i know another post from me talking about how alone i am.
during my shift during slow periods my mind drifted back to how things used to be with him. the way he would look at me before he kissed me, how he use to rub my thigh when we would sit on my bed and talk. but its starting to feel more like something that i am imagining rather than a memory. it's depressing to think that its starting to feel like i never got to have him at all.
so i'm sitting here alone. i went through my phone trying to think of someone to hang out. every person i know is actually with their boyfriend or girlfriend this evening. i know its pathetic to be upset about that. i'm happy for all of them, but i guess it didn't dawn on me all my friends have someone now. i do still get to see them, but they want to be alone with the person they are seeing more. completely understandable. i just wish i didn't have to spend 5 out of 7 of my nights alone and the other two surrounded by happy couples.
during my shift during slow periods my mind drifted back to how things used to be with him. the way he would look at me before he kissed me, how he use to rub my thigh when we would sit on my bed and talk. but its starting to feel more like something that i am imagining rather than a memory. it's depressing to think that its starting to feel like i never got to have him at all.
so i'm sitting here alone. i went through my phone trying to think of someone to hang out. every person i know is actually with their boyfriend or girlfriend this evening. i know its pathetic to be upset about that. i'm happy for all of them, but i guess it didn't dawn on me all my friends have someone now. i do still get to see them, but they want to be alone with the person they are seeing more. completely understandable. i just wish i didn't have to spend 5 out of 7 of my nights alone and the other two surrounded by happy couples.