About Andy

[Aunt Lucy]

Hello. I don't know if this is the right place to post this and this is a difficult post to post so please bear with me.

I am Andy's Aunty. I understand that he was an active member of this board and I have not been able to ascertain his username that he was posting with.

I am hoping that you may identify who he was posting as.

Andy has been institutionalised. This occurred some 5 or 6 months ago. It was perhaps inevitable and he is better placed where he is now. It is a distressing time for him and the family, but as a long or short term option there was not any real choice.

His mental illness was such that medication was not enough and he was suffering. The demands of the world to conform were a little too much for him to bear.

That said I have never seen him talk with such affection and caring for any people outside of his fairytale book, like he has the people here. It took me a while to find this place and I am delighted to have found it.
Andy is 16 and has a number of conditions amoung which is Schizophrenia. This onset very early maybe pre-teens which is unusual and a lot earlier than his Father. I suspect that the heart condition and the related lack of socialisation as a child with peers may have had something to do with it.

I have seen him especially in the last two years withdraw more and more from reality and losing himself in imaginary world of the Lord of the Rings.

That said I saw for some weeks an improvement and him talking about actual people! Real people! People with fantastic names like SofiaGrace, Bluey, Brian, Nerdygirl, KimberleyKat, Cas, Starstrider, Sucker and sorry a host of other names.

I read the Lord of the Rings many years ago, and to be honest have had my fill of it in recent years, but was sure that there was no person in it called Bluey!

I questioned him and he came alive with a flood of stories and hopes and...genuine caring. He loved it here. You guys meant the world to him.
Such a fantastic idea this forum. A lonely forum for lonely people and there was never a more lonely isolated teenager than Andy. Up until 6 months ago I saw such immense improvement in him generally and I suspect it was entirely this little forum.

Again without wanting to miss anyone and I know that I will, He let me know that he thinks that SofiaGrace was about the nicest and sweetest person here, he hopes that Brain asks out the girl with the key (?), He wants Kimberley that she ought not to be so sad with such a pretty smile, He says that CAS is awesome regardless of what anyone says and that he is a cool guy. Nerdy girl looks like (some elf girl - sorry Nerdygirl I did not remember the name but it was complimentary I assure you), Bluey he asked to remain strong and says that he had a scary Dad like his (my Brother in Law. Bluey you have my sympathy too), Strider he says is "Down with The Rings" (Could not help but laugh)

Yes there were other tales and hopes and interest and caring. He even said that he thought you all needed protecting. From what I can't imagine, but he was trying to style himself as a protector The heartbreaking thing is that he never realised that HE needed protecting, and now he has it, and he will be so much better for it.

I write this because you are worth it and in a few short weeks or maybe months, you all had been a very big part of his life, and I did not want you to miss seeing his posts and wondering at his absense these last six months.

Thank you so much for being so good and kind to him. He is a good kid and he needed so much for friends and acceptance and to not be laughed at or scorned or ostracised. Lord knows he has had enough of that to last a lifetime.

Means a lot that you advertise as a forum for lonely people and that you truly look after the lonely and help them feel wanted, like you did my dear nephew.

It is nearing Christmas and whilst I can visit him in the institution I can also bear the gift of goodwill on you all who looked after him.

Please feel free to leave a message or two and I will pass on your regards on next visit.

Thanks again

Aunty Lucy.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I didn't know Andy, I'm relatively new to the forums but I read your story. Sounds like he's getting the help he needs and I wish him the best. It's too bad he has to go through such an ordeal so young.

 

[Bluey]

Hi Aunt Lucy,

You posted in the right place. Let me welcome you here also. You sound nice and I would say Andy is lucky to have such a great Aunt

I don't know what Andy's user name was/is. There has been so many different ppl that pass fro here and most don't use their real name so it would be imposable really to know what he's user name could be.

