Can't get the girls I like to like me back - Help!!!!

[Sun35]

Try finding girls who you have more in common with. It's good to keep all you're options open. Some girls don't want to settle down and other girls are willing on having a serious relationship. Just continue to be yourself, talk to different girls who you like and ask them about they're interest. Let them know that you're interested in them. And see what they end up saying, keep you chin up. I'm sure you'll find a lovely lady soon.

Excellent.Well said.

 

[jaguarundi]

WallflowerGirl83 Wrote:
Try finding girls who you have more in common with. It's good to keep all you're options open. Some girls don't want to settle down and other girls are willing on having a serious relationship. Just continue to be yourself, talk to different girls who you like and ask them about they're interest. Let them know that you're interested in them. And see what they end up saying, keep you chin up. I'm sure you'll find a lovely lady soon.

Agreed and motion carried...

Keep off the LDR s tho - the odds against finding someone who will become your beloved other are very high, and basically you can more profitably use your time looking elsewhere. Have you tried the kind of places where girls you might like would go? Say, volunteering at an animal shelter? (likely to be more girls than men, and they will be animal lovers - you have a lovely dog...saw the pics!) or something else like that? A yoga class (again, likely to be more girls) - ballroom dancing (girls you can take into your arms??)..... Also - nice but unavailable girls might have nice available friends and be willing to set you up? Kiss those female frogs, babycakes...

(ps I once tried a course on car maintenance to meet men - turned out it was full of women - all the men were in the 'cooking for the recently single' course.... I did learn how to change a wheel and do an oil change tho' ... )

 

[CHSlater]

I don't think looks are your problem. I wouldn't call your experiences with these girls failures; you've just had some bad luck is all. Have you asked any of these girls why they decided to date someone else? You might learn something from their answers. It wouldn't hurt to ask. Did you try asking any of them out?

Well, I never asked the first one why, but I believe the answer is because I moved too slow with her. With the second girl, that's the one that really confuses me. She said all kinds of wonderful things to me for almost a year, then one day said she was seeing someone else. I was really hurt, but she said she didn't want to ruin me. She said she needs to be balanced out, I don't know, it sounded like a bunch of nonsense to me, especially considering that she would start the majority of our conversations and really showed interest in me for months and months. From her words alone, it looked like she cared and it sounded like more than friends was an option. She was always saying how I made her happy and how she enjoyed me and how she missed me when I was gone, and to hug her or that I should come cuddle. She told me she wished I lived by her and that she wanted to watch movies with me under blankets. At one time she even asked me what I would do if she tried to get me to sleep with her. I said I would. She would joke about that with me sometime too. And not only that, but we could hold regular conversations too. So I really don't get why she said we wouldn't be good together.

dude, you have no idea how your story relate to mine. I once started to hang out with a girl who I really thought it would turns out into something close. She used to call me almost everyday and laughed at every lame joke I did (I'm a kinda of "Stand-up machine freak"). She was pretty, smart, and seemed to match with me in almost everything. I thought "She's the one". After 2 months hanging out together, I met a friend of her that didn't seem to be a "threat". I'm good looking, tall and I'm kinda smart. The guy are ugly, small and a little bit "slow". I wasn't afraid to lose her to him at all, I mean "c'mon?". Suddenly, one day, me and that girl have had a discussion (not something big, but still...). On that night, she changed her facebook's status to "in a relationship"... WITH THAT UGLY BOY!

my world has crumbled that day. I was so down that because the reason she gave me for dating the other guy is "I know you don't like this 'frindzone' thing, I but don't want you to stop seeing me because of Humberto." Man, it was like she now I liked her but wanted to make me jealous. Later, she broke up with him and told me that I was too slow to make a move.

Man, I have a good job, car, and everything people say are needed to have a girlfriend or even "get laid", but I never get to have something special with someone I like.

I don't know if it's because of my personality, approach or w/e, but I'm also searching for the answer of why I can't make girls I like to like me back.

 

[TheSkaFish]

CHSlater, I feel your pain, man. It's rough to come so close and be so far away. I wish the answer were easier to find. I guess from this we have both learned to make moves faster. I have heard that the best thing to do when you meet a girl you like is to frame things as romantic right away. I don't mean that as guys we should be pushy, that's a turn-off. But rather, I mean, we should subtly hint at it. For example, closing an introductory conversation to the girl you like with "Hey, you seem like a pretty cool girl. We should hang out again sometime." This sets up the idea that you view her specifically in the context of being a girl, not just a friend.

---

The other hard thing for me to take about this is that I really did have a lot in common with these girls I met online. At least, I certainly had enough in common to have meaningful conversations with them instead of just small talk. I know these long-distance relationships I keep going for are foolish from a purely logical point of view, but I keep going for them because I figure, you never know, anything could happen and you only get to be young once and I like these girls so much better than anyone I meet around here. Most girls around here seem to fit into two categories: they are attractive but their personalities don't interest me, OR they have a personality I could get along with but I am not physically attracted to them. They have one or the other but not both, and whatever they do have is still not better than the girls I've met online, who have the looks that give me butterflies in my stomach AND the personalities that really fascinate and excite me. They make me feel like they are the kind of girls I could really make some good memories with. It's too bad they live so far away. I wish I knew how to make a better impression on them.

 

[CHSlater]

CHSlater, I feel your pain, man. It's rough to come so close and be so far away. I wish the answer were easier to find. I guess from this we have both learned to make moves faster. I have heard that the best thing to do when you meet a girl you like is to frame things as romantic right away. I don't mean that as guys we should be pushy, that's a turn-off. But rather, I mean, we should subtly hint at it. For example, closing an introductory conversation to the girl you like with "Hey, you seem like a pretty cool girl. We should hang out again sometime." This sets up the idea that you view her specifically in the context of being a girl, not just a friend.

