Case
Well-known member
I made a deal with a friend of mine to get some things in our lives done. We set out to motivate each other through texting reminders. If we both succeeded in our goals, we were to see a "reward movie," something we both wanted to watch. If we failed, we would see a movie neither of us wanted to watch. FYI: The reward film is "Boyhood," and the prize for "failing" is the newest "Transformers" film.
Since we started, my friend invited a mutual buddy of ours to see the reward film, partly as an extra incentive to get our honeysuckle together. I have no idea if our mutual buddy knows anything about this movie being our reward for a job well done.
Well, today I realized that I would not be able to complete my goals by the deadline, so had I earned the "failure" film. I texted my friend that I cannot earn the reward. She texted back that she missed one of her goals, so she did not earn it either, but since she had invited our friend to come with us to see the reward film, it would "be rude to cancel on him."
Since I did not make this deal with him, I didn't think it was my problem. I told her to go ahead and see the reward film since she already made plans to see it with him, and I'll go and see the other film myself. She said, "I'm not going to see Boyhood with him alone." That's her roundabout way of saying that I had to see the reward film with them.
The thing is, I feel like honeysuckle. I set a goal for Wednesday and I failed. I got some stuff done, but not everything, and only "everything" earned the reward. But now, my friend is essentially telling me that I have to see the reward film now no matter what. What is the good of having a reward if you intend to enjoy the reward regardless of success or failure?
So what do I do?
Do I tell her, "Sorry. You made the deal with your friend, so you need to go. I can't see the movie because I did not earn it?"
Or, do I tell her "Okay. I'll be there," even though neither of us earned this?
I honestly feel horrible right now and I'm not going to enjoy watching this movie because I'm in a down mood. I also feel like she is dismissing our agreement as "inconvenient" because she chose to invite a third person into this.
Can you guys give me a better perspective on this? I'd appreciate it.
TL-DR: Failed to complete agreed tasks, but friend wants me to claim reward for completion anyway, making me hesitate. Am I an idiot?
Since we started, my friend invited a mutual buddy of ours to see the reward film, partly as an extra incentive to get our honeysuckle together. I have no idea if our mutual buddy knows anything about this movie being our reward for a job well done.
Well, today I realized that I would not be able to complete my goals by the deadline, so had I earned the "failure" film. I texted my friend that I cannot earn the reward. She texted back that she missed one of her goals, so she did not earn it either, but since she had invited our friend to come with us to see the reward film, it would "be rude to cancel on him."
Since I did not make this deal with him, I didn't think it was my problem. I told her to go ahead and see the reward film since she already made plans to see it with him, and I'll go and see the other film myself. She said, "I'm not going to see Boyhood with him alone." That's her roundabout way of saying that I had to see the reward film with them.
The thing is, I feel like honeysuckle. I set a goal for Wednesday and I failed. I got some stuff done, but not everything, and only "everything" earned the reward. But now, my friend is essentially telling me that I have to see the reward film now no matter what. What is the good of having a reward if you intend to enjoy the reward regardless of success or failure?
So what do I do?
Do I tell her, "Sorry. You made the deal with your friend, so you need to go. I can't see the movie because I did not earn it?"
Or, do I tell her "Okay. I'll be there," even though neither of us earned this?
I honestly feel horrible right now and I'm not going to enjoy watching this movie because I'm in a down mood. I also feel like she is dismissing our agreement as "inconvenient" because she chose to invite a third person into this.
Can you guys give me a better perspective on this? I'd appreciate it.
TL-DR: Failed to complete agreed tasks, but friend wants me to claim reward for completion anyway, making me hesitate. Am I an idiot?