"I want to have beautiful-looking, attractive friends." Are these "friends"...

...just back-up, potential sex partners?

I thought I had made my first friend IRL (now ex-friend) a while ago - and he mentioned something that pissed me off to a great extent.

"People only want to be friends with people that are physically attractive."

1) He stated along the lines of:
"It's how everyone secretly is. If you could have a choice between two friends - it's better to be seen with the better-looking one/ the one closer to the media's standards. It makes you look like you're "with" them and people will admire and look up to you for it."

I'm pretty sure after he said that he stared at my boobs...which were covered up btw...>_>

So it makes me wonder...do people really worry that much on who they are seen with?
I definitely don't want to care any more about other people's opinions of who they see me with considering that I had to grow up with so much unprovoked hatred towards my looks and race.

I understand that in relationships, we need to be attracted to our partner. But as friends - are many people so superficial that they cut-off/ turn away anyone who is less of the media's standards?

This fella...he didn't have many friends!
(I am no longer his friend not because of this but for other reasons.)
He often complained about his lack of friends...well, it comes as no surprise to me if looks are all he cares about in a friend.

Which brings me to my next point..

2) People in relationships that only want to be friends with people they are attracted to.

Oh yes...he and I had a go at it.
It still irks me seeing as after bringing it up with a few people; everyone agreed with his thoughts.

Do you believe people in relationships can be friends with the opposite-sex/ same-sex (if you're gay etc)?
I would like to say "Yes!"
However, I think that if your partner is only looking befriend people that he/ she would love to f*** or is strongly attracted to - I personally think there's a deeper issue.
I think in this type of scenario; the "friends" are just back-up potential sex partners. You can have your cake and eat it too!

3) Arghhh.

It's Saturday morning - cold and rainy outside...so here I go again.

I miss the innocence of friendship.
I see the little boys and girls playing with each other happily.

I've tried to befriend women - it's hard. I haven't clicked with any yet.
I've tried to befriend men - and they said we were friends - and then ended up touching me when I didn't ask for it.
It's nice to have friends that you care about and there are no strange or hidden expectations.

It pisses me off that he (and a few others) said that they'd not want to be seen with their friend if their friend became sick/ unattractive.

This is just a rant...I can't change how things work, but I suppose I can offer some reading material from a bitter young woman on Saturday morning.

:K ARGGGGH HUMANSSSSS. DESTTTRRRROYYYY.

FYI - I consider a difference between "looks" and "appearance".
Looks - What you're born with: Tall, short, big nose, small nose, brown hair, red hair, etc.
Appearance - How you groom, dress, portray yourself etc.

For my post, I'm referring to looks; not so much appearance.
I definitely understand people who do not want to be friends with someone who has red paint that looks like blood smeared all over their face and is parading in some offensive shirt like: "Slap dat *****!" "Nazi pride!" for their appearance.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_proof#In_social_interactions

Sexuality is important to men, its something of a drive that we may or may not be able to entirely help. And while its false as to what I've heard once - that all male/female friendships contain someone wanting more than that(what about a male friendship with an older woman that he sees as a substitute mother?), certainly quite a few friendships have one of the partners ultimately seeking validation in something more.

I know for myself, right or wrong, being accepted sexually by someone that I'm attracted to is a strong sense of personal value - it means that I'm worth it, good enough, etc. This certainly doesn't mean that I only associate with attractive women, but unfortunately or otherwise, I do think that I mentally judge women by their looks quite a bit more than men.

You see it in my office immediately, I think; while the male managers are dressed in business casual in greater or lesser states of organization, the one female exec is always dressed in a way that must be simultaneously attractive as well as endlessly tidy. I, for my part, entirely appreciate her high heels and the subtle cinching under her vest.I imagine its not entirely fair that she clearly expresses part of her value on a level that is completely separate from competence(and simultaneously, is expected to play the double standard of being modest) but that is the way it is.

Well...

...since the media considers walking piles of honeysuckle like this to be beautiful...



NO.

I don't care if they're not "beautiful" at all.

P.S. Seriously, just stare at her for a moment. Why the fresia would ANYONE consider her attractive? Ugh.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that media-acceptability is silly nonsequitor. Also consider the mountains of makeup they are.

