Am I selfish to think this way?

[ordinaryDude]

In this forum all my posts have been very negative, sorry if that annoys you.

Apart from my faith in GOD and the though of hurting my parents there's nothing that can stop me from ending my life.

I'm saying this at a very cool mood. I'm 27 now, and I'm starting to realize my life is taking a massive change very soon. As I'm from a country where the families are very close, responsibility is heaping up day by day.

With all these responsibilities come loads of work, and because I don't like working I'm already pretty tired of life, so I don't really want to marry ever or have a girlfriend because that's another massive responsibility. Apart from these responsibilities, I realized that as we get older our body gets worse, it starts breaking up, I won't remain the cute looking chap(albeit a midget) as I'm still now. Moreover, as you get older, your dependency on money increases, life starts revolving around money, money becomes everything.

All in all, life is becoming tough and ugly, and I don't really find it worthy to live in. I have fulfilled most of my wishes, going to a top university, visiting many different countries, I don't have much to look forward to apart from some rubbish responsibilities.

So, I'm thinking of getting rid of life. My question to you is that, am I being selfish to escape life to avoid the ugly parts and responsibilities of it?

 

[Jently]

No I don't think you're being selfish it's just the way you feel at the moment - emphasis on 'at the moment'!
You feel weighed down by the family responsibilities you have, but your family will not be there forever. Can you try and imagine for a moment how you will feel when they are not here any more?
Imagine a world where you are alone - no family, no responsibilities just isolation and aloneness. Do you think you would feel happier then? That is a genuine question. I am trying to understand what it is that you want from life and what would make you happy.

J

 

[ordinaryDude]

No I don't think you're being selfish it's just the way you feel at the moment - emphasis on 'at the moment'!
You feel weighed down by the family responsibilities you have, but your family will not be there forever. Can you try and imagine for a moment how you will feel when they are not here any more?
Imagine a world where you are alone - no family, no responsibilities just isolation and aloneness. Do you think you would feel happier then? That is a genuine question. I am trying to understand what it is that you want from life and what would make you happy.

J

I feel my family has always been judgmental towards me, and may be I'm too have been towards them. So, I'm not really sure how much I love them. Even though I support them financially every month, in last 5 years I've only spent one month with them(I've been in Europe since), and I don't really miss them, especially these days because after 30 odd years of marriage my parents fight too frequently. I think my dad's illness has taken a toll on their relationship.

So, if they didn't exist, I'm not sure what my feeling would be, but I think I'd have more freedom, I can have more money to travel around the world, I can afford to live in rural areas back in my country and enjoy the nature and wouldn't have to bother what my parents. I have a feeling I might actually enjoy living so alone.

 

[TheSkaFish]

In this forum all my posts have been very negative, sorry if that annoys you.

Apart from my faith in GOD and the though of hurting my parents there's nothing that can stop me from ending my life.

I'm saying this at a very cool mood. I'm 27 now, and I'm starting to realize my life is taking a massive change very soon. As I'm from a country where the families are very close, responsibility is heaping up day by day.

With all these responsibilities come loads of work, and because I don't like working I'm already pretty tired of life, so I don't really want to marry ever or have a girlfriend because that's another massive responsibility. Apart from these responsibilities, I realized that as we get older our body gets worse, it starts breaking up, I won't remain the cute looking chap(albeit a midget) as I'm still now. Moreover, as you get older, your dependency on money increases, life starts revolving around money, money becomes everything.

All in all, life is becoming tough and ugly, and I don't really find it worthy to live in. I have fulfilled most of my wishes, going to a top university, visiting many different countries, I don't have much to look forward to apart from some rubbish responsibilities.

So, I'm thinking of getting rid of life. My question to you is that, am I being selfish to escape life to avoid the ugly parts and responsibilities of it?

Not to be a jerk, but I would say yes it is selfish. More than that, I'd say it's just a terrible decision. It is a terrible waste. You're so lucky to be alive, let alone in the modern era.

I don't think it's too cool, and I don't think very highly of those who go through with it, or even attempt it. It's the ultimate act of defeatism, in my book. This includes even some musicians whose songs I like. The only time I would think it is excusable, is if you were terminally ill or something.

