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So bored it hurts...
I used to come to this forum under a different name, then I left and did stuff in my life, like getting married and moving to Brasil. Now I am living here... and... well, I am young, 22 years old, I have a good wife, I am smart, and her family takes care of me. I also work at a nice school teaching english and have made a few nice friends here where I work.

But, I am completely bored. I am so bored I want to kill myself. Everything is so totally pointless and meaningless. Everything I used to enjoy now no longer holds any kind of entertainment value. People are predictable, and talk about all of the same shit all the time. Life is repetetive and nothing is new under the sun. Everything we do is absurd and pointless, and nothing is new. I am so sick of it. The worst part of it all though, is that I want relief. Some stupid part of me wants to continue living in the hope that this will cure itself, or I will find some answer. But this is foolish, it's the survival mechanism in my brain trying to invent some bullshit excuse to keep me from offing myself.

Please, someone here give me something to think about.

Fair warning though, it better not be some stupid cliche bullshit such as:

1) You'll go to hell. (There is no such thing, grow up.)

2) You're just depressed and you're not thinking clearly. (We are all depressed all the time, despair is a normal state of being, and I am thinking *quite* clearly.)

3) Other spiritual pseudo-intellectual bullshit.

I need a reason. Something. I know life is meaningless and that in its current state, the world has nothing new to offer me. Nothing will change this. I spend hours every day fantasizing about the world ending or a post apocolyptic world coming about and driving around like Mad-Max acting primal and savage... Something like this.

And no I'm not emo.

You'll go to hell.
You're right. Life is absurd. However, that part of you that wants to carry on isn't stupid, because life is all we've got. Maybe it is all meaningless, maybe not (not like we can know), but since we're here, we might as well make the most of it.

You've got a great wife and job and friends. Live in the moment. There doesn't have to be a point to what you choose to do in the so called "grand scheme" of things. Make your own reasons. As long as it matters to you, it matters.

These are just how I see things. I'm not very good at putting my thoughts into words, so I don't know how much sense it makes to you haha.

Oh, and maybe you should write a short story on that post apocalyptic world. Might as well since you're thinking about it all of the time.
You walk down Alameda
Looking at the cracks in the sidewalk
Thinking about your friends
How you maintain all them in a constant state of suspense
For your own protection over their affection
"Everything we do is absurd and pointless, and nothing is new."

OK, really though? Obviously lots of things aren't pointless - scientific discovery, great art, love. Saying everyone's depressed is bollocks as well.

Listen: if you get into the existential stuff, why not read the existentialists? They talk about the absurdity of living in a world without God, but they also provide heroic standpoints, reasons for being, and making some sort of sense of it all.

Why aren't you reading a book if you're bored? What do you really think is the best anyone on an online forum is going to offer you in terms of profundity, compared to Schopenhauer or Kierkegaard?

And I'm going to have to go with 2.) on this one. Yes, you are thinking clearly, but I too see things most clearly when DEPRESSED, which is what you clearly are. The boredom is merely a sense of ennui, and you're going to have to rely on greater stimuli than some comments here to get yourself out of it. Things are much clearer in black and white, which is what depression gives you, but just because it's clearer doesn't mean it's TRUE.
I understand what your going through, been there myself. It takes time for changes to come about there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Well, here's a question for thought.

If everything we do is meaningless, then what is 'meaning', and what would be meaningful?
[Image: 34qpcte.png]
It feels like I've been here before
Here to where the animals lay down to die
So we stood alone on a distant shore
Our broken spirits in rags and tatters...


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