Am I being petty?

[Tiina63]

Until this friend refused, noone had refused before. It reminds me of the time about 7 or 8 years ago when we were both smokers. I didn't smoke indoors but only in the yard. One day it was raining and she visited so I asked her to stand just inside the kitchen door so she wouldn't get wet and to blow her smoke outside. Instead she stood right inside the kitchen, in the middle of the floor,
to smoke. I feel like saying to her that I don't want her to come here any more and that we will have to always meet downtown.

 

[Nuzzy Nuz]

Lol you sound me... Just 2 hours back I was screaming at my brother for smoking right inside my room... It was really choking me out since I already had got a cold and everything in my room smells of smoke.. I hate that smell.. errrgghhh... -_-

 

[jd7]

Lol you sound me... Just 2 hours back I was screaming at my brother for smoking right inside my room... It was really choking me out since I already had got a cold and everything in my room smells of smoke.. I hate that smell.. errrgghhh... -_-

No smoking inside! Smoking inside is sooo 1980s...

 

[SophiaGrace]

Lol you sound me... Just 2 hours back I was screaming at my brother for smoking right inside my room... It was really choking me out since I already had got a cold and everything in my room smells of smoke.. I hate that smell.. errrgghhh... -_-

No smoking inside! Smoking inside is sooo 1980s...

Remember when there used to be smoking and nonsmoking sections inside restaurants?

 

[jd7]

Lol you sound me... Just 2 hours back I was screaming at my brother for smoking right inside my room... It was really choking me out since I already had got a cold and everything in my room smells of smoke.. I hate that smell.. errrgghhh... -_-

No smoking inside! Smoking inside is sooo 1980s...

Remember when there used to be smoking and nonsmoking sections inside restaurants?

Yes. Because smoke logically follows invisible boundaries.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Lol you sound me... Just 2 hours back I was screaming at my brother for smoking right inside my room... It was really choking me out since I already had got a cold and everything in my room smells of smoke.. I hate that smell.. errrgghhh... -_-

No smoking inside! Smoking inside is sooo 1980s...

Remember when there used to be smoking and nonsmoking sections inside restaurants?

Yes. Because smoke logically follows invisible boundaries.

*smiles*

I think before they did that, people just smoked everywhere.

It's funny, one of the first things they did was segregate the smokers. I guess people segregate things they want to get rid of (like homeless people). I know now on my college campus there are only 3 places on campus a person is allowed to smoke. And they're all outside. So smokers have to be miserable in the rain for the most part. Before then you had to be 20 feet away from the building.

We remove from ourselves the things we don't want, increasing the proxemity until it peters out or is out of sight out of mind.

 

[jd7]

Lol you sound me... Just 2 hours back I was screaming at my brother for smoking right inside my room... It was really choking me out since I already had got a cold and everything in my room smells of smoke.. I hate that smell.. errrgghhh... -_-

No smoking inside! Smoking inside is sooo 1980s...

Remember when there used to be smoking and nonsmoking sections inside restaurants?

Yes. Because smoke logically follows invisible boundaries.

*smiles*

I think before they did that, people just smoked everywhere.

It's funny, one of the first things they did was segregate the smokers. I guess people segregate things they want to get rid of (like homeless people). I know now on my college campus there are only 3 places on campus a person is allowed to smoke. And they're all outside. So smokers have to be miserable in the rain for the most part. Before then you had to be 20 feet away from the building.

We remove from ourselves the things we don't want, increasing the proxemity until it peters out or is out of sight out of mind.

Your campus still allows smoking? Both schools I attend are 100% tobacco-free. Not even in your own car!

 

[SophiaGrace]

No smoking inside! Smoking inside is sooo 1980s...

Remember when there used to be smoking and nonsmoking sections inside restaurants?

Yes. Because smoke logically follows invisible boundaries.

*smiles*

I think before they did that, people just smoked everywhere.

It's funny, one of the first things they did was segregate the smokers. I guess people segregate things they want to get rid of (like homeless people). I know now on my college campus there are only 3 places on campus a person is allowed to smoke. And they're all outside. So smokers have to be miserable in the rain for the most part. Before then you had to be 20 feet away from the building.

