Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
My dad irritates no matter what he says.
#1
Question 
Ok so this has been going on for a long time

I'm 13 and both my parents live together all normal and stuff. Me and my mom have a good relationship. 
Ok here lets put it like this, just to summarize my problem:
My mom says something and I answer with my normal voice and stuff.
My dad says the same thing and I just get so irritated, and I answer with a voice like I'm being tortured to talk or something.

For some reason I don't like my dad. Here are some possible reasons to why:

1- My dad acts like I can't defend myself and that I need some special care because apparently I have this reputation for being a cry baby when I was small and he thinks I still am. Like if my sister insults me (as a joke) he is always the first one to be like "don't say that about your sister, you know she is a hard working person she is not dumb, in fact she works more harder than you". It sounds so fake or like hes pushing it. But not like all supportive, like I'm some kid and he's trying to push back a bully or something. It may sound mean but I am not good at putting this in words. He also speaks for me. Like when my sister says something like "You don't even know how to answer that lol" And he is like "Yes she does, she knows what she is doing" before I can even say anything. This happens to my mom too, sometimes she tells him "I can speak for myself" when he does it, he acts like he knows all of us more than ourselves.

2- He asks the most useless questions ever which irritates me so much. Like we have a bunny at our house, and we normally leave out carpets so our bunny doesn't slide on the wood, and he says stuff like "Is the bunny out" when he is standing right on the carpets or when he is in the same room as the cage (meaning he can just check). Or when I'm eating, and he is the same room a she says "Are you finished" when he can clearly just look over and see if my plate is finished. I don't have more examples but it happens too often. My mom had a talk with me the other day and was like "he just wants to start a conversation with you because he is confused with you" But it still irritated me I don't know what to do about it.

3- He has anger problems. So when I open my closet the door for the closets is in touch with my entry door to my room. SO if you open my door when my closet is open, it clashes and makes a bang noise. Once my mom opened my door when my closet is open, and the I was like "moom knock!" and the next my dad opened the door and then I just got angry and I was like "Knock!!" and he screamed so loud. I have more but I can't think of any.

4- Ok so we watch this show called "Modern Family" together sometimes. And the most annoying thing is when they relate things that happened in the tv show to our lives, and mostly is bad stuff for me. (Backstory, my sister is way smarter than me and it pressures me). So in the show this girl says she got pressured my her more successful sister and my dad was like "Haha *laughs* because you say you get pressure" And I'm like in my head HOW IS THIS FUNNY. And it happens so much and it makes me feel so bad, and then I finally told him "please can you not relate this stuff into our lives" and he just got angry and started screaming.

5- He doesn't respect my mom. And this is one reason I started hating him as a kid, he treats my mom like sh*t. He compliments other women's figure and how my moms friend reduced some weight. And I feel like it makes my mom feel bad and then it makes me feel bad. And when my mom is sleeping he just wakes her up or put the TV so loud so he can watch when she is in the same room.

Well yeah, I need help. Whatever he says I get irritated. Sometimes I wish he isn't back from work or sometimes I don't want to go home to avoid him. My mom said my dad is confused to why I answer him those ways but I can't tell her why, and part of me doesn't know why. As a kid and now sometimes, I am a super paranoid person and I worry about certain things, and when I was small I would think my dad cheated on my mom because he didn't respect her. (Small not my parents are arranged marriage) and I thought that was the problem to why my dad can be mean to my mom but.
I get mad at him for no reason and I don't know why.
Reply
#2
It could be just typical teenage rebellion.  
Your dad could very well just be trying to start conversations with you.  It does sound like he's trying.  Is your sister actually mean to you or is she just joking around? 
I would say you have to figure out what you really have against your father and go from there.  Maybe talk to someone, whether it's a guidance counselor at school, your sister if you are on okay terms or even one of your parents.   
But honestly, from what you have said here, I think it is you making more out of the situations than you need to. A lot of teenagers do that. I did it too, when I was your age.
Want to talk?  Check out the CHAT ROOM Smile

Much like my signature....
[Image: 25-mnd977rsrs9uy2653fnzrt8zaqezie54jdqs6voa00.jpg]
Reply
#3
Yes, at your age it is very easy to feel irritated and uncomfortable about things your parents do, but your frustration is not completely superfluous. These are the very mild inconveniences that will teach you to handle actual pain and suffering in the future. My advice is breathing for a few seconds and asking yourself if it's something worth being irritated about, if it's worth ruining your day. 