There is 2 ways I can think of that you could find that out. The first is if he told anyone he's real name and they then see this and tell you.
The second is if a moderator searchers for your IP and marcher's it to he's. I take it you live close by so that would work if he still has an account here.
With saying that most moderators here probably would not do that for confidentiality reasons. You seem genuine enough but like a lot of ppl here would never wont anyone in there real life to find out they posted here.

I once accidentally sent a mail to a find with a link to this place. Like Andy I have also posted personal stuff that I necessary would not wont other ppl in my life to see. I think you would understand that in a place like this.
So maybe Andy could tell you he's user name?

I am glad Andy is getting the help that he needs.
I don't remember him based on what you have put here. But he sounds like a good sort
Most ppl don't go and get help. Whither he has gone and got it or it got to the point where he had to get it its still good he is getting some help.
It is the silent battles that well kill you after all. Most ppl here understand that. That I guss is why most ppl here are nice to one another.
It is good he can now be honest with how he feels around the ppl he loves and that love him

When he feels like it it would be good if he could re-post and let us all know how he's doing

 

[dead]

Hello. I don't know if this is the right place to post this and this is a difficult post to post so please bear with me.

I am Andy's Aunty. I understand that he was an active member of this board and I have not been able to ascertain his username that he was posting with.

I am hoping that you may identify who he was posting as.

Andy has been institutionalised. This occurred some 5 or 6 months ago. It was perhaps inevitable and he is better placed where he is now. It is a distressing time for him and the family, but as a long or short term option there was not any real choice.

His mental illness was such that medication was not enough and he was suffering. The demands of the world to conform were a little too much for him to bear.

That said I have never seen him talk with such affection and caring for any people outside of his fairytale book, like he has the people here. It took me a while to find this place and I am delighted to have found it.
Andy is 16 and has a number of conditions amoung which is Schizophrenia. This onset very early maybe pre-teens which is unusual and a lot earlier than his Father. I suspect that the heart condition and the related lack of socialisation as a child with peers may have had something to do with it.

I have seen him especially in the last two years withdraw more and more from reality and losing himself in imaginary world of the Lord of the Rings.

That said I saw for some weeks an improvement and him talking about actual people! Real people! People with fantastic names like SofiaGrace, Bluey, Brian, Nerdygirl, KimberleyKat, Cas, Starstrider, Sucker and sorry a host of other names.

I read the Lord of the Rings many years ago, and to be honest have had my fill of it in recent years, but was sure that there was no person in it called Bluey!

I questioned him and he came alive with a flood of stories and hopes and...genuine caring. He loved it here. You guys meant the world to him.
Such a fantastic idea this forum. A lonely forum for lonely people and there was never a more lonely isolated teenager than Andy. Up until 6 months ago I saw such immense improvement in him generally and I suspect it was entirely this little forum.

Again without wanting to miss anyone and I know that I will, He let me know that he thinks that SofiaGrace was about the nicest and sweetest person here, he hopes that Brain asks out the girl with the key (?), He wants Kimberley that she ought not to be so sad with such a pretty smile, He says that CAS is awesome regardless of what anyone says and that he is a cool guy. Nerdy girl looks like (some elf girl - sorry Nerdygirl I did not remember the name but it was complimentary I assure you), Bluey he asked to remain strong and says that he had a scary Dad like his (my Brother in Law. Bluey you have my sympathy too), Strider he says is "Down with The Rings" (Could not help but laugh)

Yes there were other tales and hopes and interest and caring. He even said that he thought you all needed protecting. From what I can't imagine, but he was trying to style himself as a protector The heartbreaking thing is that he never realised that HE needed protecting, and now he has it, and he will be so much better for it.

I write this because you are worth it and in a few short weeks or maybe months, you all had been a very big part of his life, and I did not want you to miss seeing his posts and wondering at his absense these last six months.

Thank you so much for being so good and kind to him. He is a good kid and he needed so much for friends and acceptance and to not be laughed at or scorned or ostracised. Lord knows he has had enough of that to last a lifetime.

