Can people change ?

[eris]

Do you think it is possible for a person to change ?


And no, I dont mean their clothes, or their interests, or their mind.

Do you think a person can change their personality though changing their behaviors ?

I havent done any drugs in over 5 years, and I only drink maybe 1-2 times a year. When I tell people I used to take drugs many people judge me and think I am partier or an irresponsible person. I changed my mindset and that chaged my behaviour and that changed my personality. I hate drugs now, and only talk about them in a negative way.

Would you be critical of an ex drug user ?

Would you be critical of anyone who has signifigantly changed their bad behaviors ?

I know people are only human, and everyon judges everyone to a certain extent, but would you let these people into your lives ?

I only want a yes or no answer in the poll, because of course everything is relative and you can explain that in your post.

Sincerely,

-K

 

[Badjedidude]

I think it's so complicated and varying between different people that there's no real way to concretely answer this.

Which is to say, I'm copping out of answering this.

lol

 

[mintymint]

I think people do change over the course of their lives. But deliberately changing yourself to be a certain way at a certain juncture in your life is very difficult. It seems that for a lot of people it's downright impossible.

 

[sadface]

Yes.

But they rarely do.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I believe so. Some people, however, don't want to. And some people just can't.

 

[Yukhi]

Yes people can change. I have experienced so much change in my life that I'm not same person I was 5 years ago. You guys would probably see my posts and decipher what kind of person I am now but if I tell you guys what kind of person I was back then, you guys most likely wouldn't believe it.

 

[Haven]

Yes maturity really is a good example of people changing. Some people just have to have the modivation to change themselves.

 

[Cereal]

Yeah of course people can change. We don't have some mystical barrier stopping us from becoming a better person, I hate the cliche "People never change".. Anybody can change.

 

[st642]

People can change, but unfortunately many refuse to. But it is possible.

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

yes. people can and do change.

however, you can not change people. and they can't change you. it takes some sort of significant realization or epiphany even to be propelled into change.

i've changed a lot over the years.

 

[Nina]

We all change as we progress through the stages of our lives. Swifter change usually requires a strong motivation. Fear is a very powerful catalyst. A health concern may motivate a person away from a lifetime of poor eating habits and substance abuse. Some folks lack any and all motivation to change. Some actually enjoy their ruts and misery.( Martyr-syndrom) Mental conditions and basic dysfunctions play a huge role in this as well.

So Yes, change can occur but it really is a case by case determination, as to whether a change will occur or if the person even wants to change because they have either become addicted to the compulsive tragedy and/or whinning, feeling the misery or if some other, conditions chemical imbalances, or environmental dysfunctions are bouncing off their walls and making the change too much of a challenge for them.

We are all so darn complex even specialists in the field of Psychology etc.... struggle with accurate diagnosis and treatments.

 

[Brian]

Yes and yes.

Five years ago I was a quiet, shy kid because I was a shut-in. I've told the story lots of times, but the fire dept. saved my life, and today I am outgoing and very social, because I immersed myself in a vastly different environment.


The better story, I think, is about a woman named Stacy.

Stacy was an attractive blond in my Biology class. Looking at her you could tell she was the rocker-type, and at least used to be in to the party scene; she wore the usual clothes, had kind of a tired look to her face, and had a lower back tattoo very 'rock themed'. It bears reiteration at this point that one of my problems is how judgmental I can be based on these kinds of things. I'm attracted to the look, but I wrote her off as probably having an attitude problem and didn't suspect she would pass the class.

Two days later I aced an exam and she wasn't doing so well, so she asked if I'd be her study partner. Partly in shock, and freshly without a lab partner thanks to my fellow outcast-type being absent, I agreed. (phew!)

I kind of got to know her over the quarter and discovered that she was a pretty troubled gal until her 20s. She was in to drugs at least somewhat (called it) and at one point was huffing. She partied (called it) and drank a lot (called it!). But what interested me was the fact that she had made a total turn-around. She was loyally married, with kids, off the drugs, and putting her self through school to become an Ultrasound Technician. And she was definitely working at it.

So people can change. Most don't, but they can, and I accept that now more than I used to.

 

[eris]

hmmm..

yes and yes to what ? I think I asked about 5 questions

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Even though I may have a few similar interest to the people that would be considered "rocker" (god I hate that word) I have never fit in with most of those types of people. I never "partied". I know that doesnt make sense as I said I have used drugs in the past but ive only liked to hang out with a small number of people at a time and my friends have been more intelligent than most vapid, nihilistic people. I really really hate that I used to do drugs, but I dont hate the person I have been. i was always on the honor roll in high school and the deans list in college. I actually graduated with a 3.7; not many people can say that. I stayed out all night when I was a teenager, but it was doing stupid teenage things, not robbing houses and huffing glue.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I get really pissed off when people lump me together with all the FTW pothead losers out there. I have never been that person, but because of my personal style and interests people often do not realize how smart I actually am. ( yes, that sounds conceited, but I really do think I am smart and Ill never deny it. )

so blah blah blah

I regret doing drugs, and that part of me is dead. But I was never a drug addict, or stuck a needle in my arm. And Ive never even seen a crack or meth pipe. It is the only thing that holds me back from being a person that I can be proud of. I think Im just going to lie from now on, and tell people I have never even tried drugs. Maybe then I can have more of a chance at being respected.

