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I hate...
#11
An excellent book to help with this is by Howard Halpern, it is called "how to break your addiction to a person" I always find a book with an answer to any problem, but this one is really good I promise. When I was younger I had several destructive relationships and I do know how hard it is when you feel lonely and think anything is better than nothing. This is not true but it is overwhelming feeling at times.
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#12
I caved. I let her back into my life and got what I deserved. I hate myself for letting her have so much power over me. I wish I had never met her.
...the 5th of November [Image: falks_sm.png]

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#13
(08-17-2014, 08:43 PM)jjessea Wrote: I caved. I let her back into my life and got what I deserved. I hate myself for letting her have so much power over me. I wish I had never met her.

It's okay, don't be so hard on yourself. You don't deserve to be treated badly, and you have no reason to hate yourself. If you hate yourself, it will only give her more power over you. Low self-esteem and self loathing are feelings that she can use against you. So try not to feel that way. Focus on the good things about you and your life.

It can be easy to fall back into situations, even when we know they will only get us hurt. It can happen to anyone. You said earlier you wish you had someone else to focus on: Maybe you can try building up a network of support and friends. Even if it's just online, it'll help. I'm sure there are people around here who would be willing to "talk you down" when you're tempted to contact this girl again.

Good luck! And again, don't be so hard on yourself. It will only make things more difficult for you.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.
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#14
Thanks Locke. The one good thing about this whole situation is that I'm actually relieved to get back to my lonely life again.

It does make me sad to think about how bad her life is gonna get if she keeps going like this. It's just not my problem anymore. There's no helping that one.
...the 5th of November [Image: falks_sm.png]

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#15
(08-20-2014, 12:20 PM)jjessea Wrote: Thanks Locke. The one good thing about this whole situation is that I'm actually relieved to get back to my lonely life again.

It does make me sad to think about how bad her life is gonna get if she keeps going like this. It's just not my problem anymore. There's no helping that one.

I feel for you, I'm in an unhealthy situation myself but keep forgiving and going back. I'm scared that I'm acting out of desperation, but after a year and a half I'm finally starting to get tired of it and crave my old lonely life. Sometimes it takes a lot longer to reach your limit. And let's not discount this, you said she's addicted to drugs...you know that you can't have a healthy relationship with someone addicted to drugs. If you want to "save" her that's one thing, if you can handle her being such an emotional and selfish vampire....but it seems to depress you so much, I find solace in talking with strangers online too. Makes me feel less lonely until I have the courage to make some life-changing decisions.
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