BF&GF or Friends With Benefits?

[Wrath]

Shells: Your last post was the most helpful because I read it right before I went out. Thank you thank you thank you thank you for the "preaching" (really). I felt so much more confident going in (pun intended), because my parents never gave me a "sex talk". Although I knew most of it, it's still extremely validating to know someone cares about how my night goes. It didn't break, but if it did I would've def followed your advice. Now I'm still worried about the 1% chance that the condoms let a few swimmers get through--is that justified, and what steps should I take to prevent a "surprise". The first post *was* a little extreme, thought I never know how things will turn out. Maybe it's for the best... but I'll wait and see.

I'm glad it helped.

I never had the "sex talk" either. If you have any other questions regarding sex, a decent (and unbiased) website is: http://www.scarleteen.com/

A lot of the things you read on the internet regarding sex will most likely be very biased (especially certain religious websites that promote abstinence and use fear tactics).

While I do think sex is a natural thing, it's in your best interest to be knowledgeable about it.

edit: I wish I had seen this basic "readiness" checklist earlier. From this website listed above: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/ready_or_not_the_scarleteen_sex_readiness_checklist

(Final) Update:

Wow, so I came to her house and she actually said that she's not mad at me and that she actually has no right to be mad at me even though she waited for me for four hours to go to the hotel. She realized that we are not in a relationship so we are both free to leave and can't hold each other accountable. She said that she wants to stop doing what we were doing because she feels guilty having sex out of wedlock on religious grounds. She also said she was distrustful of me. She said that she was scared that once she fell asleep in the hotel room I would steal her car keys and drive off, leaving her there. She didn't trust me because she said she was taken advantage of in her previous relationships. Then I vented about my own problems for about two hours, and she was a good listener. So surprisingly, she isn't a clingy, psychotic ***** who wants to bind myself to her by secretly trying to impregnate herself (I freaked out because she wanted to keep the relationship exclusive and she asked me if I thought I'd be a good dad). I am relieved to know that my life-dooming concerns were vain.

I was surprised and a little shocked to find out that she wanted to end the relationship. I thought that *I* was going to tell her I wanted to end the relationship, but she actually got ahead of me. She was very casual about it too. I said that that's okay with me and that I'm glad that we sorted things out. I also said that hearing that from her made me have more respect for her. I felt a little run down though because I thought I was the rational and mature one. I wasn't ready for it. Frankly, I was taken aback and even felt like I was "dumped" a little. I felt like I lost something. Before I was unhappy because I thought I might be tied down by a clingy psychotic *****, and now I'm unhappy because I don't have her anymore, and now life seems mundane and even meaningless. WTF?!! After sharing my sexual "conquests" (yes, we guys do that, it's only natural) my friends told me "first you were unhappy that you didn't get any, now you are unhappy even thought you get everything." I replied that I was unhappy that I might get more than I wished for, like a little "miracle". However my friends placated these concerns by assuring me that it's almost impossible to get somebody pregnant if I "tent my unit". So next time, I want to at least get to know the person so I may not have to endure the reservations I my mind might conjure up. I also realized that I would enjoy an intimate relationship much more if I trusted the person and was actually attracted to her.

So in conclusion, nobody got hurt. We both got what we wanted. We both realized what we want in the future.

Problem solved. The end.

Lessons learned from the experience:
Lesson #1: If there is a problem, always talk it out to know the others' perspective on the situation.
Lesson #2: Get to know the person before you have sex. Make sure you trust her--it will make the ride much more enjoyable.
Lesson #3: Think with your head. The one that's on your shoulders, that is.
Lesson #4: Respect the other person as you would want to be respected.
Lesson #5: Bros before h*es!

So my motto "Don't believe in miracles, rely on them", however twisted, has proven true once again!

 

[Badjedidude]

Well it's good that you've learned something from it.

As long as you keep that up, you'll be in good straits later on down the road.