I mean, there are lots of humans and animals all over the world who want to live, but are denied life. To throw your life away, it's like spitting on all of them, if you ask me.

Again, I'm not attacking you. I just feel that suicide is very lame. I guarantee you it's not the answer.

Anyway. Enough about that. You said you went to a top university, so let me ask you this - why did you go to a top university, why did you do all that work, if you believe that it would not help you make money? I can almost assure you your resume is better than mine.

You know, I feel the way you feel often. I have to remind myself first thing every morning before the doom-and-gloom thoughts take over because they will if i go through my day on autopilot. I remind myself that I can get past this, that life isn't going to be just paying bills and being miserable, that life holds more for me than that. That I will get to have adventures and memories and stories and ideas and good times. I know I want to keep going. I know there's more I want to do. I grew up thinking that other people were just stronger, smarter, better than me and that I couldn't get on their level let alone exceed it, that I was just someone who couldn't make money but now I'm throwing that away because it won't help me be well. I look at the people who grew up with me and they are making money and I know I'm every bit as capable as them at least. I know it could get better than this.

Yesterday, I had a business idea quite by accident. The more I think about it, the more I think there really is room for my product because it's very delicious and I've never seen it in stores. I don't want to give away what it is, all I'll say is that it is a food. I don't really know how to make it yet, but I know someone who does who may be able to help me. I think I'm really going to give this some serious thought, once the ground underneath my feet is more stable. I've written it down so I won't forget.

I hope I can get down to making this soon before someone beats me to the punch. Honestly, I never saw myself as much of a food person, and I hope the learning curve won't be too steep. I'd like to get into my creative things too, I'd like to make sure I can devote time to them. But this idea I have is something I don't see anyone else getting on, and not to blow my own pipe but I do believe there's a place for it so I think it's my best shot at making money for now at least.

My point is you never know when you'll get a good idea for a business that will blow all your money problems away. It COULD happen. It's a lot more likely than some other things in this world. I know someone who is always reading business books, for about 4 years now he says. The important thing to remember is that it doesn't just come from nowhere.

I encourage you to keep trying, keep showing up every day. Don't be a quitter. I guarantee life will get better than money problems, man. Keep on keeping on.

 

[Wayfarer]

Don't worry about negative posts; after all, I believe this forum is also here for this reason: so we can externalize our problems or worries, talk it out with other people, and maybe overcome them or gain a new outlook on them.

Life = Responsibility, that's for sure. Having said that, I know we all have some days where we feel blue, and that's normal, I guess.
I understand the fact that having a difficult familiar situation and living far from your family you would think like you do.

However saying that if they didn't exist everything would be better is just taking the easy way out of your predictament.

To tell you the truth, I actually thought about suicide myself at one point in my life. But in the end I realized that at best this would only result in some people close to me being sad and that at worst noone would care about it. Moreover, I would just disappear from this world without even having tried living.

I have found my answer, it's up to you to find yours. As for me, I will live to the bitter end and strive to be a person I can be proud of. I want to be able to say that I did my best in life or at least that I did not give up. I will not lose.

You shouldn't either. Anyhow, this is just what I think. Feel free to reply if you have something to add so that I am able to understand you better. Bye ​

 

[ordinaryDude]

Not to be a jerk, but I would say yes it is selfish. More than that, I'd say it's just a terrible decision. It is a terrible waste. You're so lucky to be alive, let alone in the modern era.

I don't think it's too cool, and I don't think very highly of those who go through with it, or even attempt it. It's the ultimate act of defeatism, in my book. This includes even some musicians whose songs I like. The only time I would think it is excusable, is if you were terminally ill or something.

I mean, there are lots of humans and animals all over the world who want to live, but are denied life. To throw your life away, it's like spitting on all of them, if you ask me.

Again, I'm not attacking you. I just feel that suicide is very lame. I guarantee you it's not the answer.

Anyway. Enough about that. You said you went to a top university, so let me ask you this - why did you go to a top university, why did you do all that work, if you believe that it would not help you make money? I can almost assure you your resume is better than mine.

