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On Grumpiness
#1
I'd like your input, please, Lonelies...

I am a grump.  Now, this needs to be placed in context.  I'm not angry, and I can be very polite and friendly to people (that's the way I was raised).  But my default mode is grumpiness and melancholy.  I'm not going to smile at you or gush over you just because you exist.  I won't be rude to you, but I just won't bubble fake bonhomie.   So I'd like to know I am not alone.  Any other grumps out there?
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#2
(12-16-2017, 04:53 AM)TheLoadedDog Wrote: I'd like your input, please, Lonelies...

I am a grump.  Now, this needs to be placed in context.  I'm not angry, and I can be very polite and friendly to people (that's the way I was raised).  But my default mode is grumpiness and melancholy.  I'm not going to smile at you or gush over you just because you exist.  I won't be rude to you, but I just won't bubble fake bonhomie.   So I'd like to know I am not alone.  Any other grumps out there?

I'd have to say it depends on my moments and moods.
I'm a pessimist, I believe, because being an optimist is just too much energy anymore. I'm usually the guy throwing the wry jokes or clowning around, but, depending on some days or events, don't look at me, don't smile at me, or I'll bark at you. Then tell you the governement is full of aholes lol

I think it's a right to have sometimes ;-)

I guess that would make me a part-time grump. I'll let you know in 15 years if I make it to full-grump status.
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#3
I have always been a Smiths and Joy Division type but recently I read CS Lewis The Great Divorce and am terrified of finishing up in some kind of eternal realm full of whiners. As a result I have turned to positive affirmation recordings, vermouth and sherry. I'm H. A. P. P. Y. I'm H. A. P. P. Y. I know I am, I'm sure I am, I'm H. A. P. P. Y.

https://barnardsvilleumc.files.wordpress...ivorce.pdf
No alarms and no surprises, please. 
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#4
My SO fits your description perfectly. I think our differences form a balance that makes us live in a kind of harmony. I love it. Nothing wrong with a passive grump Smile
“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”

“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”

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#5
I think a lot of grumpiness comes from not being completely happy and ok with the way things are going for you. Feeling like a lack of control. *shrugs*

I'm usually grumpy when I'm trying to concentrate and things or people keep distracting me. When my attention and thoughts are scattered while trying to focus on a specific task I can become very irritable.
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#6
kamya, you might be on to something. I'm not a happy person, and never have been, but that's not it. You nailed it, I think, when you talked about control. Being ...well.. serious.... is my way of being in control.

It works, but it has cost me dearly. It cost me my last relationship. We were chatting online, and she made a grammatical error, and I exploded over it. This to the point she spent two days in tears. I am REALLY not proud of this side of my personality. I can be toxic. I recognise this fact, but don't know how to fix it.
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#7
I have heard that the more controlled life people live, the grumpier they become.
________________________________________________________________
Smile   Toungue
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#8
I meant more in control. Like they have control over their own lives. When people don't feel like they have that they can be grumpy.
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#9
Underrated, to be honest.
Loneliness of spirit is discovered in our depths.
Sometimes, when we least expect it, loneliness freezes us.
Or perhaps it feels like the bottom dropping out of our being.
We feel incomplete, as if something important is missing.
We feel shaky and insecure inside, weak and 'clingy'.
Sometimes this gnawing deficiency makes us want to 'devour' others
—to get as much of them as possible,
to complete our egos by possessing them.
Or we might seek to be supported and protected by others.
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