 

[lomojojo]

1.yes people can change
2.Absolutely they we can change by changing their behaviors (we are creatures of habit so that makes it a little hard)
3.No, I don't think I'd be judgemental of someone who has changed.
4.Yes, I'd let them in my life. Everyone deserves a chance.
5. I forgot the fifth one

 

[Badjedidude]

No one can change. We are all subject to what our environments and parents make of us. Think of yourself as a ball of clay, being shaped into a form by the outside forces around you. And then baked in hellfire until you're so hard that not even falling off of a high table will harm you.

lol... j/k

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi-
We change in that we get older, mature and get wiser. But as far as changing your personality, I think that we are mostly born with and develop our personalities in the first few years of life. I'm introverted and always have been, even when very little. I was born that way. My parents and brothers are the same way. Your gender can affect your personality and everyone (well, most everyone) is born with a gender.
Behaviors are a little more fluid than personalities.

-Teresa

 

[tehdreamer]

Can they? Yes. Do they? Rarely, if ever.

People have to find a important, significant reason to change and they have to work their asses off to achieve real change. Most people never find this reason and they'll keep being who they are because they see nothing wrong with it, even if it hurts other people. Why change if you don't think there's any reason to? People can change, they just don't.

As for ex-addicts; I may be skeptical of someone I knew while they were in their wild/ self-destructive druggy days whose behavior effected me negatively. I'd probably give them a chance to earn my trust again (depending on how I was effected), but I wouldn't welcome them with open arms. Fool me once...

But for someone I didn't know personally during their addiction, I'd be more willing to give them a chance if they have a significant amount of time clean. Everyone deserves a second chance.

 

[eris]

^^^ that made a lot of sense to me

and I dont know if i really changed my personality. I wish I could change my personality. I have a personality disorder. But i changed my...ideas. I was never one of those scary drug people and i never stole off anyone. I was usually just rolling around on the floor naked listening to repetative music i stopped watching porn, too. That was just getting sad.

So I guess i am constantly changing....

 

[sad sack]

Yes, people can and do change all the time. I'd wager that everybody here has experienced changse in their lives. Change, whether I like it or not, is a part of being human.

Even I, the resident anti-change guy, have changed many times throughout my life. I'm not the same person that I was at 10, 15, 20, 25, or even 30 (I'm now 31). They weren't necessarily subtle changes either. I changed everything about my life on several occasions; from my way of thinking, to my friends (or lack of them), to my interests...like I said, everything. It's not even like I woke up like one day and said "Man, I want to change!" either. It can happen that way of course, but for me it always happened organically.

OK, first of all I am critical of nearly everybody and everything but...

I wouldn't be critical of an ex-drug user for that reason alone. Hell, I AM an ex-drug user (although nothing stronger than marijuana, except that one time I smoked marijuana laced with coke...big mistake) I was also very likely an alcoholic in 2000-2001 and 2004-2006. Perhaps not coincidentally, with the exception of 2006 when I went through an existential crisis and dropped out of society, those years were some of my happiest times.

I wouldn't be critical of anyone for changing their bad behaviors. I don't see how anyone outside of those folks who wear a "Rehab Is For Quitters" shirt would be. And like I said, I am a very critical type.

I doubt I'd let them into my life, but it has nothing to do with past behavior. It's just that the odds go against them. I don't let 99.5% of people into my life. I'm an antisocial loner by choice.

 

[ThinkPositive]

Sorry, I know you said you wanted a Yes or No answer and I tried to see which way would sum up how I feel the best, but there really isn't any way I can pick one or the other.

See, I think you asked a different question in your poll than you did in your subject heading!

Subject just says "Can people change?"
-- A clear Yes, of course they do!

Poll question says "can a person change their personality"
-- This is a completely different question. Now you're asking if a person can, by your own volition, change. A lot of change happens just by getting older, or by being in a different environment. No, I wasn't the same when I was 17 as I am now almost 10 years later, but most people aren't. Or maybe you moved to a different city or country, or just associate with different people, and that can change you too. Though, you can also say that since you yourself, say, decided to move out into a better environment or get a new set of friends, you changed yourself. So it depends on what you're asking.

Also...plenty of people change for the worse!