I wonder.....

I thought this might be an interesting topic for us to pick our brains about.

How can there be 7 billion people on Earth and there is loneliness? Is it because people are too shy to talk to people? Too addicted to technology? What do you think?

Loneliness is a feeling often incurable by the company of others.

Sometimes, the more people I'm around, the more lonely I get, because I see how little I have in common with them, and how much more they have in common with each other.

The is a good point. We have to be able to get along with SOMEONE on this earth. I think people struggle to get out of their comfort zones.

I don't see technology as a barrier, to be honest... Take internet, for example. It's a way to reach out for milliions and millions of people and one of them might just pick your interest. I've made some good online friends.

To answer the real question, I don't know. Too many people makes the problem worse, though. You'd have to meet all of them to be able to say that there's no match between you and everyone else haha

Here goes nothing...which is a lot actually:

Even with the existence of the internet which enables us to connect with people across the globe this number of seven billion people isn't relevant at all. And I'm fully aware that not all seven billion have access to the internet. But people vary significantly. I'm not saying 'every human being is as unique as a snowflake' and all that because there surely are people that are very much alike - they are just not aware of each other's existence.

Regarding this affair, the internet and technology might even be counterproductive. Why deal with the 'local riff-raff' when you have the possibility to talk to someone across the globe who you have much more in common with? Of course you can't invite them to the movies, visit them at their house, take a walk with them or whatever people like to do when socializing locally...but one might sacrifice these things for the feeling of connectivity the locals can't give him.

Do all these possibilities make us choosier? Raising our social standards in an unhealthy way? I have no idea to be honest...actually it just popped up in my head while I was typing it. I'm a victim of my own awareness here, because I am choosy. Take my class at school for instance...there's just one person I have a slight affinity to. The others are not terribly important to me. I think I have next to nothing in common with them. I observed them for one and a half years and have not been proven wrong yet. Some are bland, some are incredibly obnoxious...some are actually kinda nice and very social. But they 'outrank' me on a human scale...I simply am not that nice. My thoughts are too twisted and dark to allow any sense of belonging to them...

That's just one aspect about this issue, but I'd better stop here. I already went far afield...

I think that one of the main reasons why loneliness exists is because most of us are too afraid to admit to being lonely. We fear being judged negatively by others. People can be cruel and dismissive towards any mention of loneliness, so our fear is based in reality.
Sometimes when I am talking to someone outside wearing my social mask, I wonder if, behind the other's smiling face, there is the same emptiness and despair that my own smile masks?

painter said:

Loneliness is a feeling often incurable by the company of others.

Sometimes, the more people I'm around, the more lonely I get, because I see how little I have in common with them, and how much more they have in common with each other.

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Yes, this is my problem. To be close to others means more than to just be in the presence of someone, and it's a sense of belonging and acceptance that's missing in my life. Yet I see others naturally falling into new groups, new friendships, and new relationships.

Generally I am very happy with just my own company, sometimes thats all I want, but I reached a point in my life where I wanted some more connections that I had not maintained or cultivated, this lead me to this site.

I feel I have a good balance that works for me now.

It's a peculiar thing, but I have never been so alone in my life, and yet I feel less lonely than I ever have. I'm much happier with who I am as a person than I ever was before and I don't really feel like I need the validation of others in order to be happy, so perhaps that's the reason why.

Tiina63 said:

I think that one of the main reasons why loneliness exists is because most of us are too afraid to admit to being lonely. We fear being judged negatively by others. People can be cruel and dismissive towards any mention of loneliness, so our fear is based in reality.
Sometimes when I am talking to someone outside wearing my social mask, I wonder if, behind the other's smiling face, there is the same emptiness and despair that my own smile masks?

Click to expand...

I agree with this. I'm expanding this as I think loneliness happens to the most people who like to stay true to themselves but face a society with lots of norms that threatens their personality and requires them to change it in order to be accepted by others.

