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Lonely in Lone Tree
#1
Sad 
Hi all,
I'm new here but could use some advice/comfort.  I'm 40 years old, married to a wonderful woman, have 2 dogs, live in Iowa.  My wife and I are having issues and she won't even touch my hand or put her hand on me for any reason.  She spends her time either on the phone or with her guy friends over an hour away.  We are in couples counseling now and I hope it works.  I'm just here to meet some people who might be able to give me some tips on not being lonely.  BTW one of our cars died so I can't go anywhere and Lone Tree is 20 minutes by car to the city.  I'm so sad Sad

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#2
Ouch! We'll the basic way is to stay busy. It's time to hobby up. When you find a hobby you are really interested in then you'll be able to get on forums about that and socialize with them.
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#3
(08-06-2020, 11:47 PM)Finished Wrote: Ouch! We'll the basic way is to stay busy. It's time to hobby up. When you find a hobby you are really interested in then you'll be able to get on forums about that and socialize with them.

I do some wood burning as a hobby, but I'm not very good at it.  Thanks for the reply!

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#4
(08-06-2020, 11:52 PM)Roadieb Wrote:
(08-06-2020, 11:47 PM)Finished Wrote: Ouch! We'll the basic way is to stay busy. It's time to hobby up. When you find a hobby you are really interested in then you'll be able to get on forums about that and socialize with them.

I do some wood burning as a hobby, but I'm not very good at it.  Thanks for the reply!

Perfect! You can spend hours and hours online checking out all the different tools and methods, watching YouTube videos, and reading wood burning / wood working forums. It could take years or decades to perfect the art. Hopefully you can stay focused. Luckily I can stay focused on my hobbies. I stay VERY busy. There isn't enough time. I loose days and sometimes weeks very easily. I'm tired at night too. When my head hits the pillow I'm fast asleep.
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#5
Hi Roadieb,welcome to the forum.Did you feel this lonliness when you were getting on better with your wife?
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#6
(08-07-2020, 04:54 PM)Just Games Wrote: Hi Roadieb,welcome to the forum.Did you feel this lonliness when you were getting on better with your wife?

Hi thanks for the reply.  No, I didn't feel lonely when she was feeling good and not being very cold towards me.  Then our 10 year anniversary in late May and it changed after that.  I'm just devastated.
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#7
(08-06-2020, 11:33 PM)Roadieb Wrote: Hi all,
I'm new here but could use some advice/comfort.  I'm 40 years old, married to a wonderful woman, have 2 dogs, live in Iowa.  My wife and I are having issues and she won't even touch my hand or put her hand on me for any reason.  She spends her time either on the phone or with her guy friends over an hour away.  We are in couples counseling now and I hope it works.  I'm just here to meet some people who might be able to give me some tips on not being lonely.  BTW one of our cars died so I can't go anywhere and Lone Tree is 20 minutes by car to the city.  I'm so sad Sad

Sorry for what you are going through.  Have you brought this up in counseling, about how lonely you feel? And the intimacy of touch, maybe ask why she doesn't want to touch you while you're with the therapist.  Counseling is most beneficial when there is honesty. It may hurt to talk about it, but it is necessary to work it out and move forward.  Maybe make a point to go with your wife when she goes to hang out? Sometimes focusing on each other can create surprising effects in a relationship.  Prayers for wisdom and guidance for you both.
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#8
Welcome to the forums Roadieb. It sounds like a pretty difficult time. I hope the couples counseling proved to be helpful. The fact that she is willing to go sounds positive. In the mean time, as Finished said, try to distract yourself with you wood burning and of course you can always come here if you find any distraction or anything here.
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#9
(08-07-2020, 11:04 PM)Roadieb Wrote:
(08-07-2020, 04:54 PM)Just Games Wrote: Hi Roadieb,welcome to the forum.Did you feel this lonliness when you were getting on better with your wife?

Hi thanks for the reply.  No, I didn't feel lonely when she was feeling good and not being very cold towards me.  Then our 10 year anniversary in late May and it changed after that.  I'm just devastated.

Hey Roadieb.Sorry what your going through.As others have said great idea couples counselling and great that your wife is taking part.I had a bit of a crap time in my fourties ,not getting on great with the wife but it is possible to pull back from the brink and live a good married life.Anyway stick around plenty of good helpful people on here to talk to.I did and got help with all sorts of things to do with my kids.It may be a tad quiet at the moment but it picks up occasionally so sure you'll benefit .All the best.
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