Christmas with CenotaphGirl

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CenotaphGirl

Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
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Guess.
Ramblings of a mad woman....no need to respond guys...

Sad Hallmark Movie GIF by Hallmark Channel



I will spend this Christmas all alone like I usually do... I have made that decision and unless Rob feels like dragging me kicking and screaming... I am sticking to it.
My Rob understands me in someways I dont even understand myself, as he's right... theres a familiarity, almost a ritual I do to prepare to spend Christmas alone...
Maybe I am scared of that changing, maybe I am scared of being hurt on Christmas like so many times before...
I have fantasies of spending it with the man I love... opening presents with a family.... having a naughty night as Mrs Clause... whoops too much info.. but you know what I mean...
a girl can dream... right?

But when the dreaming is done...

The reality of picking a city... purchasing a hotel... packing a suitcase is my ritual, it keeps me safe.

So... why do I feel so down about it.... Why do I always get so down about it....?
 
We humans are social creatures by nature. We truly were never meant to be alone. Obviously, there are some exceptions for men but for the most part most women have a natural sense to be around other humans. At least you know you will be alone. I am still figuring it out if I’ll spend it with my young children or not. I would much rather know now than deal with all the guessing.

I’m new here, mind telling me a few things about yourself? Nothing too personal I wouldn’t want someone to use it against you. I’m starting to like this forum. Hope you spend your time with someone
 
Mine comes from being an introvert. I like people but I can only take so much of them before I need to recover from people overload.
 
We humans are social creatures by nature. We truly were never meant to be alone. Obviously, there are some exceptions for men but for the most part most women have a natural sense to be around other humans. At least you know you will be alone. I am still figuring it out if I’ll spend it with my young children or not. I would much rather know now than deal with all the guessing.

I’m new here, mind telling me a few things about yourself? Nothing too personal I wouldn’t want someone to use it against you. I’m starting to like this forum. Hope you spend your time with someone
You know, you're probably right Sarg, maybe the truth is I accept my fate but I just wish I was brave enough to change it. Awh thats such a shame about not knowing where you'll spend your day. I hate uncertainties too. I hope you get to spend some of the day with them, and... dont forget the huge presents lol.

Welcome! I hope you're enjoying it here... I am Ceno... I am the opinionated crazy lady always ranting about my love life, my mother or mourning my father... I sometimes post things about genders and relationships and the psychology around men and women, they are hot topics but also my fave topics to research. I look forward to reading your posts and getting to know ya.

Mine comes from being an introvert. I like people but I can only take so much of them before I need to recover from people overload.

You know.. I can get like this when I've been around people too much, I'm the type of person to pop outside for 15 mins to gather my thoughts and maybe stare in the mirror a little bit... I used to have to look in my little pocket mirror mid convo but I am a lot better now, I can wait till after the convo in most cases.
 
We might get along, I like to consider myself a male rights activist who uses the woman’s way of thinking to enforce my views. Fight fire with fire. I do hope we get to chat about the nature of relationships.
 
You know, you're probably right Sarg, maybe the truth is I accept my fate but I just wish I was brave enough to change it. Awh thats such a shame about not knowing where you'll spend your day. I hate uncertainties too. I hope you get to spend some of the day with them, and... dont forget the huge presents lol.

Welcome! I hope you're enjoying it here... I am Ceno... I am the opinionated crazy lady always ranting about my love life, my mother or mourning my father... I sometimes post things about genders and relationships and the psychology around men and women, they are hot topics but also my fave topics to research. I look forward to reading your posts and getting to know ya.



You know.. I can get like this when I've been around people too much, I'm the type of person to pop outside for 15 mins to gather my thoughts and maybe stare in the mirror a little bit... I used to have to look in my little pocket mirror mid convo but I am a lot better now, I can wait till after the convo in most cases.
My bestie has 5 kids. I love them but I can only handle about 3 hours before I have to go home.
 
We might get along, I like to consider myself a male rights activist who uses the woman’s way of thinking to enforce my views. Fight fire with fire. I do hope we get to chat about the nature of relationships.
I consider myself an ultimate red pill princess, in which I think men and women are both fed lies to divide and distract us from the machine… it’s my lifes work to prove my theory… however its hard with the feminists lying about every little thing.

The thing I appreciate about men is that they are straight forward, women lie too much… hard to prove the external mission when one side cannot trust the other.

