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suicidal and lonely after losing first love
#1
hi, im an 18 year old male and i have recently suffered from a breakup. I have been with the girl for 3 months and it was my first love. Girls call me cute all the time and even my guy friends say im a good looking guy. I am scared im going to be alone. All i do is sit in my room all day i had a job but i got fired, i drink about 4 beer a night and just listen to music. I feel angry and sad and alone. I got screwed over by my job and my ex, I feel like i don't even have an identity anymore. I was also diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and i was given zoloft but i haven't taken it yet. I try to be a good and careing guy but that hasn't gotten me far........ Also i've been having trouble eating and sleeping. And i have been drinking about 2 tall cans of strong beer a night which gets me drunk. I have tried therapy and i have supportive friends and family but nothing seems to be working. I feel like im losing myself and i feel lost. Every morning i think about her in my sleep and it wakes me up and i can't get back to sleep. I honestly feel like ending it right now, ive been having thoughts of suicide for a while because whats the point? life just seems like a bunch of crap. Rarely anything good comes out of it and when it does it gets taken away from me for no reason.
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#2
When I lost my first love, I didn't touch another girl for five years. Yep, it blows...
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#3
I hate saying things like "there'll be other girls". I don't think it matters that much whether or not and when there'll be someone else to a young person who's just broken up. What's important is that there's life after it: plenty of room to expand emotionally, and plenty of other things that can make you feel good outside of beer and music. Even someone like me who doesn't have a single person outside of family to call can find something to love. Maybe give the women a break and fall in love with something simple like a book or a dog who teach you about feeling instead of asking it of you.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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#4
That sucks. I'm sorry that happened and it's an awful feeling to break up with someone you feel that passionately about. I know this won't sound like much just reading my text here but those feelings do get easier to deal with over time. Also, you mentioned you were given a prescription to help with anxiety? Maybe try slowing your drinking a bit and try that out? It's worth a shot if it can make you feel better right?
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#5
Drinking will not help. Please try to find a support group. There are a lot of them out there no matter where you live.

I've been there and I know it hurts. If you need to talk, please PM me.
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#6
I'm glad you came here michaelmyers24. You're 18, broke up with a lady, lost your job and you've gone into seclusion eh? That really does suck. I've been in pretty much the same space as you're in now......four decades ago......realistically, don't expect to feel better anytime soon, but tough it out, somehow. There IS a worthwhile life after the suffering passes. And after it passes, you're stronger for it.
Contentment comes from within.  Do not seek it from outside yourself.

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#7
(01-07-2015, 06:47 AM)jd7 Wrote: When I lost my first love, I didn't touch another girl for five years. Yep, it blows...
4.5 for me and I cried like a baby 6 years later when he married, because somewhere in my head I always thought he would come back for me lol. Yeah I can laugh now, but then… holy shit what a traumatic feeling.

It will pass, even though you don't feel that it will, this is what first love does when it dies, it hurts like a sickness of the soul.
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#8
Hi,
Sorry to hear you're having such a bad time. When did you split up with your girlfriend? It's ok and normal to be sad after a breakup and losing your job but definitely not ok to feel suicidal. You mentioned having some friends, perhaps you can reach out to them so you're not feeling so isolated and alone.
Welcome to the forum and I hope you stick around! Smile

-Teresa
En la boca cerrada no entran moscas.
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#9
(01-07-2015, 01:02 PM)stork_error Wrote: because somewhere in my head I always thought he would come back for me

It makes perfect sense when you 'know' you belong together. Ahh...innocence.

Fortunately, we survive, we struggle, we pull through, we grow, we learn, and if we're super lucky, we find someone even better that totally puts things in perspective.
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#10
(01-07-2015, 01:14 PM)jd7 Wrote: and if we're super lucky, we find someone even better that totally puts things in perspective.

yeah, good luck with that Wink
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