michael in glasgow said:
Neither of you should be so arrogant as to assume you have the only answers to loneliness.
For what it's worth askal has a valid point. I have been severely depressed in the past and could not move on until I forgot about romance, love and relationships.
Well, of course i am sorry for how this turned out, as well. This is what i was afraid of but didn't care to avoid since my passion for helping and strong believes that the
way Askal described his way of getting better could be
very bad to a young, lonely person who wouldn't know better if they actually went through with it. As i wrote in the other thread were i barked at Askal, i admit that his way of doing it wasn't a bad one,
if You realize it by Yourself. Heck, forgetting is a huge part of the way
i did it too, but he simply posts a one-note letter in which he suggest that the one's reading it should
stop trying to look for friends and that there are no such thing as a dream-partner. You'll have to excuse me, but that is the most horrible advice i ever could think of! Ignoring that You are lonely can be a must for some people, but telling people so arrogantally which Askal did that the very thing they are hoping for, friends and love, is something You neither need nor doesn't
exist? You have to agree with me that this isn't the way You should try to help everyone at once by posting in a thread saying "Feeling lonely? No friends? Then click this thread!!" ? I was worried for the younger one's here to follow something so blindly without individual treatment, especially since Askal is an intelligent, well-suited for a forum, kind of guy.
Elaeagnus said:
Personally, I think you both need to understand that everyone is an individual, and that the solutions you used to get over your loneliness are your own solutions. They will not work for other people. They may provide guidelines or starting points for some people to work from, but they cannot and will not be exactly what anyone else needs.
First of all, the methods that i describe to get better from a depression is far from only being my own, made up theories. There's as much widely known mental healthcare treatments in my trying-to-help posts as there are notes of what i have realized myself. I didn't come here to brag about how "learned" i am about lonelyness and depression; i came here to help because i have done so for five years (even while i was depressed myself), managed to succeed in getting him or her back on track every time i have tried simply because i won't stand down until the person get optimistic again and really know what i'm talking about. One of the main reasons i ever were depressed is because of how little i care about myself and spend time helping others in so many ways. I only, ONLY, write from my heart when i start typing to some lost soul for a couple of hours and i couldn't have been more conscent with myself for doing it.
And, by the way, the reason i keep this rather haughty personality going whenever i try to help someone here is to try to show this person that even a five years deeply depressed, suicidal, nerd can have an as high self-esteem as anyone, without being an idiot. If i would have shown myself as another sad, low self-esteem-figure infront of the people i wanted to help it wouldn't have been as obvious to them that it is possible to get out of the depression.
I have once posted in a thread here which i surely weren't fit to debate in since i weren't nearly as experienced as the others with that matter. Other than that time i have only written posts within threads i was sure i could help a little in an as polite, accurate and
individual way as i possibly could to try and help as much as possible, that's why i can sit for several hours to one person. If You see me as a person who
don't understand that the treatment of a depressed person is individual You have clearly not read through half of what i have written, or simply missed out some parts; i have written before that even though how simple us "cured" and just-here-to-help kind of folks see our own methods of getting better is, we must be very legible when we present it to someone and write very individually.
I am on Your side. I'm saying that
Askal is a little out in the blue by posting this thread i'm talking about, suggesting that people should do this and that and not writing anything individual at all, but to himself. I always try to see everyone's ideas and philosophies from other person's minds as well; especially the younger one's. I remember how gullable and vulnerable i was when i was in my mid-teen depression i didn't want anyone to stop following their heart just to climax some endorphines for the rest of their lives...
I were merely trying to make this thread a little more logical to the one's who might wonder of what Askal was talking about, for
his sake. However, You have my word that i won't post anything which can be entirely written within a PM rather than in a thread, ever again.