Alone=no disappointments. No disappointments=happiness. Alone=happiness!!

[thelonegamer]

The board description says 'discuss it's causes(...)'. The reason I'm lonely is that I always end up getting disappointed: either 'cause no one understands me or just because the world is a pretty messed up place.
I can be positive, really, I can. I can be the most positive m'****** anyone has ever seen.
What I want is...truth. I want something true, not something based on anything else.
No matter how many times someone tries to convince me to like a Facebook page for example, if his mouth says something but his heart is saying another I don't buy it. Plus, it makes me look like a fool. I don't take anything less than that and I don't give anything other than that either. Simply 'cause I know no other way to live life.
I found out that, in my mind, everyone's just like that. Some do it consciously and most don't. My solution? Simple. I avoid contact. I avoid getting envolved. Plus, I won't miss anything, I'll be even happier by myself!
So far I have found only one person able to understand me and this person really has no honeysuckle to do with me yet SHE understands me and it's beautiful.
Be alone. My call. I give up.
I am thelonegamer. Expect more stuff like this

 

[mónos]

thelonegamer,

Sometimes we try to convince ourselves through some kind of reasoning that it is okay to be alone, or to be in whatever other situation we are in that we do not like. How many of us have been on a diet eating something we don't really like, and we try to convince ourselves that we really do like it (but not really)? However, that is just another way to try and fight off the pain. This may not be you, or it may be in reality, I admit don't know. As for me, I have used your very reasoning before (see my signature) and then I gave in to my truth...it sucks to be alone.

Here is how I see these thoughts. Being alone is itself a disappointment for me, so the "Alone=no disappointments" is a fallacy for me. Sure I might not be repeatedly disappointed by others, but I am still alone. Also, if I give up, then I will be experiencing an ongoing permanent disappointment by others. "They" win, so to speak, and I stay alone and disappointed.

I also have to consider if I have been a disappointment to others and caused anybody else to feel the way I do or the way you do. In such a case, it may be best for me to be alone, not so I will not be disappointed by others, but so I will not be a disappointment to others.

Another thought, you're not really avoiding all contact with other people, not entirely...you are here sharing your thoughts and apparently wanting feedback. At the very least you say you will share more like this, and I hope so. I believe a variety of views can help us. I do not mean for my post to defer you in any way from being here and participating. I am just sharing a response from my point of view. You and I are two different people and we will certainly have two different views and ways to deal with where we are in this life.

 

[Nocturnal99]

I can relate to what you're saying here. There are some that can live that way, and be continent. I have given this a try, but something about a humans nature tends to want express and be heard.

 

[thelonegamer]

It's not totally like that. I'm different in too many levels. I have been let down too many times so I just kinda lost hope that someone would actually care about my feelings. I think I have stated somewhere that only one person get me. No one else but some people in this forum actually tried to understand me so... I rather be alone than to be with a bad company, I guess that's what I meant to say

 

[TheRealCallie]

I must disagree with your title. Being alone doesn't equal no disappoints. No expectations equals no disappointments. Whether you are alone or not, you will still find yourself being disappointed about something.
Don't get me wrong, there are people out there that genuinely prefer to be alone and that's fine, if it's what you are honestly content with, but the majority of people, IMO, do need social interaction, which means that there is bound to be disappointment if you EXPECT things from people. I'm not talking presents, I mean if you expect them to trust you or do things with you all the time or if you want them to drop whatever they are doing to help you because you would do it for them. (those are just a few examples.

