Belittling, critism, verbal abuse and so on....

[Sowie]

Sometimes people try to verbally abuse me on the bus and so on, mostly being racist. I often pretend I can't hear it or that they don't exist. Once in a while, they get too much and try too hard to affect me and it works. Once, I called them cruel things that were true about them and that shut some of them up except for one guy who told me to fight him. I think he expected me not to, but I was so upset and tired of people telling me to ignore these people, so I did. He asked for it anyway. The look of fear and panic in everyone's eyes was priceless. Childish and definitely not a good solution but I couldn't help enjoying it. Not recommended in this situation though, haha.

I think it's up to you what you do. Ignoring can be a good thing and you're very strong to pull that off. You could tell everyone that they're being rude when they say things like that directly to you. Or maybe be sarcastic. You can say a lot of things back without sinking to their level. You even have the power to not visit these grandparents of your children. I rarely ever visited my grandparents when younger (and now) and I have no real feelings toward them. They used to verbally abuse my mum and she got so affected, my mum does the same to me, unfortunetaly. Like all the anger she kept inside of her, she threw at her kids.
I never needed my grandparents. I'd rather have a good relationship with my parents.


// Just a child really

 

[x"porious]

sorry this has happened to you GB

Some criticism is really hard to swallow, when someone is personal with me, say, calling my height( I am only 5 foot ) it dosen't bother me, because I like my height. But if someone has a go at something else, say, something I am not happy with, then it will get me down for a bit. If someone keeps saying the same thing over and over, I feel like snapping, but that usually leads them on. I acknowledge and accept the things I don't like about myself first, because if it's something you cannot change, like skin colour or height, or race, or anything you cannot change, you gotta accept it. If its something I'm not happy with, but can change, I go ahead and change it if it makes me feel better.
For me, I tend to agree with and surrender to others dominion if they are known to be violent, I only surrender outwardly that is, you know the old saying,
"when the great lord passes, the wize man bows down and silently farts!"

 

[lifestream]

I know it's probably a cliché but I find the best thing to do in these circumstances is to smile, nod and let the comment pass. If you show the person making the comment that their opinion is meaningless to you, after a while they will catch on.

People who feel the need to constantly make criticisms or belittling and disparaging remarks towards you are usually masking their own fears and inadequacies by trying to drag you down.

As sowie suggested, you can throw some grenades of your own at the person. For example, I used to date someone who would keep up a running commentary of very cruel remarks about my being a generally kind and agreeable person (this person saw it as a form of passivity, a fatal flaw in their worldview), which was really just their fears about their own alpha dog bullshit making themselves known. So anyway, as my own form of passive revenge, I made sure to be extra-nice and sweet, bordering on the saccharine, to everyone I met while this person was around. Killed them with kindness, so to speak. Annoyed the hell out of this person but, my God, was it good for my self-esteem.

Needless to say, the relationship ended not long after.

So my point is, there are many ways to deal with difficult personalities, you just need to find the way that works best for you.