TheSolitaryMan
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Okay, this will sound ridiculous, but I figured I'd throw it out there.
In the past I've mentioned my shyness about rude stuff in public company, how I'm pretty naive about relationships and so on.
But there's another thing I've started noticing that I thought would be interesting to talk about. Girls seem to be kind of...scared by my niceness? And perhaps my maturity too.
I don't mean this boastfully in the slightest, but I've always felt more mature than my age. This actually seems to be kind of a disadvantage at the moment.
I had a brief chat with someone in a PM, and it was mentioned that nice guys sort of "bore" some girls, but I don't think that's always the case.
It's more like I'm "too nice" or even "too good" for them to consider for a relationship right now, odd as that sounds. They seem to realise I'm a pretty nice guy, perhaps even a good boyfriend, then make a conscious decision to get close-but-not-too-close to me in favour of someone a little more manic and detached.
Does that make any sense? It's just like a vibe I've been getting from girls for a while, I can't really explain it easily.
As an example, there's a group of girls (and some guys) in my class I'm befriending at the moment, linked to my previous thread about my (old) crush.. They're keen for me to hang out with them and try to include me in stuff they do, plus they seem to enjoy my company so I'm pretty sure I'm not boring them.
They're pretty much all sleeping around with various people and so on so they're different from me in that aspect. They're all around my age too.
However, their conversations...surprise me. The topics go in this seemingly circular loop. Sex --> work --> sex --> more sex --> sex in graphic detail --> sexual boasting --> work --> sex.
The funny thing is, they get sort of protective of me while discussing all this, even apologising for being so rude. I can joke around about it, but I can't help thinking sometimes "Jeez, am I the only one who finds all this really childish?"
Three people in the group started interrogating another member on whether her pubic hair was currently shaved or not, and I started to feel more than a little bit out of place. Unfortunately, almost everyone my age at the moment seems to talk like this.
Anyway, that's the weird rift in maturity I'm experiencing (or at least that's what I assume it is).
On top of that, as I first mentioned, I don't know if girls are kind of worried anything with me will be "too serious" or what, but they frequently seem attracted, then it's like they decide I'm really "cute", "sweet" or "nice" and develop this sort of sisterly thing with me.
Then they go and start having random sex with some guy who loves talking about pubic hair over lunch!
I'm not bitter or anything, I don't want casual sex anyway, I'm just so confused about how people perceive me. I feel like the only person not into chatting about this kind of stuff regularly.
Gah, I've typed all this and I still don't think I've made the point I was trying to. It's such an odd feeling to explain. I'm not being "friend zoned" or any of that crap, quite the contrary, it's like girls are saving me up for the future or something while they "go crazy" in the present.
I guess I'll see what the replies are like and try to communicate better, sorry if this came across as drivel!
In the past I've mentioned my shyness about rude stuff in public company, how I'm pretty naive about relationships and so on.
But there's another thing I've started noticing that I thought would be interesting to talk about. Girls seem to be kind of...scared by my niceness? And perhaps my maturity too.
I don't mean this boastfully in the slightest, but I've always felt more mature than my age. This actually seems to be kind of a disadvantage at the moment.
I had a brief chat with someone in a PM, and it was mentioned that nice guys sort of "bore" some girls, but I don't think that's always the case.
It's more like I'm "too nice" or even "too good" for them to consider for a relationship right now, odd as that sounds. They seem to realise I'm a pretty nice guy, perhaps even a good boyfriend, then make a conscious decision to get close-but-not-too-close to me in favour of someone a little more manic and detached.
Does that make any sense? It's just like a vibe I've been getting from girls for a while, I can't really explain it easily.
As an example, there's a group of girls (and some guys) in my class I'm befriending at the moment, linked to my previous thread about my (old) crush.. They're keen for me to hang out with them and try to include me in stuff they do, plus they seem to enjoy my company so I'm pretty sure I'm not boring them.
They're pretty much all sleeping around with various people and so on so they're different from me in that aspect. They're all around my age too.
However, their conversations...surprise me. The topics go in this seemingly circular loop. Sex --> work --> sex --> more sex --> sex in graphic detail --> sexual boasting --> work --> sex.
The funny thing is, they get sort of protective of me while discussing all this, even apologising for being so rude. I can joke around about it, but I can't help thinking sometimes "Jeez, am I the only one who finds all this really childish?"
Three people in the group started interrogating another member on whether her pubic hair was currently shaved or not, and I started to feel more than a little bit out of place. Unfortunately, almost everyone my age at the moment seems to talk like this.
Anyway, that's the weird rift in maturity I'm experiencing (or at least that's what I assume it is).
On top of that, as I first mentioned, I don't know if girls are kind of worried anything with me will be "too serious" or what, but they frequently seem attracted, then it's like they decide I'm really "cute", "sweet" or "nice" and develop this sort of sisterly thing with me.
Then they go and start having random sex with some guy who loves talking about pubic hair over lunch!
I'm not bitter or anything, I don't want casual sex anyway, I'm just so confused about how people perceive me. I feel like the only person not into chatting about this kind of stuff regularly.
Gah, I've typed all this and I still don't think I've made the point I was trying to. It's such an odd feeling to explain. I'm not being "friend zoned" or any of that crap, quite the contrary, it's like girls are saving me up for the future or something while they "go crazy" in the present.
I guess I'll see what the replies are like and try to communicate better, sorry if this came across as drivel!