 

[thelonegamer]

My friend Nocturnal99, I'm no normal human being, I have gone through stages of my life many won't believe in me. I first smoked pot when I was 12 and haven't stopped that much till now. I have talked to older people, people aged 40 to 60 and all of them said the same thing: 'you have an old soul, there is no one I have ever met of your age like you'. Somethings like that. I'm way too mature for my age and the reason why is 'cause of all these bullshits I've faced in my life thus far. I should be browsing Dustbin Gayber's site or Gay Direction's list of tours or something that normal people my age does. So, I don't think I have the need to be heard tbh

---

My friend TheRealCallie, I know. I seriously have expectations issues. I am clearly a very intelligent individual yet I cannot put thoughts in my head saying 'I'm not expecting him/her to do anything' or something of the kind. I did that. There were days I'd wake up not giving a fresia about anyone and not expecting a **** thing and those days are one of the awesomest in my life. I have to admit, I'm guilty here. I want someone to care, only once. That's all. After that, I'm not giving a fresia about nothing. I am a devoted defender of the these that your happiness must not rely on things or people, it must rely on goals. And also that I must not expect anyone to make me happy, that I must be responsible for my own happiness. And trust me, I'm trying to do just that and I'm progressing. The signs that I'm making progress? Five years ago I didn't left my bedroom for three weeks, I was so bad in depression I only ate and slept. I have been through some worse honeysuckle in my life so I'm not surprised anymore by anything 'cause, trust me, I've been through a lot worse in my 18-year spell among humans

---

We must agree to disagree
Thanks a lot for everyone's comments, I really didn't expected anyone to give a fresia... also I didn't gave a fresia if no one commented a **** thing after all *fuk yea*
Really, it means a lot to me that u guys tried to break inside my thoughts and that's huge given the fact I complicate stuff I shouldn't
Sorry and thanks

 

[TheRealCallie]

You keep saying that no one understands you. People don't necessarily have to understand you to care about you.

I'm a rather....complex person, there are many that don't understand why I do a lot of things that I do, but they still care about me. It's more about accepting than understanding. If someone doesn't want to get to know me and see who I really am, if they can't accept me as I am, they can go fresia themselves because they don't deserve to know me or be a part of my life. Yes, I can be a *****. I will never deny that, but if you can't see around that to what else I can be, than gtfo.

Also, aside from trying not to have expectations of people (and we all do at some point, even when we try our best not to), you also need to have boundaries. If there is something you WILL NOT tolerate, don't accept it. Lay out the ground rules and if they can't comply or be okay with it, than maybe you don't need the hassle. For example, everyone will have disagreements with people because everyone is going to have a differing opinions at some point. As you said in your post up there, you can agree to disagree and move on from it, don't get into a heated debate/argument that goes so far that you risk losing the relationship.

 

[Rainbows]

This totally aside, but could we not refer to one direction or justin bieber like that?
It sounded like you are saying that gay is a bad thing.. Also, not liking those things is not a sign of maturity, lol. Not insulting things like this is a sign of maturity.

thank you.

 

[Nicolelt]

You keep saying that no one understands you. People don't necessarily have to understand you to care about you.

^^^^^ This

Lots of people cannot figure me out. But they still love me.

 

[thelonegamer]

You keep saying that no one understands you. People don't necessarily have to understand you to care about you.

I'm a rather....complex person, there are many that don't understand why I do a lot of things that I do, but they still care about me. It's more about accepting than understanding. If someone doesn't want to get to know me and see who I really am, if they can't accept me as I am, they can go fresia themselves because they don't deserve to know me or be a part of my life. Yes, I can be a *****. I will never deny that, but if you can't see around that to what else I can be, than gtfo.

Also, aside from trying not to have expectations of people (and we all do at some point, even when we try our best not to), you also need to have boundaries. If there is something you WILL NOT tolerate, don't accept it. Lay out the ground rules and if they can't comply or be okay with it, than maybe you don't need the hassle. For example, everyone will have disagreements with people because everyone is going to have a differing opinions at some point. As you said in your post up there, you can agree to disagree and move on from it, don't get into a heated debate/argument that goes so far that you risk losing the relationship.

That's the point. It's not many people that accept my bullshits and the people whom I thought would be there for me aren't so it's quite difficult to fresia everyone when that everyone meant so much to me although that's exactly what I'm doing right now. I guess life's a ***** or something but I believe in myself which is most important given the fact that not many people believe in themselves so I guess I'm a winner. Yaay!

