If you need to talk about something feel free to hit me up.
Or if you prefer written wisdom, I recommend, for a philosophy fan as yourself, Arthur Schopenhauer. I'm pretty sure you will love his work. It's especially good for negativity, he inspired Nietzsche.
I've had those day certainly enough. It's a scary thing. People will try to tell you "Oh, it's not worth it. There are things worth living for." but truthfully they dont know squat about how you feel at all so how would they know?
I just hope things get better for you so you don't have to feel that way anymore.