lizzy12788
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- Feb 10, 2012
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So, my “boyfriend” of 5 months is not acting like a boyfriend at all. In fact, come to think of it, he hasn’t really acted like a boyfriend at all the entire time we’ve been together. And, I’m almost to the point of telling him you either shape up or I’m shipping out!!
Okay, so here’s the background: we work together—in fact, he’s MY BOSS!! Of course we work for a company in which if ANYONE ever found out we dated, we both would get the ax. And, he would have more to lose than I, since he is higher up on the hierarchy.
I hate the job and I have been looking for another job for the past couple of months anyway (but sadly I have no prospects—the hunt continues). In fact, we both admitted to each other, that we hate the company (he’s finally applying to law school, thanks to this little lady who motivated him to get the ball rolling) But anyway, we also hate the secrecy, too—we just want to be able to breathe and not worry and look over our shoulders whenever we go out in public—afraid of ‘someone’ catching us.
By the way, we are only 4 years apart. So, this isn’t the 24 year old going after the 40 -something year old married man. Just want to make that clear to everyone!
And, to top it all off, his mother moved in with him a month ago from Boston, because she needed a change with her own life. I have no problem with his mother at all. We actually get together like two peas in a pod!....However, they are getting/moving into a bigger apartment next month—yippie :-/
I realize that he has a lot on his plate right now: to be turning 28 years old next month and having your mom live with you isn’t cool; secretly dating your subordinate and risking losing your job; and speaking of said job, working double the hours because this is our ‘busy season’; applying to law school; not having time for yourself, friends, and your music (he plays guitar and is really good, but of course, he wants to become ‘great’ at it; and it’s a ‘release’ for him, too—I totally support that because I’m musical, too. So I know where he’s coming from).
HOWEVER, WITH ALL THAT SAID….where do I fit in, the “girlfriend”? I feel like a ‘back-burner’ or ‘an after-thought’. He doesn’t call or text me to wish me good-night, or to check in and see what I’m up to, or ‘just because he was thinking about me’ etc. Oh, I should let you know, that the only time he does call/text me, is when he’s going out to the bar. In which case, I’m the ‘responsible’ one that drives him and his friends home because they are too drunk and/or too high on pot to operate heavy machinery—AND that’s when we have sex. Speaking of sex, he doesn’t “go down” on me. And FYI, I keep that sh** clean and fresh, too! Also, I’m ALWAYS on top, which is fun, but geez, jazz it up a bit buddy! Be creative! I feel like it’s more about him getting off, rather then the both of us! When it’s all over within 10-15 minutes, it only takes 60 seconds for him to pass out! And, here I am left wide awake wondering “WHAT THE HELL?!”
Not to mention, we never go on dates. In fact, he “forgot” our date (which I coordinated) yesterday! We were suppose to car to an international car expo (I thought it would be cool, since we both are into cars) and I reminded him how many times beforehand.
Now, I did a little experiment yesterday: I didn’t call/text him the whole day….I wanted to see if he remembered me at all…. Well, when I got to work and coolly reminded him that he completely forgot, I got a simple, “I’m sorry” and that was that! No call or text after work tonight at all from him. Not a peep! GRRR!!!
I know the girlfriend before me broke his heart really bad (according to his friends, but they assured me it was a long time ago). But sometimes, I feel as though I’m competing for his heart—like I’m competing with a ghost from his past. He use to bring up her name all the time in conversation, and I told him to knock it off and told him how it made me feel, which he apologized and hasn’t brought her up since…but I can’t help but wonder if his heart still belongs to her.
I gave him a very thoughtful Christmas present. A few other small gifts here and there. He didn’t give me a birthday present, nor did anything for my birthday 2 weeks ago---and Lord knows I’m not holding my breath for a Valentine’s Day (UGH! I hate how I already ordered his present!).
He never does anything “special” for me—no presents, no flowers, doesn’t open up to me and let me know what he is thinking, etc. And, I know I shouldn’t base our relationship around just those things, but I do like the little things, too, ya know? I feel like I’m nothing more than his chauffeur or taxi for when he’s been drinking/getting high and a good f**k when I bring him home from the bar—and that’s our “date night” or our time “hanging out”.
I’m ready to just lay it out there and tell him: I’m in love with you! Frankly, I don’t know why I am, because you don’t treat me the way I should be treated! You either realize what you have in front of you—a beautiful, smart, funny, kind, all-around amazing woman! A woman who everyone (your friends and mother) is telling you that I am the best thing for you and to not let me go! And, you’ll be the biggest idiot to let me go! You are walking on a fine line , mister and you are risking of losing me! You either realize and change your ways, or I’M GONE! And, I will find someone who will treat me good! (The sad part is just that, I am deeply in love with him and I can’t bare the thought of actually leaving him!)