You know, I feel the way you feel often. I have to remind myself first thing every morning before the doom-and-gloom thoughts take over because they will if i go through my day on autopilot. I remind myself that I can get past this, that life isn't going to be just paying bills and being miserable, that life holds more for me than that. That I will get to have adventures and memories and stories and ideas and good times. I know I want to keep going. I know there's more I want to do. I grew up thinking that other people were just stronger, smarter, better than me and that I couldn't get on their level let alone exceed it, that I was just someone who couldn't make money but now I'm throwing that away because it won't help me be well. I look at the people who grew up with me and they are making money and I know I'm every bit as capable as them at least. I know it could get better than this.

Yesterday, I had a business idea quite by accident. The more I think about it, the more I think there really is room for my product because it's very delicious and I've never seen it in stores. I don't want to give away what it is, all I'll say is that it is a food. I don't really know how to make it yet, but I know someone who does who may be able to help me. I think I'm really going to give this some serious thought, once the ground underneath my feet is more stable. I've written it down so I won't forget.

I hope I can get down to making this soon before someone beats me to the punch. Honestly, I never saw myself as much of a food person, and I hope the learning curve won't be too steep. I'd like to get into my creative things too, I'd like to make sure I can devote time to them. But this idea I have is something I don't see anyone else getting on, and not to blow my own pipe but I do believe there's a place for it so I think it's my best shot at making money for now at least.

My point is you never know when you'll get a good idea for a business that will blow all your money problems away. It COULD happen. It's a lot more likely than some other things in this world. I know someone who is always reading business books, for about 4 years now he says. The important thing to remember is that it doesn't just come from nowhere.

I encourage you to keep trying, keep showing up every day. Don't be a quitter. I guarantee life will get better than money problems, man. Keep on keeping on.

I went to the university for my satisfaction, I wanted to prove myself that I'm smart enough, that ambition is kinda fulfilled now. I actually didn't have to pay much because I studied my B.Sc in Sweden and M.Sc in Germany, I didn't have to pay tuition fees there.

Everyone's life is different, why should I compare my life with someone who happens to die early despite having a wish to live longer? My point is I didn't want life at the first place, life just happens to have occurred for me and it's really painstaking. Why should I go through something which I never want in the first place?

Life is not for everyone, it's for the ones who are blessed with patience, I'm not, so, in my view it's not for me. If my creator wanted me to live a long life, he should have made me with calmness, patience, perseverance and other qualities that helps longevity.

---

Don't worry about negative posts; after all, I believe this forum is also here for this reason: so we can externalize our problems or worries, talk it out with other people, and maybe overcome them or gain a new outlook on them.

Life = Responsibility, that's for sure. Having said that, I know we all have some days where we feel blue, and that's normal, I guess.
I understand the fact that having a difficult familiar situation and living far from your family you would think like you do.

However saying that if they didn't exist everything would be better is just taking the easy way out of your predictament.

To tell you the truth, I actually thought about suicide myself at one point in my life. But in the end I realized that at best this would only result in some people close to me being sad and that at worst noone would care about it. Moreover, I would just disappear from this world without even having tried living.

I have found my answer, it's up to you to find yours. As for me, I will live to the bitter end and strive to be a person I can be proud of. I want to be able to say that I did my best in life or at least that I did not give up. I will not lose.

You shouldn't either. Anyhow, this is just what I think. Feel free to reply if you have something to add so that I am able to understand you better. Bye ​

Why is it important that some would cry for me or someone would care that I'm dying? And why is it important to try to live? I mean we will all eventually die, and the more we live, the older we get and the uglier life gets with age. Why should we live through such ugly parts of life? Why not die at an young age when life is still quite fun.

I mean, my thought is similar to many sportsmen' thoughts. They retire when they are still on the high, so that they can still have their prestige. Shouldn't we be doing the same, dying at an age when we are still enjoying life with a proper health and body, so that we don't have to go through the ugly old years?

 

[TheRealCallie]

It is your life, so you are entitled to feel how you feel, although, I believe some of the things you've said are selfish.

Aside from that though, what have you done to try to want to be a part of life? You went to college, you have a job, but it doesn't seem like you wanted those things all that much.
You mentioned traveling. If you were free to do that, would you feel a bit more optimistic about life? What about hobbies or volunteering or anything that could make you want to be a part of life?

 

[JHK]

If being alone is what you want, why not just go? Elope with yourself and live a simple life.