Materialism

I want to hear what everybody thinks and how materialism prevents some people getting into the "dating scene". Such as buying a certain gift, wearing a certain brand etc. You hear about how people would spend tens of thousands of dollars to date that person they want to date. Some start businesses, get engineering degrees, or go through medical school. Others do not so legitimate avenues such as(I dare say) gun running, drug dealing(although in the United States it's no longer as profitable in some areas as it was a decade ago but still nets the high money), robbery.

In my observations, some people can't see that are a decent person until you make those changes. You in a way have to buy them, not always with money. You either have to give them rides for free, pay for dinner, or buy them gifts. Although it is a strain on your wallet, when you skip a payment they tend to not be around. The bright side, the ones that stick around are actually like you instead of the perks that you hand out. So that's all for my little words for wisdom, now take the time to voice out your thoughts.


Cheers!

P.S. I write about this in my tumblr blog(Link is in my signature) as well. I would appreciate it if you guys could give me some exposure as well as on how to get more exposure. I would like this to be a high five figure job. Thank you in advance.

There are certainly materialistic women (and men). However, I think it's important to distinguish between someone who only cares about gifts and someone who graciously accepts them. It really is a fine line, I guess. So much is wrong with 'the dating scene' in general that I've managed to avoid it my entire life thus far. I like organic - meeting people in unexpected ways and in unexpected places. In such settings, there is less pressure to buy affection.

Really I think most decent people don't necessarily need gifts or whatever, but there is an expectation that you can take care of yourself. No one wants to be mooched off of.

Believe it or not, this is not always true. My ex-gf of 2 years always got the next round every time i treated her to something. It's all about decency i think.

I was the same in my last relationship, it was fifty fifty

Seeker_2.0 said:

Believe it or not, this is not always true. My ex-gf of 2 years always got the next round every time i treated her to something. It's all about decency i think.

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The last time (a few months ago) I went on a date, it was a third date.
It was just for drinks and when the check came, I took it. The guy thanked me
and seemed genuinely surprised.
Everyone has different opinions on things like this. I've actually been out with men who seemed almost insulted that I offered to pay (or help pay). I guess it just depends on the person.
I don't think it's fair for anyone to EXPECT one party to pay for everything all the time or give gifts, etc. but if someone wants to do that, I think gratitude should be offered.

My last computer stopped working and had to wait to get a new one

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EveWasFramed said:

The last time (a few months ago) I went on a date, it was a third date.
It was just for drinks and when the check came, I took it. The guy thanked me
and seemed genuinely surprised.
Everyone has different opinions on things like this. I've actually been out with men who seemed almost insulted that I offered to pay (or help pay). I guess it just depends on the person.
I don't think it's fair for anyone to EXPECT one party to pay for everything all the time or give gifts, etc. but if someone wants to do that, I think gratitude should be offered.

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I always think of free dates. Therefore nobody has to worry about paying for anything. It will also weed out the ones looking for a free dinner.

The one who invites you out should pay. Once this guy I was dating for a while kept insisting we go try this fancy new restaurant even though I said I think it's a bit expensive(not to mention that I was poor as fresia, had other priorities, and he knew that), I gave in thinking he wanted to treat me to something nice, turns out he barely had any money and I had to pay for the whole thing myself.

Raingirl said:

The one who invites you out should pay. Once this guy I was dating for a while kept insisting we go try this fancy new restaurant even though I said I think it's a bit expensive(not to mention that I was poor as fresia, had other priorities, and he knew that), I gave in thinking he wanted to treat me to something nice, turns out he barely had any money and I had to pay for the whole thing myself.

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I think the same thing as well. I think you should be the one that drives as well.

I've never been much of a materialistic person. I grew up with nothing, and the only thing I have now is my truck (of course, you fresia with that and I'll you to shreds) but I've met a lot of people who are. Things don't much matter to me, but I've seen people complain that they have no money to buy food but they're wearing $200 jeans and $500 shoes because they can't let go of that image.

I have no problem paying for drinks or dinner. I wouldn't get offended if a women wanted to pay, but I've been that sort of guy - I like to spoil and open doors and make them happy. I don't expect it them to pay, but it's fine if that's what you want.

Maybe I spoiled my last (and first real one, I guess) girlfriend. It was really good at first. Maybe there was a little bit of showing off, but she actually seemed sort of happy and proud with me. But then she'd just take it and walk away or throw it out or break it if the mood fit her. She went quite psycho and violent at the end and I ended up more of a slave then a boyfriend but I weasled my way out of that one, anyway. Looking back now I think it was more of a true colours thing coming out. She got me in. She had a very low opinion of males. She was odd.

Sometimes I think maybe it's just a greed thing - a lot of people have no issue with taken advantage of someone else as long as they are getting what they want out of it. Sometimes maybe it's just the way you were raised - if you were are used to having everything go your way and getting what you want it's almost like an expectation.
Someone told me that I wouldn't ever catch a girl because I have nothing - again, aside from my truck which most of the time is my home in the summer - but we shouldn't have to rely on things to be happy with people; we should just be able to be happy with them as a person.

Depends with the level of affluence with the scene in question. The higher level, the more materialistic and frivolous it might take to win someone in that crowd.

The lesser affluent crowd may be less materialistic and more focused on individual capital or character to win someone over.

Overall the less you have to exploit about yourself, the less anyone would be interested in you. It's a fact of life as I know it.