I think I've told this story here. Maybe it was in chat. I dunno. Anyway, I once met this seemingly cool guy online. We wrote back and forth for a bit, and things were cool. We started using Instant Messenger, and it was hunky dory until he asked for pictures. I didn't have a digital camera or a scanner. He couldn't imagine continuing with our developing friendship, because he needed proof that I was attractive. I asked why that mattered, when we were just friends. He said that he doesn't have ugly friends. Not even guys. Laaaaaaaaaaaame.

This post makes me feel sad. =/

*self-pity Party*

Everyone's invited!!

Looks mean nothing to me when it comes to friends. To anyone who thinks it does matter, you are a selfish, ignorant, materialistic, shallow ********* of a person.

Its all about the personality.

I don't live up to being pretty by society's standard. It would be unfair and simply stupid of me to expect it from others. Besides that, I'm not shallow. If I like someone, I like them regardless. And if I dislike them, I dislike them despite them being attractive.

Weird, I've never given a fresia what my friends look like. Hell if theyre less attractive than me it means they'll be less likely to be attractive to any women I'm interested in . I see that as a plus!

As for friends with chicks, looks matter if I'm planning on making a move later. But if not, no problem there either.

... unless said friends have poor hygene. I hate people that don't shower.

Oh ****...I must be a self fish prick

Any guy that say looks dosnt matter when it comes to Sexual partners or intimate relationship is blwoing smoke up women's ass.
Its built into males and his basic nature. You can fill his logic with moral N vales and reinforce it with fucken guilt trips all you want..it still not going to change his DNA make up.

As far as friendship gose..why in the fresia would I care how they look like or how much they make....Not unless I have a hiiden motive of wanting to be friend people and hoping they let me fresia them....
Honestly....

ugly ass people can also be mean. Selffish, judgementle, self absording and self rightouse as anyone.

In my personal life experince ugly ass fat chick ...bitches, moan and complains about life more than an avergae person... A fat jolly person is few and far between.

its the same stupid argument that a rich man is a sinner and a poor man will get into heaven.
But honestly...observe fucken poor people...most of them are miserable, and mean.

I don't think Paris Hilton is attractive, but I do want girls whom I consider as attractive

Well...living in my head is not such a healthy thing to do.....Letting someone on Line that I dont even know rent spcae in my head is a major...mojar NO...NO.
I know a couple of ugly fat chicks IRL...they are very controlling and want to hold people hostage to their misries....and complains all the time..
With their deep and thoughtfull bullshit.lmao....

I rather spend my time with a hawt babe laughing, smling and having a good time anyway. Its a NO FUCKEN BRAINER.

actually, to further clarify.
Yes, the lady has to be attractive/beautiful. But being "beautiful" in the whole package- personality, look, compatibility, aura, feel....etc. So in a way, we are all looking for the most "beautiful" person to our own standard

Lonesome Crow said:

Any guy that say looks dosnt matter when it comes to Sexual partners or intimate relationship is blwoing smoke up women's ass.

Click to expand...

It's beautiful how even in threads that specifically say "friends", you manage to bring in the sex as your response.

nerdygirl said:

Lonesome Crow said:

Any guy that say looks dosnt matter when it comes to Sexual partners or intimate relationship is blwoing smoke up women's ass.

Click to expand...

It's beautiful how even in threads that specifically say "friends", you manage to bring in the sex as your response.

Click to expand...

Hahaha Nerdy <3

I think we all approach new friendships as network connections. We value these by particular criteria simply because you can't be everybody's friend. Personally, I like to meet new people all the time and so I avoid hanging out with my friends who only hang out with each other or no-one else.

To that effect, I do gravitate towards attractive people be they popular/famous, interesting or just gorgeous simply because I assume that I will get more out of them since they are more socially active/have more friends. In class, sometimes I sit with a fellow loner but we don't usually end up talking much. Whereas if I sit with a bunch of people who are more outgoing, I end up interacting more.

Maybe we assume that attractive people are more socially adept. I know that if I met an attractive woman, I'd try to talk to her but if she happens to be a total b*tch then I next her. If I meet a classically attractive man then I assume they are all tools and avoid them altogether unless I find out they are actually nice guys.