brickinthewall
Well-known member
Been quite a while since I have last posted , most of you probably don't remember me by now.
The reason for which I included "sort of" is...well I'll talk about that later.
When I first joined this forum (maybe 2 years ago?) I was kind of a total mess. I had just finished high school and had big plans to attend med school.Due to various reasons , most being from my own fault I failed the exam so I decided to stay home , study and try again next year. This was the year from 2010-2011 , without a doubt the worst year of my life.
To elaborate , I had lost all of my friends since they all went to university (more importantly , I hardly had any friends and I didn't have anyone I was really close to). Basicly my year passed by with me not doing anything then studying (half assed) and staying in the house. Yes , that's all that I did. I'm pretty sure weeks went by without speaking to anyone, except my father.
Somehow , it passed and thus came the med school exam , which I failed , again. After that followed a few days of very very severe depression but , stubborn as I am , I decided I wouldn't give up and hard as it might have been I stayed home for another year.
Now what I didn't mention until now that I'm not very satisfied with myself. I despised myself , I was fat , I couldn't stand looking in the mirror. I was rather overweight , I weighed around 116-117kg (even though I'm rather tall , 1.92 , I was still very fat).
During my time of depression after the exam a former classmate from middle school (I think that's what you call it in english) decided to look me up , we were great friends then but kind of went different directions in high school. He told me he had heard about what happened. (Long story short , before the exam we talked and I told him I want to join a gym to lose weight, I figured he would be the best person to ask seeing that he has been an athlete and is currently studying nutrition).
And after my exam we talked , he said he had called me so that we could go to the gym together , obviously after my failure I didn't want to hear of it. Lucky for me , he is more stubborn then I am and just got me out of the house and took me to the gym (sort of against my will lol).
It was hard at first , I was very shy , would hardly talk to anyone and would just mind my own business. I was ashamed of being fat , until I realized that there really was no reason to be ashamed of.
We went to the gym almost every day , until the summer ended and he had to leave to university. Then began the harder part, I had to go by myself. Somehow , no idea how , I got myself together and started going alone. There I met some amazing people whom I will never ever forget, people who supported me and my dreams all year long. I even fell in love there with the most amazing girl ever. Sadly for me , most likely nothing will come of it (long story again but I won't go into it).
The year somehow passed again , I took going to the gym and studying for my exam really seriously (although , could have been better). In July I passed the exam and will be starting medical school in October. I currently weigh 92kg (from 116) and I am in a shape that I never even dreamed I could be in. Not only have I lost the weight but I developed my body the exact way I wanted it and now I can't stay away from the mirror.
2012 so far has been the best year of my life. Things finally looked up to me. What I can say is that with enough determination and desire to change yourself for the better , there is nothing you can't do. If there are things in your life that you believe can never change , think again , they can. Nothing is impossible if you put your mind and heart to it.
Now , I'm almost done , I'll just get back to the "sort of" part of the title.
The reason for that is that even though I've accomplished so many things this year , I still feel that something is missing. I think everyone knows what I'm talking about. I've found a really special person (as mentioned above) , sadly enough she is in a relationship and has been for a long time now, won't go into this anymore. All this said though , I'm kind of OK with it, even though I get really sad about it at times.
In October I'll be moving away from home to a new city , very large one even. I don't know what life has in store for me next but now I know for certain that good things can happen , they just don't happen out of the blue , you have to make them happen. There will be ups and downs I have no doubt about it but I know things will turn out ok in the end , and if they don't , I'll make them
.
Sorry for the long post and the mistakes , peace out.
Michael
The reason for which I included "sort of" is...well I'll talk about that later.
When I first joined this forum (maybe 2 years ago?) I was kind of a total mess. I had just finished high school and had big plans to attend med school.Due to various reasons , most being from my own fault I failed the exam so I decided to stay home , study and try again next year. This was the year from 2010-2011 , without a doubt the worst year of my life.
To elaborate , I had lost all of my friends since they all went to university (more importantly , I hardly had any friends and I didn't have anyone I was really close to). Basicly my year passed by with me not doing anything then studying (half assed) and staying in the house. Yes , that's all that I did. I'm pretty sure weeks went by without speaking to anyone, except my father.
Somehow , it passed and thus came the med school exam , which I failed , again. After that followed a few days of very very severe depression but , stubborn as I am , I decided I wouldn't give up and hard as it might have been I stayed home for another year.
Now what I didn't mention until now that I'm not very satisfied with myself. I despised myself , I was fat , I couldn't stand looking in the mirror. I was rather overweight , I weighed around 116-117kg (even though I'm rather tall , 1.92 , I was still very fat).
During my time of depression after the exam a former classmate from middle school (I think that's what you call it in english) decided to look me up , we were great friends then but kind of went different directions in high school. He told me he had heard about what happened. (Long story short , before the exam we talked and I told him I want to join a gym to lose weight, I figured he would be the best person to ask seeing that he has been an athlete and is currently studying nutrition).
And after my exam we talked , he said he had called me so that we could go to the gym together , obviously after my failure I didn't want to hear of it. Lucky for me , he is more stubborn then I am and just got me out of the house and took me to the gym (sort of against my will lol).
It was hard at first , I was very shy , would hardly talk to anyone and would just mind my own business. I was ashamed of being fat , until I realized that there really was no reason to be ashamed of.
We went to the gym almost every day , until the summer ended and he had to leave to university. Then began the harder part, I had to go by myself. Somehow , no idea how , I got myself together and started going alone. There I met some amazing people whom I will never ever forget, people who supported me and my dreams all year long. I even fell in love there with the most amazing girl ever. Sadly for me , most likely nothing will come of it (long story again but I won't go into it).
The year somehow passed again , I took going to the gym and studying for my exam really seriously (although , could have been better). In July I passed the exam and will be starting medical school in October. I currently weigh 92kg (from 116) and I am in a shape that I never even dreamed I could be in. Not only have I lost the weight but I developed my body the exact way I wanted it and now I can't stay away from the mirror.
2012 so far has been the best year of my life. Things finally looked up to me. What I can say is that with enough determination and desire to change yourself for the better , there is nothing you can't do. If there are things in your life that you believe can never change , think again , they can. Nothing is impossible if you put your mind and heart to it.
Now , I'm almost done , I'll just get back to the "sort of" part of the title.
The reason for that is that even though I've accomplished so many things this year , I still feel that something is missing. I think everyone knows what I'm talking about. I've found a really special person (as mentioned above) , sadly enough she is in a relationship and has been for a long time now, won't go into this anymore. All this said though , I'm kind of OK with it, even though I get really sad about it at times.
In October I'll be moving away from home to a new city , very large one even. I don't know what life has in store for me next but now I know for certain that good things can happen , they just don't happen out of the blue , you have to make them happen. There will be ups and downs I have no doubt about it but I know things will turn out ok in the end , and if they don't , I'll make them
.Sorry for the long post and the mistakes , peace out.
Michael
