Cruelty, Fear, and Intimidation

[TropicalStarfish]

I was playing a quick online video game for a bit today. An opponent on the opposing team of the game, had a few words for me, here and there, the last of which was, "That I should commit suicide and that nobody loves me." It was worded a bit differently.

I found those words to be profoundly painful to hear. I wouldn't say it's a feeling I haven't felt before. I'm not sure if the pain comes first, or the fear. Then there is a component of sadness. And then there is anger.

I know a person who would say such things, should not have, at the least, their words, be given much consideration. Yet, the pain is there. I wish it wasn't.

It's very weird.

I feel as though, no matter how much I think about, problematic situations like this, I will not reach a satisfactory conclusion as how to handle them in the future.

A quick witted person, would probably be able to level such a person with a quick retort that would shut them up.
A like minded and familial person would just respond in kind, to the delight of both.
A person who felt secure in themselves, not needing the approval of others, wouldn't really be bothered either way.

I know such a person was most likely just a young, foolish person. Some one made them feel that way once, perhaps.

I know Epictitus would have perhaps handled things differently.

I am not Epictitus though. heh.

 

[ardour]

I'm sure you're aware it's most likely some idiot keyboard warrior kid. Most online gaming communities are toxic. The group of Aussies I game with are mostly older guys, but there's there's still the occasional bit of nastiness.

 

[Unsigned]

People get this worked up over video games???

I'm not a "gamer", but I have experienced this level of nastiness in the comments sections of political and "manosphere" sites.
I stopped commenting on those. Just not worth the aggravation.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Fight the power Trops darling !

Sometimes the man who walks the high road is way more impressive

 

[user 150037]

This person is in no position to say that nobody loves you! They don't even know who you are!

Being as this idiot doesn't know you personally, you can't take it personally. So don't take it personally. That's what I remember when I encounter any online trolls or toxic characters.

If you can honestly say that you wouldn't talk to someone in the way this person spoke to you, that makes you more superior to them.

This individual is obviously someone who is bitter and neglected, so you shouldn't be angry or hurt by them, you should pity them for needing to put others down in order to feel good.

My friend had an argument with a stuck up girl who said to her 'no wonder nobody wants to be with you!'. But she has the likes of me who feels overwhelming joy in her company and misses her when she's not around. (yes, maybe I do have a tiny crush on her. lol). Hence just cos someone says nobody loves you, it doesn't mean that it's true.

Rise above it. And have a nice day.

 

[Cherubino]

That guy has experienced at some point in his life the striking power of those words on himself and he was so painfully "impressed" by such weapon that he eagerly acquired it ... we all shop for high quality insults and witties for future use ... anyway truly smart men know that the important thing is to win the war not some battles

 

[Cherubino]

I think one thing you and I have in common and makes us vulnerable is the inability to despise ... it's obvious you have the knowledge (that that guy is despicable), you have the will ... but you don't have the power ... because deep inside you have a pure, child-like soul and at some point you must realize and internalize that this is not a fault but a quality (including for some valuable women) ... I already did it

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Thnx for your replies folks. It's tempting to pity myself, which I may have done a bit. There are things in life that are sometimes quite difficult. And I suppose sometimes we will not be prepared to handle them tactfully/wisely/etc..

I will continue to try and learn.

If it helps anyone else: one thing I am, was aware of, was reminded of, is: like how sunburned skin is painfully sensitive to normal stimuli. One must take care, under such circumstances: skin balms, use sun-screen next time, be cautious, etc.. A wound is usually going to be more sensitive to normal stimuli, until it heals. And perhaps some wounds cause nerve damage. In these cases, perhaps we must be more aware of our numb spots.

 

[user 190541]

What game were you playing, @TropicalStarfish?

Regardless, don't let that get you down. Gaming is an immense joy, one that only a fraction of humanity - that is, of all the people who ever lived - has and had access to. It is a true privilege to be able to immerse oneself in the multifarious and stupendously amazing worlds of interactive fiction that games are. It is an experience to which there's nothing quite similar on Earth. Don't let the rudeness of one person ruin it for you.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

People are arseholes. Especially online, and especially in online games.
It's one thing to give somebody schtick and rib them but there's gotta be a point where it's gotta stop, you know? If it never stops that kinda defeats the purpose of it all together. That's when it goes from just screwing around with the person for kicks to being outright abusive. I've left A LOT of communities because they didn't know where to draw the line with that, and eventually figured out at my exit point that the reason why is because they don't know how to draw the line at all. Some people really are like that like all of the time, I just don't get it. That's why I never delve too much into it, especially with online gaming. I'm always under the assumption that a loud-mouthed brat on the other end of the mic is, well, a loud-mouthed brat. Life has a way of humbling people, and for all of their excessive force, I mostly shrug it off and rest assured that one day they will definitely get their own. It may not be tomorrow, or the next week, it could take even decades, but sooner or later, they're going to have the epiphany of "maybe I shouldn't be such an arsehole."