Relationships are simple, a man provides without fail… finance, protection, shelter and women provide sex, food and children… both should be without fail, both should be timely, however, women are allowed to slack off due to our biology… fine… reasonable men accept that… but then women abuse this slack and relationships become unbalanced. This is considered a normal relationship.. however, if a man slacks with providing any part of his role… it is abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse… and so on. I agree with this, but it should be true for both sides.

The machine started talking about men in DV situations, getting beaten up by women.... I believe this was another attack on masculinity... the real DV a large portion of men experience is being sex deprived for years, hoodwinked into sham marriages, but no one wants to talk about that...
 
My bestie has 5 kids. I love them but I can only handle about 3 hours before I have to go home.
Kids are crazy lol 5!!! I'd literally tell my hubby to get the snip after 3... I cant be dealing with that lmao
 
So... why do I feel so down about it.... Why do I always get so down about it....?
Because it's a compensating behaviour that requires dissonance to do and that dissonance is stressful and tiring, mentally, requires a lot of effort. It's not your dream, not what you really want to do, want to happen. I'd suspect you're doing it in response to, "scared of being hurt on Christmas like so many times before". Avoidance is no fun.

I have no idea how you could get around that. I do the exact same thing for different reasons. I think you're going to have to build your own family, one of acceptance. "Blood is thicker than water, but gun oil is thicker than blood." That's a military thing, to explain the philia that soldiers may feel for each other. Family doesn't have to be blood.
 
I consider myself an ultimate red pill princess, in which I think men and women are both fed lies to divide and distract us from the machine… it’s my lifes work to prove my theory… however its hard with the feminists lying about every little thing.

The thing I appreciate about men is that they are straight forward, women lie too much… hard to prove the external mission when one side cannot trust the other.

Relationships are simple, a man provides without fail… finance, protection, shelter and women provide sex, food and children… both should be without fail, both should be timely, however, women are allowed to slack off due to our biology… fine… reasonable men accept that… but then women abuse this slack and relationships become unbalanced. This is considered a normal relationship.. however, if a man slacks with providing any part of his role… it is abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse… and so on. I agree with this, but it should be true for both sides.

The machine started talking about men in DV situations, getting beaten up by women.... I believe this was another attack on masculinity... the real DV a large portion of men experience is being sex deprived for years, hoodwinked into sham marriages, but no one wants to talk about that...
I believe you are talking about Hoe-flation. Where a man must do way more to court a woman than the effort their parents or even their grandparents had to put forth to meet someone. Back two generations ago the population would meet within the town. Today we can reach the entire world and that ridiculous increase blinds mainly women to make them think they are better looking than they truly are.

I might be a man-rights activist but I will hold all men accountable for their miscreant behavior. Some have daughters and I don’t think they would want their daughters to be played like they were disposable. All women have worth. The raise and fall of all empires begin and end because of women.
 
The raise and fall of all empires begin and end because of women.

Then I wanna thank all the sexy ladies out there who are doing God's work and unknowingly contribute to the fall of the American empire. Special mention goes to the youth who refuses to enlist, thus helping bring the imperialist war machine to a halt.

Speaking of which, are you an actual sergeant?
 
I believe you are talking about Hoe-flation. Where a man must do way more to court a woman than the effort their parents or even their grandparents had to put forth to meet someone. Back two generations ago the population would meet within the town. Today we can reach the entire world and that ridiculous increase blinds mainly women to make them think they are better looking than they truly are.

I might be a man-rights activist but I will hold all men accountable for their miscreant behavior. Some have daughters and I don’t think they would want their daughters to be played like they were disposable. All women have worth. The raise and fall of all empires begin and end because of women.
See I disagree with this.... my reasearch shows women are better looking than men think they are. Thats the issue. Men call a woman a 4 who could get way more than 40% of the men in the room to sleep with her. It makes no sense. I am a solid 8... 80% of men on average would sleep with the princess and spend their whole wallet, even go without food to do it. Thats my reality, a man can call me a 4 all he wants, but thats not my reality. It's got to make sense. Statistics from dating sites show, most men are 2/10, hence why most men are sexless and alone. 70% of women are attractive to men, 90% of women are attractive enough to at least get a one night stand from a man... so it's not that they think they are better than they are, this is their reality.

