Are shy guys really appreciated by women?

[Frito Bandito]

Find something worth caring about in life. Sometimes that isn't a person.

 

[MadMonkè]

I don't think all women cast aside shy men. That is a generalization. There are as many shades of woman out there as shades of men. However, they are rare.

Why would a woman "waste her time" on a shy man who can't "talk to her fluently"?

Idk, because I am not a woman. However I would guess that it would take a special woman (sensitive, deep) to be interested in such a man. She would also likely have the depth to realize all of his great qualities that she could pull out of him with a little coaxing. This does happen. It's not common though.

To say it doesn't happen from time to time would be to paint all women with the same broad strokes.

In my experience, shyness can be beneficial to a relationship. for one thing, there is less jealousy when said shy person is talking to other people... (good or bad?)

but being shy can create more barriers to fully let others in.
but with a select few, you should just let go and full out trust that whomever you decide to show your truth to, will accept you.

theres no point in love if masks are still on.
you want to get past the skin and into the heart.

 

[grainofrice24]

People classify shy peeople, nobody asks what drives shyness:

Is it that we're afraid - Yes.
Is it that we have too much pride to risk being wrong or saying something stupid? Yes
Is it because we are overly self concious (for various reasons)? Yes
Is it because we have low-self worth? Yes
Is it because we feel out-of-place? Yes
Do we try to fight it? Yes
Do we have reason to be shy/nervous? Yes!

Shy people are quite simply BAD people. We have no confidence...or self worth...FOR A REASON. Shyness isn't something that you are born with. It's a character trait that is developed. Women pass us up because they SHOULD pass us up. It's the right thing to do.

And no, trying to trick ourselves into loving ourselves is not an option...because it doesn't work.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Is it that we have too much pride to risk being wrong or saying something stupid? Yes

Shy people are quite simply BAD people. We have no confidence...or self worth...FOR A REASON. Shyness isn't something that you are born with. It's a character trait that is developed. Women pass us up because they SHOULD pass us up. It's the right thing to do.

Too much pride to risk being wrong? No. Saying something stupid? Yes

Bad people? I have to whole heartily disagree with that statement.

 

[Limlim]

Not so much bad people, but probably of less desirable quality than a not shy person.

 

[Okonkwo]

Of course there are some women that appreciate shy guys. There might even be a million women in this world that like shy guys. Keep in mind, however, that being shy is a disadvantage equivalent to having a missing limb or being a registered sex offender in today's world. Women who will give shy men a chance are far and few between. Planning on meeting one is like planning on winning the lottery so you can retire. It's just irresponsible.

 

[Felix]

People classify shy peeople, nobody asks what drives shyness:

Is it that we're afraid - Yes.
Is it that we have too much pride to risk being wrong or saying something stupid? Yes
Is it because we are overly self concious (for various reasons)? Yes
Is it because we have low-self worth? Yes
Is it because we feel out-of-place? Yes
Do we try to fight it? Yes
Do we have reason to be shy/nervous? Yes!

Shy people are quite simply BAD people. We have no confidence...or self worth...FOR A REASON. Shyness isn't something that you are born with. It's a character trait that is developed. Women pass us up because they SHOULD pass us up. It's the right thing to do.

And no, trying to trick ourselves into loving ourselves is not an option...because it doesn't work.

Not so black and white.
Shy people can have nice qualities like everyone else.
And are not bad persons at all in most cases. They're just bad to be with...

But I agree shyness is an undesirable quality a person should try to get over to get better at any social situation.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

People classify shy peeople, nobody asks what drives shyness:

Is it that we're afraid - Yes.
Is it that we have too much pride to risk being wrong or saying something stupid? Yes
Is it because we are overly self concious (for various reasons)? Yes
Is it because we have low-self worth? Yes
Is it because we feel out-of-place? Yes
Do we try to fight it? Yes
Do we have reason to be shy/nervous? Yes!

Shy people are quite simply BAD people. We have no confidence...or self worth...FOR A REASON. Shyness isn't something that you are born with. It's a character trait that is developed. Women pass us up because they SHOULD pass us up. It's the right thing to do.

And no, trying to trick ourselves into loving ourselves is not an option...because it doesn't work.

It's nice to see someone who isn't afraid to frankly state their views with honesty here. This pretty much correlates with my last post (#115) about shy guys having undesirable characteristics that could overrule their positive qualities. And I can certainly agree with the last part. Better to face reality as it is, than to live a lie.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Let me ask you...what about introverts?

You are born as an introvert. Most introverts are mistaken as shy, when they're not. They just prefer time by themselves sometimes.

I am both shy and an introvert, as defined by my psychologist. If I suddenly ditched the shyness, would I still be unattractive, because I wasn't the life of the party?

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

Let me ask you...what about introverts?

You are born as an introvert. Most introverts are mistaken as shy, when they're not. They just prefer time by themselves sometimes.

I am both shy and an introvert, as defined by my psychologist. If I suddenly ditched the shyness, would I still be unattractive, because I wasn't the life of the party?

You are free to make a thread about that and find out.

