I just suggested the escort thing as a way to have companionship/friendship (especially outside of the realm of your friends who seem to be a point of despair as they are all, 'paired-up'). That's kind of why people pay therapists, really: some one to talk to. You are more likely to get some honesty there, if that's what you seek.
If anybody, from the lowliest of the low, to the highest of the high, had a fool-proof formula for finding, 'the one,' then this world would look mighty different. And there wouldn't be so many divorce lawyers...
So...
Have you traveled internationally? (check)
Have you lived abroad?
Have you learned a new language(s)?
Have you learned a new language and immersed yourself in a new culture beyond just the, 'tourist,' areas?
Have you tried a match-maker?
Have you tried foreign services for women who want to marry into America (I think you live in America?)?
Have you spent some time with escorts (just for some company, and friendship)?
Have you tried moving to a different state?
Have you tried speed dating? (check)
Have you tried speed dating more than once? More than twice? etc..
Have you taken some extra-curicular classes at the local colleges as a way of meeting people?
Have you tried getting into acting (good way to meet people and really push beyond your comfort zone)?
Comedy?
Activism?
Volunteering?
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I'm just trying to drive home the point that, there is often more out there, than a single mind can comprehend. Some things in life, good and bad, will just fall right into your lap. Other stuff takes a little effort. Other stuff takes a lot of effort. Some stuff takes time. Some stuff takes the, 'right time.' Some stuff requires the, 'right place.' Some things take luck. Some times it's dumb luck. Other times it's clever/smart luck. etc..
Some things we are gifted with in life, or cursed with. There are things we can change and things we can't change.
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You don't have to do anything, and I'm not saying that in a scolding manner or anything; as if it's some choice, as whether to win or lose. It's unlikely a post from me, on the internet, will change your life.
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If you aren't familiar with Rodney Dangerfield, you might want to read up on him. He didn't find his love until late in life...
Apologies for the delayed response, you've clearly put a lot of thought into your post, it felt inappropriate to bash out a quick reply on my phone at work. Am home now, and can go through your questions with due care and attention.
I hate to be the bearer of sad tidings, but of the various reasons men pay escorts, honest opinions is not one of them. These are professionals whose sole occupation is to make you feel like a king, so that you may hire them again. They absolutely would not say "You know what? You are awful looking, and if I wasn't on your money for an hourly rate, I wouldn't look twice at you." Like I said, it's not the company I'm lacking. Christ, things are bad now, but if I ever get to a point where I'm paying hookers to tell me I'm handsome, I may as well kill myself.
My friends do try, but we've just lived so very different lives; they're pretty people, they spent their 20s in a bubble of kindness, free drinks and outdoor sex. When I explain that I spent my 20s being turned down because people say I'm ugly, they don't understand or believe that the world can be like that. I suppose it's like if you had a friend with asthma telling you they can't breathe, you can say "Don't be silly! There's plenty of air in here, I can breathe just fine!" and you're not incorrect, but it does little to help your friend who is suffering.
I have travelled internationally.
I have not lived abroad. Honestly, it does not appeal. Believe it or not, I'm very pleased with the life I've carved out for myself and the friends I've made. Packing everything I own into storage, getting on a plane and moving to someplace where I have none of that, just sounds like my idea of hell.
I have learned a new language. I still get called out as ugly, but at least I can reply in fluent French.
I have not tried a match-maker, the starting cost is £1200, which is incredibly steep for a service that does not guarantee results.
I'm not looking to marry right now, certainly not marry a woman who's only interested in me for a green card.
I've moved around to several places, spent the last few years where I am. I've been called ugly in different cities and different countries, I've been called ugly on four continents now, I just need to go to Australia to get the full set.
I have done speed dating three times, each time I was ticked 'no' by every single woman at each event. My online dating (across several different apps) yields the same result.
Through my free time, I've taken up swing dancing classes, which led me to a vibrant community of people, many of which are women under 40. Women outnumber men 2-1, so any single man gets snapped up pretty quickly. I've been dancing for 10 years now, and am seen as one of the best leads in my city. Aside from dancing, I am a member of several "meetup" groups, which also has a large influx of single women in their 20s and 30s. I'm telling you this to assure you that it's not a lack of opportunity to meet women, it's that they say "Eww no, he's ugly!"
As an aside, I love Rodney Dangerfield, his standup sets are absolute killer.