---

This totally aside, but could we not refer to one direction or justin bieber like that?
It sounded like you are saying that gay is a bad thing.. Also, not liking those things is not a sign of maturity, lol. Not insulting things like this is a sign of maturity.

thank you.

I'm not insulting. I'm just emphasizing stuff. Most stuff they do are considered gay by many and by me also. I listen to JB songs as well as 1D's, but not all of them. I'm not insulting, it's just a joke and it has nothing to do with being mature or immature. Great point of view

 

[Regumika]

Something that caught my attention...

Why do we emphasize that people can't figure us out like it's a good thing? Like it's some kind of competition "I'm harder to figure out than the average person."

I'm not saying it's good that people "assume wrong" as to what kind of person you are.. but why [enjoy] being not figured out? Like it's some kind of defeat when someone actually knows you.

Another thing is that... when someone knows you when you don't want them to versus when someone knows you when you want them to.

 

[Peaches]

I really don't see lack of disappointment as happiness, that sounds more like a death-like limbo

that doesn't mean that people can't be happy to be alone, but they won't find happiness by avoiding disappointment, that's it

 

[thelonegamer]

Something that caught my attention...

Why do we emphasize that people can't figure us out like it's a good thing? Like it's some kind of competition "I'm harder to figure out than the average person."

I'm not saying it's good that people "assume wrong" as to what kind of person you are.. but why [enjoy] being not figured out? Like it's some kind of defeat when someone actually knows you.

Another thing is that... when someone knows you when you don't want them to versus when someone knows you when you want them to.

Tough one but I think I have kinda the right 'answer' for that. I have put my trust on people in a way, perhaps, a different way most people do. I would jump off the Taipei building if someone told me it's going to be fine (I wouldn't btw, just emphasizing stuff). The worst thing that has ever happened to me and that further moulded me into being this kind of person I am was, I was crying one day for some reason not relevant then my best friend asked me what's wrong. I said I can't tell you that 'cause you won't understand me, she insisted for like an hour till I decided to give it a try. I talked for five minutes. There was a four-second silence. She said 'I'm hungry, what's for lunch?'. You know what I said? 'I have Doritos, Lays and a few sandwiches on the fridge'. Ever since I was never able to really express myself. If you think I have sorted out my problems here you haven't seen a thing.
Point of the story: I have lost hope. I ultimately agree that no one will ever understand me and that I must live with it. Whether someone understands me or not, it doesn't matter no more. Heart's broken already...

 

[tone303]

Historically I have always risked disappointments & even heart break over loneliness. I both saw it and felt it as a non-option, sort of like do or die (trying to socialize and find Love) vs die or die (not trying to socialize), whether you view that metaphorically or literal possibility of death from extreme stress & heart break to the point of vomiting (I have never had a suicide attempt).

Dont get me wrong, i havent had much opportunity for the romance side of things, and had 95% isolation VS 5% romantic opportunities and about 10% friend chances vs 90% no one willing to get to know me. but out of the minority i had, they didnt go so well.

I take pride in being a very genuine person who doesn't believe in letting others down. If someone is attached to me theres no way in hell im ever leaving.<3 but they do. =(

FYI Im one of the lonely people who is very affectionate and social in nature VS not being one of the lonely ones who is below average in social desire. There's two main kinds of us and both are equally important people.

(this post had a lot of edited mistakes)

Now i dont feel as worthy for Love because im in a bad disability situation & PTSD. =( even though it doesnt affect me socially, theres all the other ways.

 

[Regumika]

Point of the story: I have lost hope. I ultimately agree that no one will ever understand me and that I must live with it. Whether someone understands me or not, it doesn't matter no more. Heart's broken already...

-"Eventually soulmates meet, for they have the same hiding place."
-"Don't limit your challenges. Challenge your limits."

Easier said than done.

 

[VeganAtheist]

Now i dont feel as worthy for Love because im in a bad disability situation & PTSD. =( even though it doesnt affect me socially, theres all the other ways.

Mental health issues doesn't determine a persons worth. You are just as worthy as anyone else - your brain is just wired differently.

