Addicted to crappy relationships??? :(

[Broken_Doll]

I'm worried about letting this guy I met recently get too close. I will either push him away if he does and wonder if things could have been great or not, or I will let him get close enough to hurt me. This is usually the way relationships go for me.

I don't want people getting too close to me. At the same time I'm absolutely terrified of being completely alone forever.

I keep getting into 'unhealthy' relationships where I just end up letting myself get hurt. I either attract the wrong people or I am attracted to the wrong people. It's almost like I've learnt nothing at all from my past crappy relationships because I keep getting into these 'unhealthy' relationships where I'm miserable and then doing it all over again. I keep asking myself if I'm like addicted to crappy relationships or something because sometimes it really seems that way.

 

[Remedy]

The only thing I can say, is why not give the guys who aren't giving many chances by women a try? One thing I have noticed is that there ARE good guys out there but they are usually overlooked or probably already taken. Although that doesn't always work because there are guys who are overlooked who end up becoming bitter and end up jerks. This world is a sad place. I was oblivious to it my whole life but i have finally realized that it is. I have just learned to accept that.

I don't know how to say this but maybe try and go for the less appealing guys? It doesn't always work but I was an overlooked guy for awhile. Whether it be the fact that i was just too unconfident or quiet for women, I don't know. I know that in my posts and that some of my views can be very judgemental. I tend to be critical about people who lack morals, corrupt others with their ways, and only think about their own selfish desires.

I guess what I'm saying is why not give the guys you don't tend to give chances a chance? Mix it up a bit or else you might just keep running into douchebags. With all the girls nowadays talking about how they run into jerk after jerk and all the guys who say they are a good person that are overlooked. I know that i have always been overlooked and I have stated that I can be judgemental. I should stop judging but I tend to judge people who corrupt/ruin people like I said. I feel and know that I am a good person. It is so hard to find anyone who is genuine and respects their fellow human being anymore...

Just keep looking though and I am sorry that you keep running into jerks . There ARE good guys out there, it is just so hard to find them anymore. I just never understood why girls around me complain about guy after guy who treats them like honeysuckle. When there are guys out there who are great probably but are overlooked. It never made any sense and still doesn't. This world is a very strange place... I don't know whether it be that these guys trick women into thinking hes a good guy when he really isn't. Everyone has just became so selfish over the years. There is hardly anyone out there who mutually respect each other.

What types of guys do you tend to give a try? How do they usually act at first?

 

[edgecrusher]

thats what im pretty sure is happening to me right now. i think that a girl is doing that to me right now. im the type of guy that normally wouldnt be given a chance too. who knows? he might not be like the rest. unfortunately you expose yourself to the risk of getting hurt. but the only way you will know is to try.

 

[nerdygirl]

Most guys I'm attracted to are those guys that are overlooked. And they always want some other girl. Stupid overlooked guys.

 

[SophiaGrace]

You probably have set modes of thinking which need to be broken in order to form healthier relationships. Give therapy a try. It cant hurt you. *hug*

 

[Remedy]

Most guys I'm attracted to are those guys that are overlooked. And they always want some other girl. Stupid overlooked guys.

Nice wise crack, I don't choose the guys that you date do I :/? I'm just trying to help out. I was always overlooked and I know that I'm a good guy.

I didn't mean all overlooked guys. I just meant from a couple people i have known including myself, that have been overlooked. My best friend was overlooked his whole life and hes a really great guy. He ended up marrying and being really happy. He works so hard now, supports and loves his wife so much. He was and is a great person. I have my problems of course, but i feel like I am a good person. All i want to do is love and cherish one girl my whole life. I've always wanted to be loyal and really loving to one girl for a lifetime.

 

[QuietGuy]

I keep asking myself if I'm like addicted to crappy relationships or something because sometimes it really seems that way.

From what you've said, I really don't think you're "addicted to crappy relationships" - that would mean you get some sort of "high" or pleasure from them, which you obviously don't.

I'm absolutely terrified of being completely alone forever.

Maybe it's this fear which is causing you to rush into relationships too quickly, which then end up being unhealthy / crappy / hurtful?

I'm worried about letting this guy I met recently get too close. I will either push him away if he does and wonder if things could have been great or not, or I will let him get close enough to hurt me.

Can you give us a little bit more info about your current situation with this guy? How well do you know him? Have you been friends for a while? How about a third option: instead of pushing him away or letting him get closer, just keep things as they are for now, and get to know him better just as a friend first.

 

[Badjedidude]

((((Broken_Doll))))

 

[Broken_Doll]

From what you've said, I really don't think you're "addicted to crappy relationships" - that would mean you get some sort of "high" or pleasure from them, which you obviously don't.

I can almost totally relate to all of this... http://www.buzzle.com/articles/are-you-addicted-to-bad-relationships.html

Maybe it's this fear which is causing you to rush into relationships too quickly, which then end up being unhealthy / crappy / hurtful?

I definately think that this is part of the problem.

Can you give us a little bit more info about your current situation with this guy? How well do you know him? Have you been friends for a while? How about a third option: instead of pushing him away or letting him get closer, just keep things as they are for now, and get to know him better just as a friend first.

We met not too long ago, we liked eachother and swapped numbers, we got talking and decided that we wanted to date and see where things go.

((((Broken_Doll))))

Thanks. ((((Badjedidude))))

 

[Vic Sage]

I'm worried about letting this guy I met recently get too close. I will either push him away if he does and wonder if things could have been great or not, or I will let him get close enough to hurt me. This is usually the way relationships go for me.

I don't want people getting too close to me. At the same time I'm absolutely terrified of being completely alone forever.

I keep getting into 'unhealthy' relationships where I just end up letting myself get hurt. I either attract the wrong people or I am attracted to the wrong people. It's almost like I've learnt nothing at all from my past crappy relationships because I keep getting into these 'unhealthy' relationships where I'm miserable and then doing it all over again. I keep asking myself if I'm like addicted to crappy relationships or something because sometimes it really seems that way.

If I remember correctly, I think your age is twenty. You are so incredibly young, there is absolutely no way you will end up alone forever. You're fetching, you have an interesting personality, and you have a cool English accent, so at the very least some American dude will pay your flight over here to marry him!