I'm cursed. I'm giving up.

[Leapfrog00]

I honestly don't know why I try. This whole year has been a disaster. Last year I was living with a narcissist. I ended up living on the street for a few months, then I was diagnosed with diabetes, and I broke my foot. I moved into an apartment with cockroaches, Gnats everywhere, and the floors are made of cement. I've written 7 books since last year, 4 as part of a book series, I know they probably suck. I can't afford to buy food, I don't feel well enough to work. My apartment is income based, but I'm soon going to be evicted because I can't get the floors clean or the bugs out of there, which I'm responsible for. I have no friends. I have no one. I should just give up, right? I'm cursed. I have no strength to do anything anymore. I'm sick all the time. My asthma is all flared up. I just found out I have sleep apnea. I'll be out on the street soon. think it's safe to say nothing is working out.

 

[TheRealCallie]

If you are renting, the bugs are NOT your responsibility, unless the lease says you are responsible for pest control. And if you can't afford food, how could you possibly be to blame?
Take a chance on one of your books. I seriously doubt they are as bad as you think. There are a lot of people here who love to read, perhaps one of them could give you some critique on them?

 

[okidoke]

When I read “I should give up” I try not to read it as “I should kill myself” but as “I should try something completely different” to which I subscribe. If things aren’t working out doing what you’re doing, do something different and see how that goes. Everything you are dealing with has been dealt with by others and conquered (or improved at least) so no reason that can’t be you as well. That’s amazing that you’ve written so much. I’d be happy to read your work.

 

[user 139760]

Okay, I was somewhat in a similar place a few years back and it was hard. I crashed like a faulty plane. I was stretching myself way too thin on too many fronts at the same time. Had to go back to basics. I don't know if my advice will be helpful, but I hope so. First off, if you look at everything globally, it'll seem insurmountable. Look smaller, concentrate on one thing at a time. First off, if you want to lessen the impacts of the rest, start with income. You need that to make the rest happen. If your books aren't working, get yourself a job. Any job will do, as long as it gives you some money to work with. Focus on that first.
Second, move if you can. Your place sounds like it's just piling on your stress. Instead of trying to pail out the water filling the boat, if you can, abandon ship. Use that incone to find yourself a modest place with less issues, if at all possible. If it's incone based (dunno which country you are) I assume it means it's gov funded. Fill in a demand for another appartment and list all the issues with it, bugs and everything. They have no choice but to do something about it, it's not your responsibility. Your health problems might also be tied to your living conditions, so you may knock two birds with one stone. If you can, I'd suggest living with someone temporarily. Roomate, family member, someone with issues who is him or herself looking for a roommate, etc. You can check local ads for those.

The rest will come, long as you focus on one thing at a time and build on it.
I hope it helps.