Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Anyone else feel like they are always the one that doesn't belong?
#21
I can relate to a lot of what you said. I often try very hard (maybe too much really) and people always leave me...especially the ones who say they won't. It hurts incredibly but I don't know. That's just how things are. I always have hope because someday I know people will really see me and they will be the right people to be in my life.
#22
I've grown so accustomed to feeling like the outsider that I make it come true by the way I act.....just to get it over with. Bad habit. Must not do that anymore.
Contentment comes from within.  Do not seek it from outside yourself.

#23
Up until finding this site, I felt like I had fallen through a crack in the floor. I'm 34 - all my friends have either got their own businesses, travelling somewhere amazing or have a family. I cry out to them to lift me out but they've moved too far ahead to respond. As time moves on, my voice gets fainter and fainter...

..so I've decided to haul myself out, and becoming a member of this site is the start of my new journey Smile
#24
I've felt it a lot, most of my friends moved on and continued their lives without me. I have a few left but often feel like i'm wasting their time.
That's why I joined here and to be honest i'm glad I did, the people here are amazing and very supportive Toungue
"Do no evilness just because it's a small one; leave no good deed undone just because it's a petty one" - Liu Bei

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't Toungue
#25
Yep. Always feel like I don't fit in. Don't belong anywhere. Even when I get told to go here, do this, you'll fit in with people there, you'll make friends .... it never happens. I don't really consider myself so radically different from most people, nor do I consider myself unlikeable, but .... people just don't seem to like me. It's always been that way, but, the older I get the worse it seems to be. Or the worse I seem to feel it. Even online. In fact, I'd say that not fitting in online in some ways feels worse, since, it's like not fitting in to the whole world.
#26
Yeah I would say I don't fit in anywhere, but there are types of people that I do better around. But honestly I'm a scarred person, there's only so much time you can spent amongst people before the ptsd begins to kick in. I think it has to do with the demands that others inherently place on you.
I want to have my cake and eat it too...I want to be around others but I don't want their problems, their drama, their self-importance. I envy those who somehow manage to find others in their life who are solid, self-reliant, stable people.
I've managed to get through life by doing just enough to fit in and that's it. I'm not sure I'm going to make it much farther. I'm 34 and hoping to retire from American society by age 40.
#27
I think the worst loneliness I have ever felt, was last month when I had to tell my pre-op nurse that I would have no one to come and collect me after my operation, so they're having to arrange my overnight stay. If I had an accident with the anaesthetic, would anyone need to be alerted? Am concerned about getting home next day and dreading how lonely that's going to feel, likely in a ward filled with other patients receiving countless gifts and visits. So sick of feeling invisible. I know I'm a great person. Why do other people have 'group membership' meted out to them without them making any effort? I'm so tired of making effort I don't want to make. I'm tired of taking the lowest number of minutes on my mobile contract each month, because I don't need to make or receive many calls.
#28
I know this topic is a couple months old and I'm not sure if this person still hangs around here anymore, but I'm going to respond to it anyway.
(02-09-2015, 04:51 AM)DeadImaginaryFriends Wrote: I'm 21, and I feel like I have wasted my youth. The best years of my life are passing by.
No offense, but I honestly can't even take that seriously. You're 21 and you've already "wasted your youth" and your "'best years' are passing by"?
The only way I can really address this is with a stern "No words can express what I'm feeling right now..." stare. I wish they made a (non)smiley-face for that.

Let's face reality here, eh? Yes, it sucks to be lonely.
Yes, it sucks when your friend(s) leave (for whatever unnamed reason? And you can't keep in contact with them anymore?).
Yeah, it sucks to go to bed every night wondering if you'll ever meet someone.
Yeah, it sucks when you don't have any family (assuming you're not just one of 'those people' who completely forgets his/her family).
That's life. And I don't just mean YOUR life, that's pretty much EVERYONE's life. Everyone who ever even had a single friend or more, that is. Some people have had none.

Yeah, so maybe other people, some of them, have a tight group of friends, from high school no less, that often hang around the same area forever. That isn't actually as common as you might think, you know? I don't see what it really matters what 'some people' do or do not have in comparison to your life. 'Some people' are starving and don't have food or clean water, or anything even remotely close to a computer, like you do but is that really relevant right now? (Maybe it is: as a good way to get you to see some perspective on your life.)

But you know what you DO have? A very big chance at life.
A chance to enjoy your youth (and yes, you haven't wasted any of it yet, you're still 21!).
A chance to find yourself.
A chance to enjoy your free time and your days without obligations.
A chance to find someone and meet someone who you fall in love with.

You have so many opportunities, not even just because of your age, but including it, that you're just dismissing for no reason at all. You're basically just rejecting life itself because you're upset that you're losing a friend. And it seems you're kind of just being a little overly jealous of those few people who actually did have a group of friends they still hang around with and you're forgetting all the new experiences and new friends that you have the possibility to meet.
So please, don't sit here and tell us that you've wasted your youth away, nor your "best years", when you haven't even begun those things yet. It is distasteful and in some ways very disrespectful.
You just need to get yourself up and start seeing a more positive image. Start seeing reality for what it really is.
#29
It is not because you're only 21 you cannot feel worry, pain or loneliness.
Different ages, different worries. You can't tell someone not to worry or feel shit because you're at a different lifestage.
How can you tell him he's disrespectful when you don't know his whole story? I'm twenty and I feel like I lost my youth because of my illness and bullies. I feel like I never had a chance at being a real teenager. What's wrong with him being jealous over other people who did have friends? At this age, it's important to have friends! To be able to relate to people and be able to open yourself up.

