Please help me get through the next 12 days

I need help. I am in love with a woman who is engaged to someone else and is dating another person (well sort of fooling around). To make matters worse I have to keep seeing her for the next 12 days and keep on being friendly (I thought we were friends but really we are just friendly acquaintances) while seeing her be happy around this other guy.
When they sit there in a corner, cracking their own personal jokes being all in love (as if it is their dirty little secret, but I just found out the whole office knows it anyways-- I was just too blind to notice it),
every single such moment kills me inside. Makes me want to puke. But when I try, I feel like my guts are coming out.
I probably had crush on her since day 1 at the office, about 17 months ago, but I realised I was actually in love with her when she decided to quit, after getting engaged.
I was heartbroken but I always knew I never had a shot with her. And then she got engaged and that was that. So I just wanted spend the little time we had left together as good friends. Then she decided not to quit, and that made me even more happy. That I will get 3 more months with her.
But these three months have been extremely tough on me. I have slowly seen them get together (an office told me they were together much before that and it has just become more obvious now-- how blind could I be!!!). And to make things worse, she is such a nice person that you can't even hate her. She is lovely, she is beautiful and has a wonderful personality. No, nobody can hate her.
Yes I am obese, and loud, and obnoxious sometimes. But I am not that bad of a person. I don't think I deserve it. My life has been a big pile of turd since the last 2-3 years.
And I am willing to change that. It will take time but yes I will turn myself around a little.
But what do I do in the next 12 days? We work in the same office. Its a small office, I cannot avoid them. I just came back from a long vacation. I cant take a leave. What do I do? Help me!

Man, trust me, it could always be so much worse.
I'll tell you what I've been through a few months ago.
Me and my g/f of a year broke up permanently in August of last year, due to argueing and me basically being a dick thinking all I wanted was my friends and nothing else. I effectively took her for granted and in turn treated her with less respect than i should've. Anyway, we didn't talk at all after that, but then 2 weeks later, I hear she was going out with my best-friend at the time. Two of the closest people to me stabbed me in the back that day. I was in total despair to the point of suicidal thoughts. I had to see them i school everyday together as if nothing had ever happened, even though the world around me felt as if it was crumbling to nothing.

But through willpower, taking up new hobby's (weightlifting) and with help from friends, I made it to the end of all the deppression. It's now been 9 months since then and I never speak to her but I can look back on our times together and smile instead of crying.

End of the day man, it comes down to willpower and integrity, you just gotta power your way through the negative emotions, whatever you do though, good luck

Thank you Interpol. What you went through was horrible and you have indeed done well. I guess I do not have much of an option either. I will have to man up and take it as it comes. There isn't much else I can do anyways. To the hopefully last bad 12 days in my near future. If anyone else has an easier solution please do let me know. I would prefer not to test the strength of my will.

It's cool man, anything to help a brother out.
Just stay strong and you should pull through.
I'll let you know if I think of any solutions but I'm not so good with this kinda stuff myself

So, she's engaged... And then dating someone else? Wow, you're better off walking away from that tangled web. If she does it to them, she'll do it to you - if you were to ever be with her - and it's certainly not worth it, especially when you know how she is.

VanillaCreme said:

So, she's engaged... And then dating someone else? Wow, you're better off walking away from that tangled web. If she does it to them, she'll do it to you - if you were to ever be with her - and it's certainly not worth it, especially when you know how she is.

Click to expand...

Yes VanillaCreme, your point makes perfect logical sense. And once all this is over (the facts I shared became apparent to me just yesterday, because in my stupid blind adoration of her I was simply too unwilling to accept such a possibility) it will be exactly what I tell myself.

But the fact does not make it any easier, right now at least. I have decided to try and refocus my energies on other things. But having to go to the office in a few hours doesn't help me one bit.

Thank you for your response though. I appreciate it very much, and I hope the logical side of me retakes control of my unwanted renegade emotions soon enough.

Infatuation != Love. You barely know this person and you think you are in love?

Yes I am obese, and loud, and obnoxious sometimes. But I am not that bad of a person. I don't think I deserve it.

Click to expand...

These things have nothing to do with whether or not you are a bad person.

To survive the next few days you need to check your emotions. What you are feeling is not love, it is something else. Try to find where these feelings are coming from and work on that. Most likely, they have nothing to do with this girl. She is just the outlet that you choose to project these feelings onto. There is something bigger going on.

