3 times while looking at her, using hand signals and nearly screaming to get her to understand what I was saying - all this while she was wearing a hearing aid. It was the assumption that bothered me. Rather than saying "I didn't hear you", she'd would say back to you WHAT she thought she heard.

I say "I didn't hear you" all the time. If people get annoyed with me, that's their problem. And if people aren't willing to repeat themselves, then I just don't hang out with them.

Crowded/noisy places can completely overwhelm me. I just make sure I'm not in that environment for too long and take the next day off to calm my senses.

Check out some natural remedies for the ringing in your ears. I only get that on rare occasion and it does drive me nuts and makes hearing that much more difficult.

i have suffered the ringing in the ears for about 20 odd years now, you are at a young age so a lot of the people who are around you have a lot of growing up to do, i had the same shyness, but this might not be much help at present but rest assured as you get older you will come to terms with it, honest trust me i know. and don't forget anyone taking the p**s out of you why would you want thhese as friends any way. keep looking and you will find true friends.

paul.