Feeling like I'm running out of time due to depression

When I've posted about these things on other forums or talked to people about it, they generally say something like "You're still young, you have plenty of time". This is true, theoretically. Theoretically, you could tell anyone they still have time, unless they are on their deathbed. But that's not really what bothers me.

My life is very hard to cope with right now. I feel my condition worsen every day. It feels like if I can't fix things soon, I might just end my own life during a mental breakdown. I've had PLENTY of close calls this year, and a few nights ago I had another one. Or, as my condition worsens, I might end up legitimately insane. I feel the beginnings. It's not affecting my life, but I spent far more time escaping reality than I used to, in increasingly elaborate fantasies. I wonder how long it will take for it to develop into a serious mental illness. I honestly thought if I couldn't make things better, I would have been lost it by now, but I'm still going.

I guess, to sum it up, sure, who knows what life will bring. In ten years, I might get lucky, find a nice job, friends, a girl. Be happy. But what if I don't survive the next ten years? Or what if I wait ten years and nothing happens, things just stay the same?

I'm honestly a bit scared about all this. I hope I make it.

I have a similar fear; You're not alone. I haven't found a perfect, ever-helping coping mechanism yet. What I do is to look for small sparkles of hope in present time or near future to keep myself going. If I only concentrate on negative outcomes when thinking about how my future will be in the big picture and where I will end up in life, the thought would shake up my hope. It's best to avoid it.

When you're more concentrated on immediate future, the scope of difficulties and failures you have to deal with lessens. You don't find your mind wandering off from reality much either.

Hope everything turns well for you in years ahead.

I escape reality into a fantasy too. I have made up a world in my head. mostly this world revolves around a few fictional people, and their interactions with each other. sometimes they have epic adventures, most times they just sit and talk to each other, comfort each other when one is hurt. although all this happens in my brain, i'm not a part of that world. it's more like a tv show that i watch. This must be a coping thing, The people in my imaginary world give each other the comfort and understanding that, I need in THIS world. I've done this as long as I've been alive. When i find myself spending too much time with my imagination, i have to tell myself to pay more attention to the real world. not the whole real world, not all the people in the real world, just MY real world. Reality scares me. Hell, i find reality to be f--king terrifying. But sometimes i can be brave enough. not to face reality, or stand up to it, but to just try to survive it. And by some miracle, 17 full fledged panic attacks later, i survive. and every time i do, i find myself feeling a little bit stronger and less scared.

Hairmonster12 said:

I escape reality into a fantasy too. I have made up a world in my head. mostly this world revolves around a few fictional people, and their interactions with each other. sometimes they have epic adventures, most times they just sit and talk to each other, comfort each other when one is hurt. although all this happens in my brain, i'm not a part of that world. it's more like a tv show that i watch. This must be a coping thing, The people in my imaginary world give each other the comfort and understanding that, I need in THIS world. I've done this as long as I've been alive. When i find myself spending too much time with my imagination, i have to tell myself to pay more attention to the real world. not the whole real world, not all the people in the real world, just MY real world. Reality scares me. Hell, i find reality to be f--king terrifying. But sometimes i can be brave enough. not to face reality, or stand up to it, but to just try to survive it. And by some miracle, 17 full fledged panic attacks later, i survive. and every time i do, i find myself feeling a little bit stronger and less scared.

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I thought I was the only one
I've been thinking about writing it too. My world becomes more complex with time; as well as the people that live on it.

When you feel down think of the one thing that brings hope to your heart. Grab on to that and try to avoid the negative thoughts, it will keep you going and it will help you find good in this world. There really isn't a perfect, ever-helping coping mechanism. Hope is the key though...if you can find a glimpse of it, it will help you keep going.