Means a lot that you advertise as a forum for lonely people and that you truly look after the lonely and help them feel wanted, like you did my dear nephew.

It is nearing Christmas and whilst I can visit him in the institution I can also bear the gift of goodwill on you all who looked after him.

Please feel free to leave a message or two and I will pass on your regards on next visit.

Thanks again

Aunty Lucy.

oh gosh... i can't tell you how touching it is to read this.
and painful, at the same time.

Andy sounds like an amazing person, with far too heavy a burden. i hope he will see better days, with all my heart.

it is so nice to know that he has someone like you as his family.

merry christmas to you, and your family. i genuinely hope you will find more peace.

 

[SophiaGrace]

This is driving me nuts. o.o I"m thinking very hard about who this might be.

At first I thought you were talking about someone I was friends with here that I know has schizophrenia and hasnt been around for a while, but his introductory post says he's 26.

And, I went back and looked at Brian's thread where be mentions the key, but could see no post that could be Andrew's.


Oh, I think I remember him now...he came to the forum 5 or 6 months ago.....and used to mention Lord of the Rings a lot...like EVERY POST. lol

I liked talking to him. Tell him SophiaGrace says hello and that he can reach her at Sophia.Weinberg @ hotmail . com if he so pleases.

Oh and Merry Christmas as well and I hope he gets better soon.

 

[edgecrusher]

i remember the kid that was talking about lord of the rings all the time too but i cant remember his username either. either way im glad he has someone like you that cares about him. thanks for posting what you did here, it was very touching.

 

[nerdygirl]

Awww, I look like an elf girl! I do, indeed, take that as a compliment. That's very sweet of him to think so.

I have suspicions of who it was. There's only one person who really makes sense, with his intense love of Lord of the Rings. I think that each of us here, as well as the "fellowship" of us, probably DO need protection. It was kind of him to think of us, despite his own needs.

I will keep Andy in my prayers. If it wouldn't harm his recovery, please let him know I said, "Q Ná merye i turuhalmeri!" (An elvish wish for a happy Christmas). Also, please let him know he can reach me via email. I use gmail, and go by nerd.gasms

 

[Brian]

Oh wow, yeah, I think I remember him. Every post was a Lord of the Rings metaphor...heh, a lot of them were actually kind of insightful, in a way.

Well, I guess I'm Brian. If it would be something good for him to hear, I didn't ask out the girl with the key, but I did ask out another girl and am dating her (she's my first real girlfriend). Please tell Andy I said hello, and that I hope he has a good holiday. I'll be thinking of him. I hope he finds some improvement in his life from this new turn of events.

And thank you, for stopping by; it's obvious that you care very much for Andy to have sought us out. This place has helped me immensely and I'm glad to know that Andy was benefited as well.

 

[Zak]

indeed it has to be frodo baggins and dont mention my name or you can try mentioning my name to see whether its really him as he hates me with a vengeance. i called him sarcastic once (in a complimentary way) and he took offense of it and then he kinda stalked my old posts and started off posting hateful personal insults towards me making fun of my personal issues/sickness. anyway i hope he gets well soon. i dont have anything against him. but he might want to kill me.

 

[Aunt Lucy]

Thank you all for your replies.

Unfortunately whilst it was very sweet of those of you who wanted to contact him, he is unfortunately not likely to be able to access computers nor have the cognitive ability to write emails and thing were he to have access. He is not uncomfortable nor manic nor depressed but not in a place mentally where the drugs he has to take would warrant such action.

But it is the time of giving and these words DO give a lot to an old lady, and the thought behind them is a veritable gift in itself.

Bluey, Andy lived with us. I don't think he ever used our computer but yes I suppose to someone computer savvy these things could be confirmed thus.

Brian I am well pleased that you found someone special. I am glad that cryptic message meant something. He never talked about actual people, and even though I was told all of these things months ago, I remembered well.