So I’m going to ask: AM I CRAZY OR DO I HAVE A VAILD POINT?!
So sorry for the long post, but this has just been bottling up inside me for the longest time! Thank you to all who respond
Okay, so here’s the background: we work together—in fact, he’s MY BOSS!! Of course we work for a company in which if ANYONE ever found out we dated, we both would get the ax. And, he would have more to lose than I, since he is higher up on the hierarchy.
I hate the job and I have been looking for another job for the past couple of months anyway (but sadly I have no prospects—the hunt continues). In fact, we both admitted to each other, that we hate the company (he’s finally applying to law school, thanks to this little lady who motivated him to get the ball rolling) But anyway, we also hate the secrecy, too—we just want to be able to breathe and not worry and look over our shoulders whenever we go out in public—afraid of ‘someone’ catching us.
By the way, we are only 4 years apart. So, this isn’t the 24 year old going after the 40 -something year old married man. Just want to make that clear to everyone!
And, to top it all off, his mother moved in with him a month ago from Boston, because she needed a change with her own life. I have no problem with his mother at all. We actually get together like two peas in a pod!....However, they are getting/moving into a bigger apartment next month—yippie :-/
I realize that he has a lot on his plate right now: to be turning 28 years old next month and having your mom live with you isn’t cool; secretly dating your subordinate and risking losing your job; and speaking of said job, working double the hours because this is our ‘busy season’; applying to law school; not having time for yourself, friends, and your music (he plays guitar and is really good, but of course, he wants to become ‘great’ at it; and it’s a ‘release’ for him, too—I totally support that because I’m musical, too. So I know where he’s coming from).
HOWEVER, WITH ALL THAT SAID….where do I fit in, the “girlfriend”? I feel like a ‘back-burner’ or ‘an after-thought’. He doesn’t call or text me to wish me good-night, or to check in and see what I’m up to, or ‘just because he was thinking about me’ etc. Oh, I should let you know, that the only time he does call/text me, is when he’s going out to the bar. In which case, I’m the ‘responsible’ one that drives him and his friends home because they are too drunk and/or too high on pot to operate heavy machinery—AND that’s when we have sex. Speaking of sex, he doesn’t “go down” on me. And FYI, I keep that sh** clean and fresh, too! Also, I’m ALWAYS on top, which is fun, but geez, jazz it up a bit buddy! Be creative! I feel like it’s more about him getting off, rather then the both of us! When it’s all over within 10-15 minutes, it only takes 60 seconds for him to pass out! And, here I am left wide awake wondering “WHAT THE HELL?!”
Not to mention, we never go on dates. In fact, he “forgot” our date (which I coordinated) yesterday! We were suppose to car to an international car expo (I thought it would be cool, since we both are into cars) and I reminded him how many times beforehand.
Now, I did a little experiment yesterday: I didn’t call/text him the whole day….I wanted to see if he remembered me at all…. Well, when I got to work and coolly reminded him that he completely forgot, I got a simple, “I’m sorry” and that was that! No call or text after work tonight at all from him. Not a peep! GRRR!!!
I know the girlfriend before me broke his heart really bad (according to his friends, but they assured me it was a long time ago). But sometimes, I feel as though I’m competing for his heart—like I’m competing with a ghost from his past. He use to bring up her name all the time in conversation, and I told him to knock it off and told him how it made me feel, which he apologized and hasn’t brought her up since…but I can’t help but wonder if his heart still belongs to her.
I gave him a very thoughtful Christmas present. A few other small gifts here and there. He didn’t give me a birthday present, nor did anything for my birthday 2 weeks ago---and Lord knows I’m not holding my breath for a Valentine’s Day (UGH! I hate how I already ordered his present!).
He never does anything “special” for me—no presents, no flowers, doesn’t open up to me and let me know what he is thinking, etc. And, I know I shouldn’t base our relationship around just those things, but I do like the little things, too, ya know? I feel like I’m nothing more than his chauffeur or taxi for when he’s been drinking/getting high and a good f**k when I bring him home from the bar—and that’s our “date night” or our time “hanging out”.
I’m ready to just lay it out there and tell him: I’m in love with you! Frankly, I don’t know why I am, because you don’t treat me the way I should be treated! You either realize what you have in front of you—a beautiful, smart, funny, kind, all-around amazing woman! A woman who everyone (your friends and mother) is telling you that I am the best thing for you and to not let me go! And, you’ll be the biggest idiot to let me go! You are walking on a fine line , mister and you are risking of losing me! You either realize and change your ways, or I’M GONE! And, I will find someone who will treat me good! (The sad part is just that, I am deeply in love with him and I can’t bare the thought of actually leaving him!)
So I’m going to ask: AM I CRAZY OR DO I HAVE A VAILD POINT?!
So sorry for the long post, but this has just been bottling up inside me for the longest time! Thank you to all who respond