ragTagblues
Member
Hi all,
Very glad to have found this place as I'm just coming to a stage in my life where I am accepting that my life isn't as I thought it was or would like it to be. A tough realization, so here's the story if you will -
Bizarrely I'm actually quite popular and well liked by those around me (not meaning to sound big headed I just think it is relevant) - my colleague, peers and family always we have a good laugh whenever are together.
So I spend most days (not working) sat home on my own playing Xbox or watching sports, I could have a week off and not speak to a single person from work, my peers or family - no one would call or text and the reverse side I wouldn't reach out either.
Problem is that I give off this slightly arrogant demeanor that I don't really need anybody and I have been like this since I was about 17 - to be honest it has done me so much harm mentally and socially that I dread to think about it. It's not deliberate; but it means I keep everybody at arms length regardless of how well we get on.
What this adds up to? Is a **** lonely life, with no friends and as for relationships? What a joke! Some days its hard enough to look in the mirror and see a man who doesn't understand himself, yet alone force it upon someone intimately.
And so last paragraph before I sign off - intimacy or getting close to people scares the hell out of me.
Thanks for listening.
Very glad to have found this place as I'm just coming to a stage in my life where I am accepting that my life isn't as I thought it was or would like it to be. A tough realization, so here's the story if you will -
Bizarrely I'm actually quite popular and well liked by those around me (not meaning to sound big headed I just think it is relevant) - my colleague, peers and family always we have a good laugh whenever are together.
So I spend most days (not working) sat home on my own playing Xbox or watching sports, I could have a week off and not speak to a single person from work, my peers or family - no one would call or text and the reverse side I wouldn't reach out either.
Problem is that I give off this slightly arrogant demeanor that I don't really need anybody and I have been like this since I was about 17 - to be honest it has done me so much harm mentally and socially that I dread to think about it. It's not deliberate; but it means I keep everybody at arms length regardless of how well we get on.
What this adds up to? Is a **** lonely life, with no friends and as for relationships? What a joke! Some days its hard enough to look in the mirror and see a man who doesn't understand himself, yet alone force it upon someone intimately.
And so last paragraph before I sign off - intimacy or getting close to people scares the hell out of me.
Thanks for listening.