We remove from ourselves the things we don't want, increasing the proxemity until it peters out or is out of sight out of mind.

Your campus still allows smoking? Both schools I attend are 100% tobacco-free. Not even in your own car!

Okay and I thought my campus was strict.

 

[Tiina63]

My friend phoned last night and we talked about the no shoes indoors situation. She has agreed not to wear shoes in my house anymore.

 

[greenapple271]

No it's not petty. It's your house. There is this clear plastic stuff you can buy that's shaped like a path that's made to protect carpet.

 

[jd7]

My friend phoned last night and we talked about the no shoes indoors situation. She has agreed not to wear shoes in my house anymore.

Agreed? Did she force you into concessions?

I suspect you are a very nice person.

 

[Peaches]

My friend phoned last night and we talked about the no shoes indoors situation. She has agreed not to wear shoes in my house anymore.

Agreed? Did she force you into concessions?

I suspect you are a very nice person.

that's great happy for your floors

 

[HappyYogi]

I agree with everyone else.

How rude and inconsiderate of her!

I take off my shoes before my house. It's gross! But even if it weren't it's your house, your rules!

Tina I want to ask you something. Do you attract people who don't respect you often?

Because I relate to this. I truly believe, at least for me, people were treating me as I was treating myself. If I wasn't respecting myself I'd attract disrespect and criticism. I really think others mirror your internal dialogue of self worth/value.

Do you think Tina? I hate to see you treated badly.

---

 

[Tiina63]

Yes, I do attract people who do not respect me much. I have even noticed several times that when I first meet someone, they will treat me with respect, but gradually the 'shift' begins and they start to treat me with not much respect. I have wondered what signals I give off which lets people know that they can treat me badly?

 

[Peaches]

i get absolutely the same - is it possible that when someone is always polite most people see it as a weakness and an indication to "doormat"? You have to get their respect, and through that phone call you probably did

 

[SophiaGrace]

deleted

 

[Rosebolt]

Yes, I do attract people who do not respect me much. I have even noticed several times that when I first meet someone, they will treat me with respect, but gradually the 'shift' begins and they start to treat me with not much respect. I have wondered what signals I give off which lets people know that they can treat me badly?

Maybe you don't treat yourself with much respect either? People pick up on such things.

 

[sothatwasmylife]

I bought a new good quality carpet for my hall several months ago and since then mine has been a 'no outside shoes indoors' house as I want the carpet to stay decent. I told my friend about this and so when she came today I expected her to slip off her shoes just inside the door. She refused, saying that she had missed a bus and had to get another one and so felt too hassled. So I asked her to wait by the door so I could put newspaper down on the carpet (I do this when I take my shopping trolley out to the supermarket). Anyway, she walked up the hall still in her shoes instead of waiting by the door and kept them on. I put newspaper down in the hall before we left. I said that we will meet elsewhere in future because of this. (She hardly ever comes to my house and we normally meet elsewhere, so it isn't a major change). But it has left me feeling that she didn't respect me or my home. Am I being petty in feeling this way or would you (reading this) feel this way as well? I don't have a greatd eal of money and the carpet is a good one.
I meant to put this in miscellaneous. Perhaps a moderator could move it for me as I don't know how to do this?

I understand where your coming from but I guess I personally would be offended...if my shoes were reasonably clean it would actually feel as if your actions were directed at me...just being honest.. !!! Hope you can repair things with your friend without any great difficulty

 

[Peaches]

in Japan and many other countries everyone leaves their shoes outside, it's just costume

 

[VanillaCreme]

No it's not petty. It's your house. There is this clear plastic stuff you can buy that's shaped like a path that's made to protect carpet.

I don't know about anyone else, but I don't particularly like those plastic runners. I don't mean to offend anyone who has them or uses them, but I think they're cheap, and I'd probably never use them on a constant basis in a home that I owned and lived in. Some people that I grew up around all my life used the plastic runners and their carpets were still dirtier than a mofo. So, it was pointless to even lay them down.

So, to avoid undesirable plastic runners, I'll just insist on people removing their mud-caked shoes if they're planning to spend more than a quick few seconds in the house.