Sanal, your name never did come up, but you are right I think the last thing he needs now, is the opening of old wounds or hurt. He has had his fill of this. He had very little interaction with people and he understood cruelty well enough. If you were sarcastic to him then I well imagine he would have reacted. He knew no other way and he would not have understood the subtleties. Mean was mean and nice was nice and that was Andy. I am not saying you were mean nor than he acted well or even sanely for that matter. I just understand him to an extent. As much as any I suppose.

Have recently learned that Andy was banned from here and that his name here was Frodo Baggins. This saddens me immensely. Not the name. That was expected.

 

[kimberleykat]

I am Kimma aka kimberleykat...
I remember that Andy once posted at one of my sad threads.
But he didn't show up in forums anymore or I might have just missed him on here cuz I was pretty much away from ALL for a couple of months precipated by a more severe catatrophe of anxiety/panic attacks that happened to me.
I hope Andy can feel better soon, no matter where he is.
Pls tell him that kimberleykat says he WILL feel better. We both just have to believe in ourselves.
-Kimma

 

[Aunt Lucy]

I suspect that was because apparently he was banned. Not long before the incident that put him in the ward. I am still trying to work out the timelines of when he was here, when he was banned and when he had the incident. It may be a little more than connected. To say this is disconcerting is rather understated.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Aunt Lucy, you can do a member search and you can view all posts he made. They will all have a time stamp of when they were posted.

 

[nerdygirl]

Oh, dear. I sometimes wonder if I'm the only one who cares about maintaining the privacy of others.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Um, yeah Aunt Lucy you might want to think twice before delving into that area. Andy would have come here to talk to people where maybe he felt he couldn't with people around him. You might want to understand why he was banned but maybe you should just leave it alone.

I'm sorry I shouldn't have told you how to look it up. I was just trying to be helpful but it might not be helpful for you to do that. If he wants to tell you maybe he will, if not its personal to him, or else he wouldn't have come here.

 

[Aunt Lucy]

Thank you. A couple of nice members here posted me his profile and I have been reading each and every post. I am absolutely livid and distressed.

I see the effort he goes to, to fit in and especially towards the end to help his "friends" here (and yes these people were the closest people he had to friends). Yes he was fighting with another member he and I saw the post concerned that started the bad blood (after discussing this with the member concerned). Seeing the context and knowing Andy I see him really hurt.

The young man concerned inadvertently upset him. My reading of that members post read it as highly insulting but I am aware that it was not meant to read that way. I have talked to that member and he is a sweet young man who was just too stubborn (much like my Andy to apologise and back down). So young men getting angry and stubborn with each other. That describes most young male interaction know.

Andy felt attacked, devalued, hurt and started hitting back.

Now here was a young man of 16 with obvious distress and still trying to help his friends and fighting off feelings of hurt.

The questing thread for all its silly nonsense about Hobbits was practical, helpful and concrete. That is more concrete, useful and interactive than I have seen him in years. This forum bought this out of him and bonded him to others. This was fantastic.

I see a few members backed and lead by the moderators and Admin staff start attacking him and he attacked back. They escalate and he escalates. They ban him. People like Badjedidude dance on his grave and laugh that he is banned - job well done. Eve and Minus and Steel fire a few parting shots.

Soon after in real life a now distressed and distraught 16 year old boy cut from a support base of friends and having been soundly rounded on by a group of 3 moderators and 3 or 4 members, quickly slides into deep dark instability and has an incident requiring the use of 4 burly police officers with no little force to restrain and incarcerate him.

I was there at the time and yes he was delusional and I have no idea what he was on about. The themes that resonated in his nonsense was questing, protecting friends, Mordor and (what until tonight I thought were vague uncontextualised abstracts) Eve and minus and Steel.