Hmmm sounds kind of like an experience I had with a female in the office. When she started she was dating however she broke up with the guy. Then she was dating around. At the time I was with a female who I found far more attractive. This female in my office was pretty hot. She was asked to do playboy. Hell she might have even had a crush on me. I do not know, during an office party we were drinking and she was trying to take me back to her place. ^_^; I was pretty drunk. Anyway a few weeks later she was engaged to a firmer ex.

First off, you said she was fooling around on the side, right? Why would she not do that to you? Females cheat for the same reasons males cheat. Hell some get off on cheating. I would have a hard time believing that she would not feel guilty about cheating on you.

Second off, has this been the only female you have found attractive? Seriously you have never had fantasies about other females? If you live in the west there are plenty if other females out there. Take your in action from this experience as a lesson to live for today.

I I agree, start working out. I have been working out for almost a year. I am thinner and healthier. I feel better in general. I think hitting the gym will help you feel better. If you are serious about weight loss send me a PM and I can share everything I have learned over the past year. Plus the gym is a good place to chat people up.

As for what to do in the office. Well wear headphones, work on ignoring them. Plenty of attractive females date ********. You need to let it go. People have relationships It is part of life. So just let it be a passive thing to you. Always remember being single carries car more stigma thn being in a crappy relationship. Who says that female is not looking for an upgrade?

AFrozenSoul said:

Hmmm sounds kind of like an experience I had with a female in the office. When she started she was dating however she broke up with the guy. Then she was dating around. At the time I was with a female who I found far more attractive. This female in my office was pretty hot. She was asked to do playboy. Hell she might have even had a crush on me. I do not know, during an office party we were drinking and she was trying to take me back to her place. ^_^; I was pretty drunk. Anyway a few weeks later she was engaged to a firmer ex.

First off, you said she was fooling around on the side, right? Why would she not do that to you? Females cheat for the same reasons males cheat. Hell some get off on cheating. I would have a hard time believing that she would not feel guilty about cheating on you.

Second off, has this been the only female you have found attractive? Seriously you have never had fantasies about other females? If you live in the west there are plenty if other females out there. Take your in action from this experience as a lesson to live for today.

I I agree, start working out. I have been working out for almost a year. I am thinner and healthier. I feel better in general. I think hitting the gym will help you feel better. If you are serious about weight loss send me a PM and I can share everything I have learned over the past year. Plus the gym is a good place to chat people up.

As for what to do in the office. Well wear headphones, work on ignoring them. Plenty of attractive females date ********. You need to let it go. People have relationships It is part of life. So just let it be a passive thing to you. Always remember being single carries car more stigma thn being in a crappy relationship. Who says that female is not looking for an upgrade?

Click to expand...

This is completely off topic lol but it's been bugging me for a little while haha, AFrozenSoul, what is your avatar from?
At first glance I thought I seen Gaara from Naruto but it's clearly not him.

It is a male wizard from the game ragnarok online >> You shoulda have pmd him lol.

kamya said:

It is a male wizard from the game ragnarok online >> You shoulda have pmd him lol.

Click to expand...

Already handled PMing him the answer

Thank you kamya. I know I will be fine once she leaves. You might be right about the projected feelings, I will have to investigate that.
You are probably right about it not being love. I don't even believe in such an idea. If movies are to be believed (and really that's my only benchmark at this time) I would be miserable long after she leaves. But I know I will be fine the day she's gone. It is having to endure the two of them in office that is making it worse. The feeling is most likely infatuation. I should have used the word infatuation.

AFrozenSoul: Thanks. You make some interesting points. Frankly speaking I never imagined this particular girl to be like that. That is why I never even attempted making a move. Sure part of it was my own low self-esteem and shyness but it was also the kind of image of her that I had in my mind.I guess I was looking at an imagined person all along.
The thing with her and the coworker is extremely confusing and saying anything at this point is pure speculation. Confrontation is the only true solution, but I neither have the authority nor the desire to confront her about it.
I will work on ignoring her and getting through May. Headphones are my friends, music is my savior. June 1 is what I am looking forward to.
I am a lazy person but I am looking to get fitter. I will be healthier and feel infinitely better about my own self. I need to get out of the rut that I am in. I will send you a PM