There are 7 billion people on Earth. Out of those 7 billion people most of them live on the other side of the world. You don't get along with arrogant, rude, unfriendly people so it cuts it down further. You only get along with people who have similar interests to yours which reduces the figure. You want to be accepted by certain people which further reduces the figure. We have preferences there may be billions of people on Earth but we'll never meet them all and finding the ones we want are so much harder to find. Think about how many thousands of people you pass in a day in a city. It's not uncommon for even super socialites to find themselves with no one to talk to than those on their phone. No one dares break the mold to speak to a stranger. Fear of being perceived negatively for doing so stops them.

Its so easy to be lonely your whole life whether that is by choice or not. You have to go out of your way to find the right people because the right people don't find you.

Wanderer145 said:

There are 7 billion people on Earth. Out of those 7 billion people most of them live on the other side of the world. You don't get along with arrogant, rude, unfriendly people so it cuts it down further. You only get along with people who have similar interests to yours which reduces the figure. You want to be accepted by certain people which further reduces the figure. We have preferences there may be billions of people on Earth but we'll never meet them all and finding the ones we want are so much harder to find. Think about how many thousands of people you pass in a day in a city. It's not uncommon for even super socialites to find themselves with no one to talk to than those on their phone. No one dares break the mold to speak to a stranger. Fear of being perceived negatively for doing so stops them.

Its so easy to be lonely your whole life whether that is by choice or not. You have to go out of your way to find the right people because the right people don't find you.

Click to expand...

I would have to agree with this. Although, I don't agree with the last sentence. Of course, you should go out looking for them, but if the "right" people also go out looking, they will find you, as well.

Yes, there are billions of people on this planet, but how many of them would you honestly WANT to know? How many of those would you want to let in enough to be able to not FEEL alone anymore?
Aside from just talking to people, in order to not feel alone, you have to be at least somewhat close to a person or you'll just feel like you're wandering around with no real purpose and no real connection.
I think fear of rejection also plays a huge role in loneliness, you may not WANT to be lonely/alone, but at the same time, you can't make yourself change it because of your fear.

I only feel lonely with regards to female company or lack of it.

Ironically enough, I was less lonely before the internet.


I wish it never existed to be honest.


AAAND ironically enough, if it weren't for it, I wouldn't be on here.

Odd.

I guess it's an individual thing. I am lonely, yes. But still I have a social group in the society where I fit in. I have a girlfriend (I say this because it's something many lonely people struggle with). Yet I still feel lonely. I guess it has to do with understanding. Alone and loneliness are two very different things

well, a really big lot of people don't like me and don't enjoy spending time with me and I am guilty myself of not finding a 10% of the population interesting enough
it would be great if we all got along

The cliche about how people in rural areas come across as more social and outgoing would seem to apply. A higher population makes for an atmosphere where people are competitive and/or suspicious of others. That and I think some societal changes; the lack of community, common values or religious belief exacerbate the sense of isolation an individual experiences. I guess these are very unoriginal points..

So many factors, everyone will probably have a different opinion. 7 billion people is 7 billion independent personalities, statistically speaking you're more likely to be compatible with other people the more there is, but that's if we were all in one place at one time and somehow able to speak to each other.

I think it's a combination of the state/pressure of current society and technology.

Einstein said he feared the day when technology surpassed human interactions. I think he was right to. Individualism also inherently makes it harder to understand each other, as personal experiences tend to gradually grow apart further and further. Not saying individualism is inherently wrong btw, but I do think it's going too far. I'm always praising balance.

Human said:

Einstein said he feared the day when technology surpassed human interactions. I think he was right to. Individualism also inherently makes it harder to understand each other, as personal experiences tend to gradually grow apart further and further. Not saying individualism is inherently wrong btw, but I do think it's going too far. I'm always praising balance.

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I think it's ironic how technology is used to connect everyone yet pushes people apart at the same time, the more variables there are the less balance there is. Current life is over complicated and full of variables.