The issue is, like money... value changes, in a world of obesity a slim younger woman.... becomes the standard and men get less for their money... but it's what you all want so stands to reason yesterdays 2/10 is now a 4/10. Now a man can always travel to where slim is just a norm and get more for his money out there. However, most men do not like to travel for women, I am not a man so I dont know why, but I think it's linked to ego and mens reluctance to spend directly for women... but desperate times...

Men do not need women, sadly we are disposable to them. The machine has made it that women do not need men romantically... this means men are disposable to us as well. The only way we are not is by building something that depends on more than our individual needs. Hmm.. what could that be.... a family. Family takes a formula, male roles and female roles, without this we see a 40+% divorce rate in the west.... I can rant about this all day lol finally someone I can throw all my ideas at!
 
Because it's a compensating behaviour that requires dissonance to do and that dissonance is stressful and tiring, mentally, requires a lot of effort. It's not your dream, not what you really want to do, want to happen. I'd suspect you're doing it in response to, "scared of being hurt on Christmas like so many times before". Avoidance is no fun.

I have no idea how you could get around that. I do the exact same thing for different reasons. I think you're going to have to build your own family, one of acceptance. "Blood is thicker than water, but gun oil is thicker than blood." That's a military thing, to explain the philia that soldiers may feel for each other. Family doesn't have to be blood.

You get me Bev, I am just trying to make the best of my crappy life... avoid what I cant handle and exploit what I can.

I stopped with one. I would have loved to have another but it wasn't in the cards for me
Awh I hope your child gives you strength, motherhood is no joke :) I am hoping to have 1 son, I have a daughter but shes not mine biologically so I really want to carry just one son then maybe get my body done a final time... concentrate on being a mum and that.

If it only were that simple, @CenotaphGirl...
I promise you, it's that simple, everyone just wants to complicate it lol
 
Then I wanna thank all the sexy ladies out there who are doing God's work and unknowingly contribute to the fall of the American empire. Special mention goes to the youth who refuses to enlist, thus helping bring the imperialist war machine to a halt.

Speaking of which, are you an actual sergeant?
You sound misguided, this thread is not political in nature. Only those that support any sort of communism/socialist society have never endured the true reality of oppression. No empire/country is perfect but it is better than what you are saying. You might want to take your empty words somewhere else or be reported.
 
See I disagree with this.... my reasearch shows women are better looking than men think they are. Thats the issue. Men call a woman a 4 who could get way more than 40% of the men in the room to sleep with her. It makes no sense. I am a solid 8... 80% of men on average would sleep with the princess and spend their whole wallet, even go without food to do it. Thats my reality, a man can call me a 4 all he wants, but thats not my reality. It's got to make sense. Statistics from dating sites show, most men are 2/10, hence why most men are sexless and alone. 70% of women are attractive to men, 90% of women are attractive enough to at least get a one night stand from a man... so it's not that they think they are better than they are, this is their reality.

The issue is, like money... value changes, in a world of obesity a slim younger woman.... becomes the standard and men get less for their money... but it's what you all want so stands to reason yesterdays 2/10 is now a 4/10. Now a man can always travel to where slim is just a norm and get more for his money out there. However, most men do not like to travel for women, I am not a man so I dont know why, but I think it's linked to ego and mens reluctance to spend directly for women... but desperate times...
I’m glad we disagree because you are completely wrong. You are not an 8. I know so because for you to think you are an 8/10 you have to wear a clown mask to deceit men. An 8/10 lives in a deluxe apartment in the sky and the wealth that comes with a $15,000 a month rent fee. Most women don’t have the same confidence when their makeup is missing. I understand one must give themselves self worth but not borderline delusional.

I’m going to use your logic. Most men are 2/10 (ugly) if it’s below 5/10. A man’s value comes from his wealth (high value man) look at bill gates. I know you wouldn’t touch him with even a taser but his wealth will have you stab your child at the mere mention of being with him. Which most women would be gold diggers. That is called SEXUAL MARKET VALUE. We have something you want, we want something you have.

This people who you claim get at you at every corner as if you were some spartan hiding behind his shield are simply SIMPs. Men who lost their way. Plenty of males with absentee fathers who didn’t get taught the thin line between flirting and begging.
 
So... why do I feel so down about it.... Why do I always get so down about it....?
Because you actually have a relationship and a family and the holidays should be spent with the ones you love and that love you, not alone in some other city?