 

[TheSkaFish]

I was playing a quick online video game for a bit today. An opponent on the opposing team of the game, had a few words for me, here and there, the last of which was, "That I should commit suicide and that nobody loves me." It was worded a bit differently.

I found those words to be profoundly painful to hear. I wouldn't say it's a feeling I haven't felt before. I'm not sure if the pain comes first, or the fear. Then there is a component of sadness. And then there is anger.

I know a person who would say such things, should not have, at the least, their words, be given much consideration. Yet, the pain is there. I wish it wasn't.

It's very weird.

I feel as though, no matter how much I think about, problematic situations like this, I will not reach a satisfactory conclusion as how to handle them in the future.

A quick witted person, would probably be able to level such a person with a quick retort that would shut them up.
A like minded and familial person would just respond in kind, to the delight of both.
A person who felt secure in themselves, not needing the approval of others, wouldn't really be bothered either way.

I know such a person was most likely just a young, foolish person. Some one made them feel that way once, perhaps.

I know Epictitus would have perhaps handled things differently.

I am not Epictitus though. heh.

Well, you could always clap back with something about their age, since anyone who takes video games that seriously enough to say such unnecessarily hurtful things to you, is either a child or a childish adult.

I might have said something like "does Mommy know you're on her internet again?"

This is a big part of why I was never into the multiplayer aspect of games that much, the abuse you would get if you made mistakes or weren't that good at the game. A game is something you do to relax, and I'd hardly call that relaxing when you have to essentially treat it like a job, or else get insulted. I'm also not a fan of the fast pace of multiplayer games. I like to soak up the environment, and the world, and because of that I prefer single-player story mode.

I have to say though, that I can definitely see why you'd feel bad about it though, even though you know you shouldn't - that's the thing, the whole situation is emotional, not logical. I hate being insulted, I mean I hate it. It's kind of like that topic we were talking about before - when someone insults you, they're trying to kick you into low status, and I've always hated that, it's always bothered me intensely. So my knee-jerk response is to explode, to assert hard that I'm NOT f'ing low status. However, if you're not going to actually physically fight the person, it doesn't work that well. I'm trying to shift to being sarcastic instead and trying to find some way to insult them back. And of course the best case scenario, is that it doesn't happen at all.

It's kind of a thing I've articulated about myself, as I've done more introspection and reflection - things like pride, dignity, honor, all that stuff is really important to me, so when someone tries to kick me into accepting low status and submissiveness, tries to dominate me, it feels like an attempt at violation and I treat it as an act of war. The problem is, the unspoken rule of this meritocracy world, is that if you DON'T want to be forced to accept submissiveness, which I hate like hell, you have to be good at something. And I've never felt like there's anything I can be good at. You see now why it's so important to me. Being good at things, for me, is literally the threshold between heaven and hell.

Anyway, like others said, it's just one idiot, hopefully this experience hasn't ruined gaming for you.

 

[user 150037]

If I ever did play online and had some ringworm hurling abuse at me, I would say something like 'Wait until you hit puberty, and then you can use 'big boy' words'.

 

[August Campbell]

I was playing a quick online video game for a bit today. An opponent on the opposing team of the game, had a few words for me, here and there, the last of which was, "That I should commit suicide and that nobody loves me." It was worded a bit differently.

I found those words to be profoundly painful to hear. I wouldn't say it's a feeling I haven't felt before. I'm not sure if the pain comes first, or the fear. Then there is a component of sadness. And then there is anger.

I know a person who would say such things, should not have, at the least, their words, be given much consideration. Yet, the pain is there. I wish it wasn't.

It's very weird.

I feel as though, no matter how much I think about, problematic situations like this, I will not reach a satisfactory conclusion as how to handle them in the future.

A quick witted person, would probably be able to level such a person with a quick retort that would shut them up.
A like minded and familial person would just respond in kind, to the delight of both.
A person who felt secure in themselves, not needing the approval of others, wouldn't really be bothered either way.

I know such a person was most likely just a young, foolish person. Some one made them feel that way once, perhaps.

I know Epictitus would have perhaps handled things differently.

I am not Epictitus though. heh.

Sorry about your experience. The remark that the offender made is disgusting. Certainly contemptible to me, because the offender included suicide in his remark. The remark is contemptible to me because 10 years ago a friend of mine living in my same apartment complex actually committed suicide. She was well-known in this building-complex because she used to be friendly to all the tenants. Whenever I went down to the lobby to check for my mail, and she happened to be there, she would always begin a conversation with me. She treated everybody like family. But I never knew the extent of the emotional turmoil she was going through because she always kept up a cheerful facade. I knew she had the mental illness of Bipolar but I never knew it would destroy her.
Rest in peace, Linda--at least now the demons cannot attack you.

 

[user 150037]

That's so sad.