Reality differentiates for everyone, Despicable me. This forum is for everyone, for every gender and every age. I'm so sick of younger people their problems be written off because they're still young. You know loneliness probably hurts just as much as a teenager and as an adult?
#30
(05-05-2015, 07:31 AM)Rainbows Wrote: It is not because you're only 21 you cannot feel worry, pain or loneliness.
Different ages, different worries. You can't tell someone not to worry or feel shit because you're at a different lifestage.
I didn't say that.

(05-05-2015, 07:31 AM)Rainbows Wrote: How can you tell him he's disrespectful when you don't know his whole story?
I don't need to know the whole story, I can only go by what he has said and what I heard was a little disrespectful.
And don't manipulate what I'm saying. It's not just disrespectful to others, it's also extremely disrespectful to himself. He is essentially throwing away something beautiful before he has even used it.
It's like book-booking. You are throwing away tons of information and education and ideas and beauty just because you're too ignorant to enjoy it yourself. It's disrespectful to so many people.

(05-05-2015, 07:31 AM)Rainbows Wrote: I'm twenty and I feel like I lost my youth because of my illness and bullies. I feel like I never had a chance at being a real teenager.
That's a lot different. Being "a teenager" is different than your "youth" and your "best years". So it's not exactly the same thing but you're equating it as if it were.

And maybe it applies to you, as well? I don't know, but if you're going to sit there and tell me you don't think you can enjoy the rest of your life or have so many better years ahead of you just because you're 20 and not found someone yet? I'm still going to tell you that you're being ridiculous and that you're ignoring all the many great things you've got right now.

(05-05-2015, 07:31 AM)Rainbows Wrote: What's wrong with him being jealous over other people who did have friends? At this age, it's important to have friends! To be able to relate to people and be able to open yourself up.
Being jealous of anything is neither productive nor advantageous. It's obviously just a lingering emotion of doubt and self-hatred. There's no reason why I should not tell people to get over that.

Furthermore, I got by just fine without friends in my 20's. And even assuming it's "important" to have them... You're only in your 20's! You still have so much time to find friends. Are you really trying to tell me it's not going to happen now just because you hit some arbitrary age-limit?

There's a reason I'm disregarding this mentality and it's precisely because it has no basis in reality. And I'm not saying you shouldn't feel lonely or you shouldn't feel miserable, but you definitely should be looking at the great things you have ahead in your life right now rather than looking backwards at the things you didn't have.
And why should you do that? Because you're lonely and you feel miserable right now, that's why. It will make you feel better, it will help you get out of that rut, and it will point you in the right direction.

But you don't 'have to' take my advice if you don't want. No one said you had to take it, did they? You decide for yourself if you want to be miserable and stay where you are, or if you want to take people's advice, and who's advice you want to take. That's your choice and it's your decision because it's your life. If anyone has told you any different than that, bullies or not, they were wrong.

(05-05-2015, 07:31 AM)Rainbows Wrote: Reality differentiates for everyone, Despicable me. This forum is for everyone, for every gender and every age. I'm so sick of younger people their problems be written off because they're still young. You know loneliness probably hurts just as much as a teenager and as an adult?
Complete and utter straw man argument.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straw_man

You're just being negative about what I said with no real understanding of the meaning or advice behind it. You've twisted my words, which is obviously disrespectful to me.

So with your age-ism rant, I'll note that:
"I'm tired of these young people disregarding the older people's advice just because they think older people can't relate or have good advice."
Anyone can do that, you know? So just quit it. Stick with what I really said and reply to that or just don't reply at all.


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Places you go to feel better Tealeaf 40 6,379 06-07-2019, 05:46 PM
Last Post: duracell
  Does anyone else feel this way? ITellYouHhwut 5 417 04-16-2019, 10:59 PM
Last Post: Richard_39
  How do you feel now compared to when you joined? jetsuo 93 18,360 03-15-2019, 12:52 PM
Last Post: HorseLatitudes
  I need help. I feel invisible to women. Tachyonprince 10 797 02-27-2019, 12:33 PM
Last Post: sriguhan
  Does anyone ever feel deprived of physical contact? hewhowalksalone 33 1,381 02-06-2019, 11:29 PM
Last Post: Jessicat
  I'm a sad, pathetic person who doesn't deserve a relationship Matt L 20 1,289 01-11-2019, 12:35 PM
Last Post: bearcat22
  I feel invisible SomethingOriginal 4 716 11-17-2018, 08:45 AM
Last Post: DeepTxWater
  i feel like im avoided as if im carrying a disease clover4you 8 1,412 10-04-2018, 08:48 AM
Last Post: TammyLynn1972
  I don't belong to anywhere lonelyfairy 11 1,724 09-27-2018, 12:59 PM
Last Post: sometimesthewolf
  Do i belong here? Anarchic Torchic 2 500 09-19-2018, 02:08 PM
Last Post: Saulgoodmanfan

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)