You sound misguided, this thread is not political in nature. Only those that support any sort of communism/socialist society have never endured the true reality of oppression. No empire/country is perfect but it is better than what you are saying. You might want to take your empty words somewhere else or be reported.
Everything is political today. Doesn't matter what it is, there is some political aspect of it. Not sure why his post would get reported, there's nothing against the rules in it. You didn't exactly stay on topic either, btw....just saying.
 
I’m glad we disagree because you are completely wrong. You are not an 8. I know so because for you to think you are an 8/10 you have to wear a clown mask to deceit men. An 8/10 lives in a deluxe apartment in the sky and the wealth that comes with a $15,000 a month rent fee. Most women don’t have the same confidence when their makeup is missing. I understand one must give themselves self worth but not borderline delusional.

I’m going to use your logic. Most men are 2/10 (ugly) if it’s below 5/10. A man’s value comes from his wealth (high value man) look at bill gates. I know you wouldn’t touch him with even a taser but his wealth will have you stab your child at the mere mention of being with him. Which most women would be gold diggers. That is called SEXUAL MARKET VALUE. We have something you want, we want something you have.

This people who you claim get at you at every corner as if you were some spartan hiding behind his shield are simply SIMPs. Men who lost their way. Plenty of males with absentee fathers who didn’t get taught the thin line between flirting and begging.
Well my reality tells me im an 8 so I have to go off it, I do however, place a lot of value in make up thats very true... and i've had countless work done so nothing natural about me at all. I've never had to trick anyone im honest about who I am and what i've done, you'll get to see how much I overshare on here as you get to know me lol I dont live in a deluxe apartment lol I dont pay rent... I am not working class at all... No offense to anyone that is, but I am called the princess for a reason.

Yes I agree that they are simps, I do not respect the men I fan away, they are simps, they are ego boosters and of no other value to me... so I dont see where we disagree. When I was in school being ugly was something I experienced in reality, most guys didnt want to know me... my looks changed, my location changed, and thus my pulling power or SMV changed... my reality went from 3/10 to 8/10 at the least... if I said I was anything else no one would take me seriously, but the point is, even if im a 2/10 if I can still pull 80% of men... it doesnt make sense. Then what is a 1?

So where we disagree is the issue isnt women simply think they are better looking than they are, the issue is men are treating us as if we are. So... simps are a huge issue. We cant think we are 10's if men ignore us... or we struggle to attract men, it would be insane. So theres a cause and affect.
 
Well my reality tells me im an 8 so I have to go off it, I do however, place a lot of value in make up thats very true... and i've had countless work done so nothing natural about me at all. I've never had to trick anyone im honest about who I am and what i've done, you'll get to see how much I overshare on here as you get to know me lol I dont live in a deluxe apartment lol I dont pay rent... I am not working class at all... No offense to anyone that is, but I am called the princess for a reason.

Yes I agree that they are simps, I do not respect the men I fan away, they are simps, they are ego boosters and of no other value to me... so I dont see where we disagree. When I was in school being ugly was something I experienced in reality, most guys didnt want to know me... my looks changed, my location changed, and thus my pulling power or SMV changed... my reality went from 3/10 to 8/10 at the least... if I said I was anything else no one would take me seriously, but the point is, even if im a 2/10 if I can still pull 80% of men... it doesnt make sense. Then what is a 1?

So where we disagree is the issue isnt women simply think they are better looking than they are, the issue is men are treating us as if we are. So... simps are a huge issue. We cant think we are 10's if men ignore us... or we struggle to attract men, it would be insane. So theres a cause and affect.
Simps are the problem and the women who believe them. Both are wrong, simps are created from fatherless homes or from beta males in the home. Either way that is controlled by women for their poor selection in men. I won’t over share as you put it but I have dated an exotic dancer. It was a fantasy but couldn’t see it that way at first. When I involve myself with someone it is till death do us apart. I stop talking to all women except my own family. This woman was a natural beauty worth plastering in center folds. She would purposely apply on makeup to make herself look uglier and protect herself from the smoke. Her sister was ridiculous. Anyway I’m not bragging but just saying that yes attraction is a must it is not mandatory. I look back now and I would take a 2/10 or even a 3/10 so long as I get peace and loyalty.

In nature animals selection is via Darwinism where only the fittest survive. I blame technology as well. We have never reached so high of information it has…it will become our demise.

(If I may for efficiency sake instead of doing 2/10, I say we just do the first number.)
 

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