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Recently alienated when I tried to make friends via meetup.com
#11
(11-18-2018, 10:58 AM)Jessicat Wrote: On the day I was born
The nurses all gathered 'round
And they gazed in wide wonder
At the joy they had found
The head nurse spoke up
And she said leave this one alone
She could tell right away
That I was bad to the bone

*singing out loud* 😎

You can't sing that unless you're riding a bike, have a pair of dark sunglasses and a black leather jacket, have a bodybuilder physique and a suspisciously Austrian sounding last name.
 ;-)
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#12
Hah!
I’m rocking that song in my pink pajamas. 
😎🔥😎
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#13
I have noticed that some groups are horribly cliquey, and don't tolerate anyone being "out of line". It's like tribalism to the extreme. I try to avoid those because there are other open doors, anyway.

If it happens a lot, maybe the way you're phrasing things comes off as critical even if the message itself is harmless. People often listen to how things are said as much as what's said.

I do go to one Meet Up that's pretty nice, a book club. There's no Whatsapp group, but I like being able to drop in on a monthly basis and have good acquaintances at least.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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#14
Twiggy, I appreciate your words very much. Thank you. And yes, it did feel like 'mob-mentality'.

Tealeaf, the whatsapp group was actually started on the discussion page of the actual website. This girl put a message up stating that she was opening up a whatsapp group on her phone, and was inviting people to join. Just wanted to clear that up with you.

Smile
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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#15
(11-18-2018, 11:19 AM)Jessicat Wrote: Hah!
I’m rocking that song in my pink pajamas. 
😎🔥😎

PMSL x
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#16
(11-18-2018, 10:51 PM)Twiggy Wrote:
(11-18-2018, 11:19 AM)Jessicat Wrote: Hah!
I’m rocking that song in my pink pajamas. 
😎🔥😎

PMSL x

I'd like to profess my ignorance of english acronims; what does that mean? lol.
To stay in topic, I tried some meetup apps and group aps in the past. Was rather disappointed with the whole thing. I much prefer the old fashion way of just making new friends by a straight up talk, most of the time.
Though I'll admit, a North girl rockin' some Thoroughgood in pink pajamas would definetely be a conversation starter lol.
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#17
PMSL means Pissed myself laughing. Closely linked to ROFLMAO: Rolling of the floor laughing my ass off.

There yah go! 😜
Wish I had a good air guitar to go with the pink pajamas. Have to settle with epic singalong skills.
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#18
(11-18-2018, 08:30 PM)hewhowalksalone Wrote: Twiggy, I appreciate your words very much.  Thank you.  And yes, it did feel like 'mob-mentality'.

Tealeaf, the whatsapp group was actually started on the discussion page of the actual website.  This girl put a message up stating that she was opening up a whatsapp group on her phone, and was inviting people to join.  Just wanted to clear that up with you.

Smile

Another thought I had is, there can sometimes be an established group leader - so anything this person says or does, logical or not, kind or not, the rest will support and follow to ensure their place in the group.  


As I've got older I've noticed that each of us on occasion will hold some power over another at some time, at work or socially, maybe when someone approaches us for advice.  Some people handle this power responsibly with integrity and compassion - consider the feelings and perspectives of everyone involved, they see the bigger picture, are perceptive - meaning they can way up what has happened or what needs to happen very quickly and act in a way that shows respect and kindness; others don't handle this power well at all and use it for personal gains, their inner child acts out and they behave the way they do 'because I want to - because I can' and for no other reason, without considering others.  Its a 'reaction' from the ego, not the 'response' from a kind, caring adult - an extreme example would be the egomaniac, there's always a scale and if you experience a little ego from a person then chances are you could get the full blown version at any time too.   


Sadly, there are large numbers of adults who lack this emotional intelligence / maturity and when they make supervisor, they make work hell for everyone - I'm sure you have come across this person - because we have all had to suffer them.  Its good to be mindful of these types so you can avoid them, its a good way to get the measure of person - observe how they handle power.  
Sounds to me like you had a lucky escape here, because whoever started this witch hunt in this group will no doubt make it miserable for the followers again and again. Good luck with it, keep going because there are some great people out there, who will appreciate you and like you for being you - promise x
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#19
I don’t have much work experience since I got sick at a young age. I have however experience this corruption power can bring out in people because it’s etched in my bones to be a follower. 
Some people with this power will make every day an opportunity to lift you higher and nurture the best inside of you. Others will corrupt you and make you regret even existing. It can be done in complete cover of darkness without me even noticing, until it’s devastating to get up on my feet again.
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#20
I've had a blend of both - first job I had, the management was terrible and they took the 'customer is always right' policy to the point where they neglected their staff and ignored times when customers were being genuinely unfair. But in my second job (which was actually the job I had just lost) the management were very compassionate and caring. This was evident when I was being made redundant - I could tell that my then boss hated having to tell me that she had to let me go. My bosses at Tesco would have just said 'we have to let you go', thrown my redundancy letter in my face, and pointed towards the door - I'm glad I took power and left that place before it crushed my spirit any further.

As for the girl who ran the whatsapp group - she was no different to a child playing 'tea party' with her friends.

Thanks guys for your words. I have seen more mature wisdom on this forum in the past week than I had on that whatsapp group in the month I was on it.
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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