DiscoSpider
Well-known member
Hi. First time poster and er... new member I suppose.
I've been reading a lot of the threads on this forum and it's shown me that... the problem I have is a lot more common than I think. At felt like I was the only one but... wow how very wrong I am.
I'm twenty four years old and I've never had a girlfriend or an intimate relationship of any kind (not even a kiss, ha ha). Now, this is going to sound very dodgy but... I believe that saying "the longer you wait, the harder it gets" is absolutely true, does anyone else agree?
A lot of my friends have told me that I have/had "ugly duckling syndrome". When I was in high school, I was very overweight and unfit, did not have many friends and was bullied... a lot. A few years after high school though, I took up martial arts and self defense as a hobby and sport and ended up losing so much weight, getting very fit and completely changing how I look. It's a very surreal and kinda "wtf" feeling when people, even your own friends, start noticing you in a different light.
What's funny is back when I was younger (fat, unfit etc), if I told someone "I've never had a girlfriend" they would often respond "Yeah fair enough" or "I see", as if completely unsurprised. Nowadays if someone hears that I haven't had a girlfriend before, it's like blasphemy! They usually freak out.
I think my problem is... despite looking completely different, on the inside I am still the same fat, shy and insecure kid I was once. I have a lot of trouble talking to girls. Well... talking to girls (as a friend/individual) is easy, but talking to someone who I am attracted to and have feelings for, that's so hard! Especially when I try to express myself and tell them how I feel. I also often get "friend zoned"... the only girls who have expressed themselves toward me are usually girls I have zero attraction to (not just physical but personality as well) and they are usually extremely forward to the point of being creepy...
I guess bottom line... I see couples and happy people everywhere and I'm getting a bit tired of still being single.
I guess the first thing is... anyone have any advice on how to avoid being put in the friend zone? And secondly... what can I do to stop being so **** shy and start being more confident - to mentally become the person I have physically become?
Any help and advice would be appreciated.
I've been reading a lot of the threads on this forum and it's shown me that... the problem I have is a lot more common than I think. At felt like I was the only one but... wow how very wrong I am.
I'm twenty four years old and I've never had a girlfriend or an intimate relationship of any kind (not even a kiss, ha ha). Now, this is going to sound very dodgy but... I believe that saying "the longer you wait, the harder it gets" is absolutely true, does anyone else agree?
A lot of my friends have told me that I have/had "ugly duckling syndrome". When I was in high school, I was very overweight and unfit, did not have many friends and was bullied... a lot. A few years after high school though, I took up martial arts and self defense as a hobby and sport and ended up losing so much weight, getting very fit and completely changing how I look. It's a very surreal and kinda "wtf" feeling when people, even your own friends, start noticing you in a different light.
What's funny is back when I was younger (fat, unfit etc), if I told someone "I've never had a girlfriend" they would often respond "Yeah fair enough" or "I see", as if completely unsurprised. Nowadays if someone hears that I haven't had a girlfriend before, it's like blasphemy! They usually freak out.
I think my problem is... despite looking completely different, on the inside I am still the same fat, shy and insecure kid I was once. I have a lot of trouble talking to girls. Well... talking to girls (as a friend/individual) is easy, but talking to someone who I am attracted to and have feelings for, that's so hard! Especially when I try to express myself and tell them how I feel. I also often get "friend zoned"... the only girls who have expressed themselves toward me are usually girls I have zero attraction to (not just physical but personality as well) and they are usually extremely forward to the point of being creepy...
I guess bottom line... I see couples and happy people everywhere and I'm getting a bit tired of still being single.
I guess the first thing is... anyone have any advice on how to avoid being put in the friend zone? And secondly... what can I do to stop being so **** shy and start being more confident - to mentally become the person I have physically become?
Any help and advice would be appreciated.