am i unlovable

[ninako]

i just got dumped for the third time in the past two weeks
whats wrong with me
why dont people like me

 

[BadGuy]

i just got dumped for the third time in the past two weeks
whats wrong with me
why dont people like me

3 times in two weeks , some here might be happy getting three dates in two weeks

Pump the brakes ... take some time ... get to know the person

 

[ninako]

one of them we were together four months..its not a super long time but ive never felt like that before

 

[h3donist]

What reason did they give for leaving you?

 

[ninako]

i want something unconditional and stable. im emotionally iffy [but as long as i take my medicine im like this, at worst]. thats all

 

[M_also_lonely]

Have a break. Its not compulsory to always be in a relationship. Really, u didnt even wait for a week to get with somebody else??Well, does that reflect a loyal nature from u?
There r so many important things to be done. Its not a boyfriend/girlfriend the only person that can make u happy. U r the greatest person that can make u happy.
Do not hurry up. Develop deep friendship. Frienship builds trust. And for any relationship, Trust is Must.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

You sound young, when we are young we tend to feel short periods of time are longer than they actually are. As such you can also get bored faster. So I say relax a little bit. Maybe get to know yourself a little bit.

You say that you want something unconditional such things take time to build. You seem to be very inwardly focused. What about what the other person wants? From the posts I have read it seems like you do not care about what that other person wants. You just want that other person there to provide stability and understanding. I doubt that you will find someone like that. It really sounds like you need to get all your ducks in a row before you involve another person in your life.

But hey look on the brightside you have a ton more experience than me. I have only ever had one female in my life. I know that the only reason she bothered with me was because she wanted anything because it had been too long. So take pride in knowing that you are at least appealing enough to warrant a chance. You could be like me so very unappealing that you do not get a chance unless there are extreme circumstances.

 

[Tealeaf]

There are a few problems with trying person after person... namely that dating is a numbers game where most people aren't very compatible with each other to begin with, and also that you don't have time to discern who does and doesn't care in the first place. You stand to lose a lot if you hold out your heart and ask for anyone who'll have it to take it.

Some people look at other people and practically start drooling, because what they see is money, sympathy, sex, possessions, and status. Don't invite them in. Just because a man is nice to you and will go on a date doesn't mean he's honest, trustworthy, or into you long-term. I feel like most women know this and for some reason choose to actively ignore it at times, but I feel I should keep saying it, anyway.

It's also been said that, while connection might be immediate, closeness and trust takes time to develop. There are no shortcuts and a lot of people feel uncomfortable when the expectation to feel certain things is placed on them. It's part of why meeting new people again and again is so exhausting, because you're building up to the same levels time and time again from the start. Assuming you're particularly compatible in the first place, that is.

 

[shadetree]

I think alot of it right now is because youre younger and the people youre dating arent ready to settle down. I remember when i was in highschool feeling lonely thinking id never get a girlfriend etc, then when i did find one it scared the hell out of me lol. So i mean theres a lot of different reasons people come and go when it comes to relationships, they can think theyre ready, but not be, some event happens and it changes their perspective, they start to see you differently after a bit of time, alot of guys who are young too are just in it for the physical part of the relationship. Sorry but just being honest. Not all are like that but alot. Its hormones, chemistry, all that basic science stuff none of us has much control over. The rest is immaturity but you cant be born into the world being mature it takes time. So dont feel bad about whats happened, just like some of the others said, take some time and relax and if something good comes along thats great. If it doesnt, just enjoy life and dont feel like you need somebody to complete you. It doesnt define who you are having a significant other or not.

Theres actually quite a few benefits to being single. I been married a long time and i love my wife dont want to leave or anything like that but at times i do miss having the freedom that comes with being single.

Just try to live your life as best you can and take what it throws your way and enjoy the ride. When the times right that person youre meant to be with will find you and you them.

 

[ninako]

thanks everyone. i want to note that these arent young, immature guys. theyre a few years ahead of me [the special one is five years up] also looking for something stable. i dont care if im remotely appealing; i want someone that will love me for me. im not looking for freedom. id rather be with someone who would fight to keep me by their side. i know i want a lot of someone, but id give just as much. i know i have a lot of problems, and i find it insulting of you to simply repeat them, AFrozenSoul and M_also_lonely. Crazy people can want love too.

im doing my best to forget and take care of myself. i wont be looking for more of these predicaments any time soon.

 

[M_also_lonely]

Heyy heyy I m telling this to you bcz if u keep wanting someone, you wont be able to understand your innerself. Give yourself a time to discover your abilities. I am not saying that u shouldn't have somebody right now.

 

[h3donist]

thanks everyone. i want to note that these arent young, immature guys. theyre a few years ahead of me [the special one is five years up] also looking for something stable. i dont care if im remotely appealing; i want someone that will love me for me. im not looking for freedom. id rather be with someone who would fight to keep me by their side. i know i want a lot of someone, but id give just as much. i know i have a lot of problems, and i find it insulting of you to simply repeat them, AFrozenSoul and M_also_lonely. Crazy people can want love too.

im doing my best to forget and take care of myself. i wont be looking for more of these predicaments any time soon.

I really hope you find the happiness you are looking for - it breaks my heart to read posts like yours where all you want is to be loved and cared for. I guess that's what we all want at the end of the day

*internet hug*

 

[AFrozenSoul]

thanks everyone. i want to note that these arent young, immature guys. theyre a few years ahead of me [the special one is five years up] also looking for something stable. i dont care if im remotely appealing; i want someone that will love me for me. im not looking for freedom. id rather be with someone who would fight to keep me by their side. i know i want a lot of someone, but id give just as much. i know i have a lot of problems, and i find it insulting of you to simply repeat them, AFrozenSoul and M_also_lonely. Crazy people can want love too.

im doing my best to forget and take care of myself. i wont be looking for more of these predicaments any time soon.

Alright, I guess that you arennot listening, I said that you are young. Anyway, I think that if you want love you need to start with the one person who is already around you all the time, yourself. Believe it or not loving yourself can go a long way. I do not believe that you have any love for yourself. That will turn people off. Mainly because you never know when that hatred will be directed at you.

You need to accept that just having one or two desires in common is not enough to build a relationship on. Most people want something stable, but that doesn’t mean that they will commit to the first person they date. Everyone wants love, but that doesn't mean that love can wipe away all the negative effects that you bring to their lives.

Anyway I will stand by my original advice of loving yourself. I think that you need to step back and love yourself first and not pin your love solely on that person you deem your mate.

 

[TheRealCallie]

i know i have a lot of problems, and i find it insulting of you to simply repeat them, AFrozenSoul and M_also_lonely. Crazy people can want love too.

I don't believe either one of them were being insulting or where they brought up your problems? Maybe I missed something. I have to agree with what they said, though. It's good advice.

I did the whole jumping around from guy to guy every few weeks a long time ago, back then I didn't see it, but now I can see that I did it because I didn't want to be alone. I'm not saying that's why you're doing it, but until you can look at the situation from another perspective, you won't know.