I have been worried sick with New Year Eve so close away that something terrible was going to occur on that date and that this was the eve he was worrying about. I thought that Steel may have been an allusion to swords or knives and I have been upset as to his getting hold of them. I had no idea about what on earth minus could mean but it did not bode well in conjunction with such thoughts. It seemed to me that he had somehow got it into his head that he was going to do something with steel on New Years Eve. The medication has dulled him to almost lobotomy inertia of emotion. I still have dreaded him becoming suddenly animated on New Years and doing something horrible. It tended to be in contrast with his apparent want to protect and the look of fear even whilst being arrested.

I believe on reading all I have that he simply was distressed, angry, defensive and scared. He was a vulnerable 16 year old bit with psychological issues and you all rounded on him. He WAS trying to protect the members and his friends. From those that were hurting him.

Eve, Minus, Steel. You have disgraced yourself at the way you dealt with this. There are some very nice young men and women here and they are vulnerable and sensitive and you used this opportunity to run over a vulnerable boy and I don't know how you could have handled this worse.

---

For those lovely members who posted nicely to me and to Andy (Frodo Baggins) whilst he was here I give you my thanks and wish you the best Christmas has to bring.

This does bring a sense of closure to me.

I am sure now that New Year Eve is not going to mean my nephew is going to do something horrible. I know the reasons for him loving this place and moreso the reasons why he so quickly declined into psychotic darkness.

Time for me to take my leave I think.

I hope in future the moderators stop stroking their egos or so quickly judging people and instead put such things aside and realise there is flesh and blood and heart behind each member. This should not have happened.

 

[Minus]

You should be aware that what you are reading is a cleaned up version of his posts. His attacks and insults have been removed.

He did become obsessed with a member here and felt the need to constantly attack him. We did spend a good deal of time with Frodo trying to get across to him that we could not have him constantly attacking another member.

Shortly after Frodo got here we did have a member follow him around insulting him. That member was told to stop the insults but they continued. That person was banned for it. We tried to get Frodo to understand that just as we could not allow that person to go around attacking him, that we also could not allow him to go around constantly attacking a member. We were unable to get him to accept this. He felt justified in doing so.

In order to get him to understand that we were serious about the need for him to stop the attacks, we did give him a short vacation. His first act when he returned was to post an identical attack in a dozen different threads.

While we did sympathize with his difficulties we could not allow him to constantly attack another member and all efforts to get him to stop doing so failed.

So far you have shown no indication that any of this would make any difference to you. It still stands that we can not allow one member to go around constantly attacking another.

 

[Bluey]

I hope in future the moderators stop stroking their egos or so quickly judging people and instead put such things aside and realise there is flesh and blood and heart behind each member. This should not have happened.

Hi again Aunt Lucy.
It dose sound like your hurting a lot for Andy.
Its not surprising you feel angry for the way he has been treated.

Can I just ask you to understand though that the moderators here only do what they think is best for all of the members here.
Sometimes just like all of us they get it wrong.

I can remember frodo and I don't think its good that information be made to you with out Andy's say so. But I guss it was up to Andy to cover he's tracks better if he did wont that to stay privet has well.

People here are generally a good bunch of ppl. The moderators have all been normal members of this sight be for they where moderators. They all are where they are because they love and care for this place and the ppl that come here. They all know why we come here because they got here the same way has us. So I would please ask you to give them a break and realize they do generally a good job here and all voluntary.
None of them are experts or psychiatrists. There just normal ppl that are hurting from feeling alone the same has every member here.
Its hard to please everyone and to keep everyone happy all of the time.
Also they can only go on the information they see. You have a much better insight to Andy and the way he is then any of us here.

And please don't think am being biest cos there my friends. I don't even get on with one of them. But sometimes there are put in imposable dilemmas.

I can say with confidence that nobody here would wish Andy any harm.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Hey, I know that Andy isnt all there right now, but, when and if he does have access to a computer...and seems more cognizant (whenever that may be, hopefully soon) do please give him my email.

Sorry if that seems like I'm repeating myself. o.o Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too.

 

[EveWasFramed]

This forum is not a substitute for mental health care. Perhaps Aunt Nancy should have gotten Andy some care long before.