 

[thelonegamer]

Historically I have always risked disappointments & even heart break over loneliness. I both saw it and felt it as a non-option, sort of like do or die (trying to socialize and find Love) vs die or die (not trying to socialize), whether you view that metaphorically or literal possibility of death from extreme stress & heart break to the point of vomiting (I have never had a suicide attempt).

Dont get me wrong, i havent had much opportunity for the romance side of things, and had 95% isolation VS 5% romantic opportunities and about 10% friend chances vs 90% no one willing to get to know me. but out of the minority i had, they didnt go so well.

I take pride in being a very genuine person who doesn't believe in letting others down. If someone is attached to me theres no way in hell im ever leaving.<3 but they do. =(

FYI Im one of the lonely people who is very affectionate and social in nature VS not being one of the lonely ones who is below average in social desire. There's two main kinds of us and both are equally important people.

(this post had a lot of edited mistakes)

Now i dont feel as worthy for Love because im in a bad disability situation & PTSD. =( even though it doesnt affect me socially, theres all the other ways.

You shouldn't feel that way. It's wrong and I'm sure you know that. One of the things I'm proud of is that I've always been fair to everyone but most importantly I've been fair to myself. Be fair to you. You deserve it. But don't sit down on your arse and waiting for someone to come. Go out there and fight, get high expectations then get disappointed then get back out there and repeat. It's not about how many times you're turned down, it's about how many times you get back up. So try and never give up. I was just where you are and now I look back saying I made it, why? Before I could barely talk to anyone yet I had three girls begging for me, prior to April 21st . Don't give up. Always believe you deserve better. Best of luck

 

[Wanderer145]

We all have to have setbacks and disappointments otherwise we can't appreciate the best things in life. I'm alone and some days I'm ok with it. It doesn't get to my head and I enjoy the day for myself. Other days it gets so bad I can't think of anything else but disappointments, loneliness pushing people away to the point I am isolated.

Being comfortable with being alone in your solitude can only be real if you have experienced things before and know something about how life has treated you. If you're uncomfortable with loneliness it is a disappointment, 'why can't I be happy?' 'why can't I find a partner?' 'Why have I always been alone?'

Experiencing life is important otherwise loneliness will just eat at you and you will be ultimately disappointed.

 

[thelonegamer]

We all have to have setbacks and disappointments otherwise we can't appreciate the best things in life. I'm alone and some days I'm ok with it. It doesn't get to my head and I enjoy the day for myself. Other days it gets so bad I can't think of anything else but disappointments, loneliness pushing people away to the point I am isolated.

Being comfortable with being alone in your solitude can only be real if you have experienced things before and know something about how life has treated you. If you're uncomfortable with loneliness it is a disappointment, 'why can't I be happy?' 'why can't I find a partner?' 'Why have I always been alone?'

Experiencing life is important otherwise loneliness will just eat at you and you will be ultimately disappointed.

that's it. many people who are said to be lonely aren't really in contempt with that decision... unlike me! when I talk about being alone I don't mean alone literally, I mean not to get attached to anyone who could eventually break my heart. that's exactly what I mean

 

[Rainbows]

We all have to have setbacks and disappointments otherwise we can't appreciate the best things in life. I'm alone and some days I'm ok with it. It doesn't get to my head and I enjoy the day for myself. Other days it gets so bad I can't think of anything else but disappointments, loneliness pushing people away to the point I am isolated.

Being comfortable with being alone in your solitude can only be real if you have experienced things before and know something about how life has treated you. If you're uncomfortable with loneliness it is a disappointment, 'why can't I be happy?' 'why can't I find a partner?' 'Why have I always been alone?'

Experiencing life is important otherwise loneliness will just eat at you and you will be ultimately disappointed.

that's it. many people who are said to be lonely aren't really in contempt with that decision... unlike me! when I talk about being alone I don't mean alone literally, I mean not to get attached to anyone who could eventually break my heart. that's exactly what I mean

What about your girlfriend?