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#21
So tell me then....how do you expect to find anyone to love and care about you if you hide away from the world in your negative ass perspective of all things life and people? How do you expect to meet anyone if you don't go out and do things like, oh, I don't know....HOBBIES? How do you expect to find anything you want at all when all you can do is tear down women and people who side with women over your bullshit generalizations about "the fairer sex"?
Oh and a "goal" can also be about meeting more people and getting friends and people who could possible eventually love you.
Seriously, maybe stop looking at the world with your shit colored glasses on and get a clue, dude.
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#22
yes, beat that depression, God is Greater than your problems. don't let the problems consume you but see what you can do to overcome those problems, it might benefit you in the long run if you have a little bit grateful for what you are today. everybody got problems, life is a test. try to be positive thinking.
must be me right?  Cool

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#23
Quote: So what I mean to say is that life has essentially been ruined for me now. Everything in it has been ruined.
Not really. First hand experience here. 
This is just a turning point.


Quote:  I’m just waiting until my mom gets back to good health before I disappear and kill myself. I can kill myself so easily without hesitation now. I have no desire to live, and I’m dying to be dead. I don’t hold onto life. That instinct is gone. 

You don't have the right to kill. Neither yourself, not someone else. You shouldn't destroy what you can't create.


Quote: I’m a loving man.
Can you explain the term, "love" ?


Quote: I get the idea they not only care nothing about me, but actively despise me.
They can't care about you. Men and women, love differently.



Quote: I get told every which was it’s my fault. It’s my attitude. It’s my outlook. Etc... But dare I ever suggest that women play some role. Get ready to have my rights read to me.

I don't think its your fault. But its your responsibility. You have the most complex neurological system ever. An intelligence that surpasses all other species. You have the ability, to move beyond the basic instincts of life. You are giving up on life way too easily.
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#24
(12-05-2019, 09:13 PM)TheRealCallie Wrote: So tell me then....how do you expect to find anyone to love and care about you if you hide away from the world in your negative ass perspective of all things life and people?  How do you expect to meet anyone if you don't go out and do things like, oh, I don't know....HOBBIES?  How do you expect to find anything you want at all when all you can do is tear down women and people who side with women over your bullshit generalizations about "the fairer sex"?  
Oh and a "goal" can also be about meeting more people and getting friends and people who could possible eventually love you.  
Seriously, maybe stop looking at the world with your shit colored glasses on and get a clue, dude.

Let’s say I accepted everything you said here. Then I straightened myself up, and after a while, decided to start seeking women. 

Ok great. What women? Where? There simply aren’t any single/available women. I’ve never met a single one I don’t think. It puzzles me where people find their partners. I’ve yet to unravel that one. It’s like some life hack everyone else has figured out that is wholly lost on me. I remain convinced there are no single women. I’ve asked women out before. I’ve approached them. They’re never single.

Plus, like I’ve said, I don’t care to anymore either. I’ve been done for some time now.
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#25
Been to meetups, running groups. Usually if there's any women within 10 years of your age they'll be wary and aloof. Just like it is at work. One woman at the photography meetup just about ran once she realized I was catching a train (as if I were going to jump on her train and follow her home). There's no appropriate opportunity to find out if any of these women are single let alone ask them out. The conversation is usually surface level if it happens at all. It just doesn't get to the point where it's socially acceptable to take it any further. But yeah, HOBBIES!
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#26
Every night I lay down to go to sleep, and I ponder this very topic. It truly is surreal that I’ve not had the first contact with women in my whole life. What is even more surreal is the reality starting to sink in that there really is no hope of it ever happening for me at this point. All things considered, my utter lack of ability to attract women, the way the world is today, being out of touch. It is starting to look like I’m doomed.
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#27
Didn't some girl give you her number this year, and then you flipped out on her because she said she was having a family emergency? So clearly she had to be blowing you off?

I only bring this up, because you seem to have forgotten that you do have some culpability because of how you treat women, and not all women are as repulsed by you as you seem to think... Or she never would have given you her number, let alone a real one.

Btw, I've said the same thing, many times. "After this year, if nothing changes, I'm ending it." The thing is, nothing changed, because I didn't change. I still haven't changed that much, just enough to where I don't want to kill myself anymore. You sound like you hate yourself, and I really don't believe that you feel that way because of genetics, or women, or cultural differences. Though I'll admit, this probably does happen less often in cultures that place a higher importance on family values. That's really beside the point though.
I don't know if you've ever seen a therapist, but maybe your last year is a good time to give it a shot.
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#28
(12-05-2019, 04:30 PM)ITellYouHhwut Wrote: People seem to always think in this axiomatic way when thinking about depression or unhappiness. They think “well, you’ve got this going for you, you’ve got that, and this other thing. Why are you depressed?” People seem to always miss the point with depression. It has nothing to do with things being okay or things working out fine. Rather, a lot of times it stems from loneliness, dissatisfaction, fear/dread, etc... For me, life is not about “goals”, as one of the commenters stated. Not even remotely. Life, to me, is about people, family, and having a purpose that transcends your so-called “goals” or occupation. Like, once again, family/loved ones, your people, your culture, your heritage, etc... Feeling wanted/loved is crucial to having purpose. Some of us, especially men, are finding ourselves more and more completely without options for finding love. You can’t just think “getting hobbies” and “finding happiness by ourselves” is going to work, as is always the advice. This advice is simply ignorant. Finding a romantic partner, being wanted by the opposite sex, etc... These are crucial to our mental/emotional well being. This is why the advice always seems obtuse, and obscurant. It’s almost like people are gaslighting us. Telling us it isn’t important when it most certainly is.

Yep. Got to agree that feeling loved is important. We all have different goals in life, and even the goals we might have the same will probably be different priorities to each individual. Shits me no end when people try to tell you that you should put this goal before that one, or that a certain goal shouldn’t be important. Really feels like they are just transferring their priorities on to someone else, and expecting them to follow blindly. 

Same goes for when people mention to get hobbies. Yeah. Thanks. You aren’t parting with some super special secret there you know. Have got heaps of hobbies. Too many really, it feels like never have time to do all of them as much as I would like to. But none of them have lead, or even helped, in meeting anyone. Not even in going to groups and clubs about them. Hobbies are just even more time alone for me. 

All I want really is someone to share things with. Have a connection with. When people say finding happiness by ourselves, in ourselves, well, I went down that path for a long, long time, and found, like I just said, that I just want someone to share things with. But I was told that people thought I was happy being alone. I guess I have since found out that what they really meant was that they were happy for me to be alone, because, although I am happy with who I am, I am not happy being alone all the time.
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