fear of people

hi, i don't know how to start...
i have a fear of people and getting close to someone is something i don't think i can do, i don't go out and i don't have any friends.. never been a social person but i have always wanted to be..
too many bad memory's...
due to my past... and present... i have a low self-esteem..
i am very shy.. i will just site in the corner with my head down not saying a word or even looking at the other person... would also be trying to stop a panic attack or 2...
in crowds or small groups of people i don't stand a chance...

around girls... im even worse...
it would be nice to make some female friends.. i guess thats why im here...

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hmm.... im not a very good sales person am i 8|

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has a package deal you'll also get my problems....

the PMs will be gathering up now....

Have you seen a doctor about this? Don't take this as a diagnosis, but sounds like social anxiety to me.

We're here for you at least ^_^ If you would like to talk about stuff, you can do so on here without people near you knowing~

yay! ^.^
thanks guys... 8)


i have avoidant personality disorder

Social Anxiety can really suck. I've found that for me at least its easier to be in a small group if there is someone i know. Also the more i force myself to leave the house the less anxiety attacks i get. Work on your one on one interactions and build your way up. There are some days where i just can't handle being around people or in public places and thats okay, i'm much happier when i control how much contact i have with people and how much i say. I speak up when i want and other times just sit back and watch the conversation. I also can focus on the people if i'm not over analyzing my appearance, Confidence plays a big part. There are medicines for anxiety but i found that i'm even less social when drugged lol i'm also less friendly. Oh and being nervous around the opposite sex is completely normal for everyone Choose the people you are around carefully and i think you will do great. You have to push your limits slowly, no matter how many bloopers you have, you will succeed in the end. Good Luck

Yeah im the same way. No matter what I always tend to hang back when im at a bar or concert, hell even at afamily function. I always feel alone even with a crowd of people I know,

Hi Mr Hermit, I relate very much to what you wrote. People are scary to me, am a nervous wreck around most of them..

I wish i could say I overcame it, and could give advice, but unfortunately I did not yet. However, I am going to try to take baby steps with it..

Can you do that, baby steps? Make effort to say any thing to others, even just a word, or to be able to look at the other person, even if just a few seconds? Small progress is progress none the less, so I hope you can try.

Best of luck

It really does sound like you need a CBT therapist.

I have social anxiety/generalized anxiety, and I deal with it every day. It can really suck at times, but I just take it one day at a time.

Maybe try finding a community of like minded people who share your fears? There are many social anxiety forums out there.

I just want to say first off, that I read this thread as "Fear of Purple".

Secondly, face your fears man Not everyone sucks.

Sometimes I walk around, totally unafraid of purple, then I'll talk to purple and act like I know what I'm doing. Then I say something that show I have no idea how purple speak, and I really, really hope that it just seems like english isn't my first language.

i.e. "have a good night" says the co-worker,
"thank you" says the social spaz... then I walk away, without saying "same to you" or whatever, or it's like, 1 in the afternoon and i'll say "have a good night!!!" then I start feeling self-conscious about getting the time of day right. And I want to say something to correct myself and restore dignity then I think to hell with it, don't make it worse, and I just shuffle along.

http://fuckyeahsociallyawkwardpenguin.tumblr.com/ is my life.

That's fine Sarah. A lot people think shyness like that is cute on a girl. Don't beat up yourself over it

perfanoff said:

That's fine Sarah. A lot people think shyness like that is cute on a girl. Don't beat up yourself over it

Click to expand...

I don't. Sometimes women want to be taken seriously, and being awkward, besides living in a world that believes that girls/women should worry about their "cuteness" all the time doesn't really facilitate that.

Sorry to read your struggles Mr Hermit. I'm a little bit like you describe. I have one or two friend that I feel reasonably okay around and I enjoy their company, but I'm incredibly self conscious around most. When I'm talking I go red and stumble over my words and end up sounding like an idiot. It's hard.

As you mention bad memories seeing a therapist might be a good option for you. Therapy has helped me a lot.

I am extremely shy around girls. Guys, though I'm a social butterfly. Not really girls in general, but girls I find attractive I can't even walk up to or I'll blush.

My recommendation to you is to either,
1. Join a sports team
2. Get a job
3. Join a club at your school (I don't know your age or anything, if not school community)

This will introduce you to new people and hopefully you can learn to meet new people that way. I started my job in May, and I'm friends or talkative with over half the store. I can approach anyone in there except the girl I've talked about in previous threads. Trust me this will help a lot. My closest friends, I grew up playing basketball with .

Mr Hermit said:

hi, i don't know how to start...
i have a fear of people and getting close to someone is something i don't think i can do, i don't go out and i don't have any friends.. never been a social person but i have always wanted to be..
too many bad memory's...
due to my past... and present... i have a low self-esteem..
i am very shy.. i will just site in the corner with my head down not saying a word or even looking at the other person... would also be trying to stop a panic attack or 2...
in crowds or small groups of people i don't stand a chance...

around girls... im even worse...

Click to expand...

I can relate what you're going through, Mr. Hermit. I've a fear of getting close to anybody and anyone I don't or hardly know, and anxiety sets in whenever I'm around to strangers. I'm working on to overcome this problem by

bump

darling, I don't bite, I promise

Mr Hermit said:

hi, i don't know how to start...
i have a fear of people and getting close to someone is something i don't think i can do, i don't go out and i don't have any friends.. never been a social person but i have always wanted to be..
too many bad memory's...
due to my past... and present... i have a low self-esteem..
i am very shy.. i will just site in the corner with my head down not saying a word or even looking at the other person... would also be trying to stop a panic attack or 2...
in crowds or small groups of people i don't stand a chance...

around girls... im even worse...
it would be nice to make some female friends.. i guess thats why im here...

---

hmm.... im not a very good sales person am i 8|

---

has a package deal you'll also get my problems....

the PMs will be gathering up now....

Click to expand...

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I can relate to the first 2 sentences. I don't even like people seating too close to me. I do ok in small groups.

I always picture myself self wanting to be more outgoing and loud one. But it's just not in my nature.

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LeaningIntoTheMuse said:

It really does sound like you need a CBT therapist.

I have social anxiety/generalized anxiety, and I deal with it every day. It can really suck at times, but I just take it one day at a time.

Maybe try finding a community of like minded people who share your fears? There are many social anxiety forums out there.

Click to expand...

What is CBT therapist?