In regards to the questions and defending you, it seems like your dad likes you a lot. Please don't complain about that. 
Also, being made fun of by a family member or friend just shows intimacy -- you should really think of comebacks and try laughing it off with him. 

In regards to your mom stuff, if you were concerned about actual abuse I'd advise you differently but these are day to day annoyances that you have no business getting in between. Your parents know each other better than you know them, what bothers you might not bother your mom,etc. Don't feel for someone who's in no way showing signs that they're suffering.
[Image: tumblr_nijo7fZHBz1qg20oho1_500.gif]
"Being young and dipped in folly, I fell in love with melancholy"
-Edgar A. Poe
Reply
#4
(05-15-2018, 04:40 AM)TheRealCallie Wrote: It could be just typical teenage rebellion.  
Your dad could very well just be trying to start conversations with you.  It does sound like he's trying.  Is your sister actually mean to you or is she just joking around? 
I would say you have to figure out what you really have against your father and go from there.  Maybe talk to someone, whether it's a guidance counselor at school, your sister if you are on okay terms or even one of your parents.   
But honestly, from what you have said here, I think it is you making more out of the situations than you need to. A lot of teenagers do that.  I did it too, when I was your age.

I know it might just be a phase, but it's hard to get through.
(Me and my sister joke around it's fine)
I'm not that good with opening up, last time I tried my mom got mad at me. 
I know he's trying and it makes me feel bad, I just don't know what to do, it's complicated. I act all nice and we have some conversations for a few days but then I get annoyed again.

(05-15-2018, 05:44 AM)DarkSelene Wrote: Yes, at your age it is very easy to feel irritated and uncomfortable about things your parents do, but your frustration is not completely superfluous. These are the very mild inconveniences that will teach you to handle actual pain and suffering in the future. My advice is breathing for a few seconds and asking yourself if it's something worth being irritated about, if it's worth ruining your day. 

In regards to the questions and defending you, it seems like your dad likes you a lot. Please don't complain about that. 
Also, being made fun of by a family member or friend just shows intimacy -- you should really think of comebacks and try laughing it off with him. 

In regards to your mom stuff, if you were concerned about actual abuse I'd advise you differently but these are day to day annoyances that you have no business getting in between. Your parents know each other better than you know them, what bothers you might not bother your mom,etc. Don't feel for someone who's in no way showing signs that they're suffering.

The thing about my mom. She sometimes tells me that she gets bothered by it but in a kind of "joking way". My parents considered divorce but they said we were still too young.
Sometimes when shes on the phone with her mom she crys about it but I can't do anything about that.
I'm not sure, I feel like it's a reflex for me to immediately think whatever my dad is saying is bad or idk.

I'm just irritated by his voice, I can;t explain it but.
Reply
#5
Don't blame your dad for the two of them not working out, for what you know his behavior might be acting up on the fact that they're not getting along.

If you must talk to someone about something, is telling your mother that if they're really not ok, it's better for you and your sister to have both parents happy but separated than both miserable together.
[Image: tumblr_nijo7fZHBz1qg20oho1_500.gif]
"Being young and dipped in folly, I fell in love with melancholy"
-Edgar A. Poe
Reply
#6
If you don't feel you can talk to him, what about writing him a letter? Tell him that you don't mind that you and your sister tease each other and that he doesn't have to intervene.
I think a more important conversation would be one with your mom. It kind of sounds like you are piggy backing off of what you think your mom is feeling and that could be why you are so irritated with your dad. Maybe you don't feel your mom is handling it right, so you are trying to jump in and "rescue" her, in a way.
But, I think it would be a mistake to assume it's all on your dad. Your mom is not perfect (no one is), so it wouldn't entirely be on your dad. Your mom needs to either stop discussing her issues or be a little better about hiding it.

Think about things more and write your dad a letter. Even if you don't give it to him, it might help.
Want to talk?  Check out the CHAT ROOM Smile

Much like my signature....
[Image: 25-mnd977rsrs9uy2653fnzrt8zaqezie54jdqs6voa00.jpg]
Reply


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  When you feel like you don't matter edamame721 11 2,229 02-05-2014, 03:15 PM
Last Post: Batman55
  Does a person's sexual past matter to you? Naleena 30 5,696 05-23-2013, 08:26 AM
Last Post: aspalas
  Younger, older or doesn't matter? TomTam 28 3,525 01-09-2013, 04:42 AM
Last Post: perfanoff
  Why does looks matter? Azariah 17 2,160 12-04-2012, 10:54 PM
Last Post: duff

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)