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Can People Love Each Other Equally?
#11
(08-29-2018, 09:30 PM)Sci-Fi Wrote:
(08-29-2018, 01:43 PM)ardour Wrote: No - because, sadly the majority of women are attracted to masculinity, and the less invested you are, the more masculine you appear. Conversely the more attached you become the less masculine appeal you have. Quite depressing really.

Stop with this bullshit, you won't be warned again.

A "warning" for an opinion?
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#12
As long as you love someone with an investment of wanting love in return, there will always be a mismatch.

What you expect is exactly what you are searching for, but from the wrong direction.
If you got what you expect, you get what you give. In other words, you experience the love you already giving.

It is not about being loved to feel loved. You are already love. It is about loving, and experience the joy and fulfillment of loving.
It is only when we love, from the heart, do we actually feel fulfilled, or even overflowing.

Forget about being loved from someone else. Just love them.
If they express love in return, don't love them for it, but love the love that loves you. At that moment love is mutual, but not needed.
This is sometimes referred to as unconditional love. And it is not a myth, but a turn around of perspective.

It does not matter if the other person does not express matched lovingness. You still love their love, no matter how small it is.
This sort of loving is true, and it awakens what is true in yourself and the other person. Relaing in the relationship becomes more inviting, because it is always done in a calm, soft, allowing, accepting, loving way.
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#13
I've thought about this before. I think on some level, it's bound to be unequal -- people will be more or less emotionally available, distracted, authentic, intimacy-seeking, appreciative, scared to be alone, or something else. People's lives just play out a little differently on the inside, even while they're together. The focus and desire won't always be 100%, or 75%/75%.

I'd be worried if I was seeing someone who could "take it or leave it", though. That sounds like the wrong person for the relationship entirely.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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#14
(09-04-2018, 07:08 AM)Tealeaf Wrote: I'd be worried if I was seeing someone who could "take it or leave it", though. That sounds like the wrong person for the relationship entirely.

This goes for anyone. If YOU'RE serious about someone and they say "They can take it or leave it", they don't share the same feelings. Or if you yourself feel that same way about someone, you probably shouldn't even be talking to them.

Friendship or otherwise, if you're this indifferent about someone, you don't care about them. That's my sentiment, anyway.
[Image: giphy.gif]
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#15
True that's it's unlikely to be equal all the time. The problem lies where it's a consistent pattern. Relationships require work and if you're the one putting most of the effort with someone who might very well end it at any moment there's going to be resentment.
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#16
I don't think men and women experience love the same. I have heard a lot of women say that they never knew love until they had children, and I don't think they were kidding. I don't blame women for looking out for #1 and their kids, it makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint, but I don't think they love in a illogical passionate way like men can, it's more like a calculation of what you provide for them and how if you improve their social status and their perceived quality of life. "Why do you like your man?" Then they give you a list of all the good stuff he has going for him and all the stuff he does for her; men have a more difficult time answering that question about their partner, they just say "because I do." It's like having a favorite rock, you can't explain why you like it, you just do.

That's my hot take anyways.
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