Just so **** useless :(

So, about two month ago i got my first job at 20yo. I was happy that I actually got a job. The job was in a warehouse, and I do have a forklift certification but they wanted me loading trucks by hand. So, i was like fresia it, as long as i'm getting paid it's no big deal. My first week working there was brutal, loading trucks for 8 hours is a hell of a workout. But i didn't mind, i prefer doing something physical. The thing is tho, my supervisors kept getting on my case that im going too slow. Other workers were going like 4 times my pace. That just really made me feel like honeysuckle. So after 1 month of working there i asked to instead do another position, they said ok and that they'll call me when something comes up. That was like two weeks ago and when I try to call them they don't pick up so i leave a message and still nothing. I think it's safe to say they don't want me anymore.

Now, Im just sitting at my parents house playing video games and watching netflix all day. While I am looking at other temp agencies to get into, I doubt I'll get any calls anytime soon. Never thought my life was gonna turn out like this when i was in school. The loser who works for 3 weeks and gives up. Its sad really, everything i do i quit. Like the massage college and community college I tried. Makes me wonder why i even bother with it all. My life, my existence is just one big joke. All this on top of being a virgin, haven't had a single friend in 3 years. Never had a girlfriend, never been in love. Killing myself right now would end this pile of honeysuckle called my life. But i don't have the balls to do it. Sorry for the depressing post. I don't know what to do with my shitty life. I just want it all to end so badly.

At 20 years old, you’ve got a ton of time to figure out how to get around this though, so try not to be too hard on yourself. Trying to figure out exactly where you’re going in life at that age is so **** difficult, and I tend to find that quite a lot of people who instantly fit in to a certain way of life at that age (such as career or having kids) kind of get a bit itchy when they’re in their 30’s and 40’s. Mainly because they feel like they’ve missed out or rushed into things too young.

What I’m trying to say is, try to use this time to think about what you truly want out of life. Coast for a little while and try to live in the moment. Have a think about what improvements you can make today in your life. For example, you mention about wanting a girlfriend, how about getting in better shape? Getting a new haircut? New clothes? Learn to drive? I know those things cost money and if you’re not working it’s going to be difficult, but you can always find things to do to improve your situation that don’t cost cash.

Also, I think it's important from what you said that you find *something* that you can follow through with, like perhaps going back and doing those courses? I promise you will feel so much better in yourself if you can finish something that you started. Then, no matter what happens you can look at yourself in the mirror and think "You know what? If everything else in life is honeysuckle, at least I did X, Y and Z and NOBODY can take that away from me." Trust me, the pride in yourself will go through the roof.

Thanks for your reply, I was thinking of taking some other courses and this trade school i went to. Better than doing nothing I guess.

Yeah, at 20 you still have lots of time to sort things out. It seems like you really haven't figured out what to do or what you want from you life. I think once you figure that out you'll get your life on track and feel better about yourself. No one is useless, just gotta find what your useful for.

No worries mate, like Sci-Fi says, nobody is useless it’s just a case of finding a goal and moving towards it. Problem is, finding which way to go really is the difficult part. I know where you’re coming from though, I’m 30 now and didn’t know exactly what to do until I was about 25. It really freaked me out in my early 20’s because I kind of felt like a bum since everyone else I knew was in Uni or just starting a career of some sort.

A good example of why it’s worth taking your time is a guy that I know. Basically he went for some office management job when he was younger because it paid well. With his large salary he bought a nice big house, which is great. Trouble is, 10 years down the road he is stuck in this job which he now hates (because there was no passion there, just a fat paycheck) and he is trapped because he still has money left to pay on the house. Now he can’t afford to swap careers without losing the house, and by the time he has paid it off he has admitted that he'll be at an age where he probably won't be bothered to do what he was really passionate about in life.

^What they said. These frustrations you will get on and off in life. But don't give up cos of them. Take a break, yeah. But never give up.

Good luck!!