With so few women posting their opinions on this, I feel we aren't getting the real perspective here, if you ask me.

 

[Felix]

Both introvert and extrovert are necessary in this world.

We wouldn't even be typing in this computer if it wasn't for introverts

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

Both introvert and extrovert are necessary in this world.

We wouldn't even be typing in this computer if it wasn't for introverts

Care to explain why and how this is so? I'm clueless.
I know this is off-topic, but the OP brought it up after all.

---

Of course there are some women that appreciate shy guys. There might even be a million women in this world that like shy guys. Keep in mind, however, that being shy is a disadvantage equivalent to having a missing limb or being a registered sex offender in today's world. Women who will give shy men a chance are far and few between. Planning on meeting one is like planning on winning the lottery so you can retire. It's just irresponsible.

Although some of your words are contradictory, I believe what you point out is mainly right.

If a lady wishes to sit in the shade on a hot, sunny day, why would she want to sit under a tree that is dead and bare, when there is another tree that is bigger and lush with foliage?

Ah, I'm sure I will be alone forever.

 

[Felix]

Both introvert and extrovert are necessary in this world.

We wouldn't even be typing in this computer if it wasn't for introverts

Care to explain why and how this is so? I'm clueless.
I know this is off-topic, but the OP brought it up after all.

Eerr...

Ying and yang.

Female and man.

Soft and strong.

Dog and cat.

Dualitys, a concept that's just being absorbed by western world but our friends the asians know for a while now (even before mr. JC).

Basically means that in order to have balance, you must have complementary opposits. That keeps things "in order".

So (generalizing a bit) I think introvert people provide more to introspective things like art (writing, painting, sculpting...) and science (reserchers, tech nerds, astronomysts...). On the other hand extrovert people are good at social positions that require high degrees of leadership like being a president, boss in a company, salesman...

This aspects exist mixed in all of us, some just have more of tendency towards introvertion. That's why I said "generalizing a bit". Both aspects are necesary, the ability to look inside your own self is the only way to achieve originality and the ability to be extrovert is the only chance for you to share this with the rest of the world.

 

[Lombax]

I am a woman and, being socially awkward and shy as I am, I can understand shyness and I do not judge based on that at all. I know what shy people are going through, and I know shyness affects men just as much as women.

In fact, I find that the nicest guys tend to be shy, and to me the most attractive qualities are kindness, intelligence, and enthusiasm.

 

[Frito Bandito]

I am a woman and, being socially awkward and shy as I am, I can understand shyness and I do not judge based on that at all. I know what shy people are going through, and I know shyness affects men just as much as women.

In fact, I find that the nicest guys tend to be shy, and to me the most attractive qualities are kindness, intelligence, and enthusiasm.

You rule! If there were more like you, the guys on this forum would be super-happy! Clone yourself, no?

 

[Lombax]

I am a woman and, being socially awkward and shy as I am, I can understand shyness and I do not judge based on that at all. I know what shy people are going through, and I know shyness affects men just as much as women.

In fact, I find that the nicest guys tend to be shy, and to me the most attractive qualities are kindness, intelligence, and enthusiasm.

You rule! If there were more like you, the guys on this forum would be super-happy! Clone yourself, no?

Haha, well I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way!
The thing is that I am too shy myself to get to know the nice shy guys I meet, so nothing ever happens. I do appreciate them greatly, though, and I wish I had more courage!

 

[Ak5]

I am a woman and, being socially awkward and shy as I am, I can understand shyness and I do not judge based on that at all. I know what shy people are going through, and I know shyness affects men just as much as women.

In fact, I find that the nicest guys tend to be shy, and to me the most attractive qualities are kindness, intelligence, and enthusiasm.

You rule! If there were more like you, the guys on this forum would be super-happy! Clone yourself, no?

Ditto.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

Haha, well I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way!
The thing is that I am too shy myself to get to know the nice shy guys I meet, so nothing ever happens. I do appreciate them greatly, though, and I wish I had more courage!

Yeah, I realise that's the case for a lot of shy people. :/

 

[floffyschneeman]

As a woman, I appreciate a guy with genuine modesty. Meaning, I can talk to him without having to hold on my chair with sudden wind storm blowing from his direction. But also, too much shyness could be seen as something frustrating for people around you who try to build up your self-esteem. I always appreciate confidence in a guy but not the kind of confidence that he needs to show off but an honest self worth and values he follows with his every dealing with people. A guy who can say no yet knows how to compromise some of his comforts for the well fare of others. Someone with principles balanced with open mindedness. Someone who is stable, cos that view on women about how they like it when they make an effect on guys for his betterment, meaning when they can affect change in men is true, but at the end of the day, a girl will always feel safety with someone who knows how to stand for himself and the people he loves.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I am not that shy.

I am more like someone who is quiet, and then throws in random conversation. I can be silly and goofy, with someone I feel comfortable with (this includes hot women), but I have a hard time trusting people.

My therapist once said that my social anxiety/shyness came out of being hurt. I basically am quiet because that is my weapon of choice. I'd rather disassociate than get my feelings hurt again.