---

The other hard thing for me to take about this is that I really did have a lot in common with these girls I met online. At least, I certainly had enough in common to have meaningful conversations with them instead of just small talk. I know these long-distance relationships I keep going for are foolish from a purely logical point of view, but I keep going for them because I figure, you never know, anything could happen and you only get to be young once and I like these girls so much better than anyone I meet around here. Most girls around here seem to fit into two categories: they are attractive but their personalities don't interest me, OR they have a personality I could get along with but I am not physically attracted to them. They have one or the other but not both, and whatever they do have is still not better than the girls I've met online, who have the looks that give me butterflies in my stomach AND the personalities that really fascinate and excite me. They make me feel like they are the kind of girls I could really make some good memories with. It's too bad they live so far away. I wish I knew how to make a better impression on them.

---

I've met a girl on the internet once. We've dragged our "relationship" for something about 4 months. I found out that she also liked me. I got to the point of buying gifts on the internet for her. As you said, the exactly same thing usually happen to me when meeting girls who live in my town: Or she has the "personality", or my physical attraction. When they've got both, normally they already have a boyfriend or are not physically interested on me for some reason (AKA "friendzoned me").

An advice I give: Be careful. I stopped meeting girls online 4 years ago because it doesn't progress in 95% of the cases. Even after stop talking to that girl I met, seeing her in a relationship on facebook was really painful.

But I think we shouldn't stop trying to find girls like the ones we meet on the internet in our city, because maybe there is a guy just like us who chat with a girl of our dream in our city miles away. I bet they would've given up a arm to switch place with us.

Ps.: It was impressive that you can understand my bad english... Believe me: I'm a brazillian version of you.

 

[TheSkaFish]

@CHSlater, ah, no worries. Give yourself credit, I think your English is pretty good.

---

I had a thought about this today. When I think about why I fail with these girls, I think that there must be a reason. When I consider or don't consider someone, I always have a reason for my choice, and it's never something like being mean for mean's sake. That's not me. So I wonder then, if it's likely that whatever these girls don't like about me is something that I don't like about myself, or at least something about myself that I wish was different. The things I dislike about myself the most are my pessimism and negativity, self-doubt, tendency to worry a lot, lack of direction and laziness. I wonder if it could be any of those that cause me to consistently fail with girls I like, because I tend to like girls who have a lot going for them. Maybe I have too many negative traits.

 

[TheSkaFish]

It took a while, but eventually I realized why I wasn't a good match with that girl.  I stopped talking to her for a while, at first just to figure out what was going on before trying again, but this time spent not talking to her really helped me see her more objectively.  

We were friends on Goodreads for a while, and one day I saw her add a bunch of books to her to-read shelf, and I realized that I didn't want to talk about any of those things.  She was all about hard science and nonfiction mostly, and I'm more about fantasy, fiction, and what-if's.  I also realized that I don't think I'd want to spend the rest of my one life with her.  I wouldn't have been comfortable, at ease, fulfilled, and happy.  It turned out that there was a lot about her personality that I didn't really like.  I always knew it was there, it was just that when she said sweet things to me I was willing to look the other way.  And I totally misread her as a person.  I thought she wanted someone to cheer her up and show her some warmth instead of treating her like a monster, but I was wrong.  She actually wanted to be cold, edgy, and "bad" the whole time.  I was just seeing what I wanted to see in her because I was naive and lonely.  

And not to be a jerk or anything but even her looks...it's not that I'm calling her ugly, it's just more that, again, after a while I saw her more objectively.  She didn't really blow me away, like I used to think.  If I saw her on a dating site today, she wouldn't really stand out to me one way or another. Again not to be mean or anything but I figured, whatever helps me put this all in the past.  

In the end, I understood why she was right, and I could see why we weren't a personality match at all.  I stopped caring about her a while ago, and deleted her off all my social media.  I didn't even feel like there was any need to stay in touch in any capacity, because there are other people I have more in common with, have an easier time talking to, and are just nicer, warmer, friendlier people.  There wasn't really anything left to talk about or anything I needed to discuss with her specifically.  I didn't really have any feelings of missing or any kind of emotions for her, since I only felt those for my mind's idea of her, and not the real person.  All I really missed was the feeling of thinking that I found someone who liked me, someone to get close to.  

So that's the end of that.  I feel kind of sheepish cause I gave people on here a lot of grief over this.  More than that though, I wish I realized this all sooner, cause I wish I'd spent the last years I had with some close family members, in a happier place.

Along with some other things, it really leaves me in a state of confusion. I was so convinced before that I liked her - loved her, even. Then I realized that I really didn't. I learned from all this why you can't just like someone because you think they're hot (which I stopped thinking at some point), why it won't work without common beliefs and views, and a personality/emotional connection, because without it you just won't feel enough to draw the two of you together.

I've met a lot of different types of people, yet none ever seem to be "compatible" with me, or be my "type". I wonder who even is right for me. It's starting to seem like nobody.

 

[michael2]

 I've met a lot of different types of people, yet none ever seem to be "compatible" with me, or be my "type".  I wonder who even is right for me.  It's starting to seem like nobody.

This is usually the issue people have who weren't part of big social circles.  Your don't learn learn how to conform into a "type" with generally the same interests as everyone around you.  Instead you become too unique and have trouble finding someone who is like you

Usually a much bigger problem for men as we tend to be less sociable and thus dont learn how to emulate others closely.  This creates alot of male "outcasts".  There use to be female outcasts too for these men, but they are all but extinct now with the age of social media in which any woman can be a mini-celebrity.

I'm a very extreme case of this.  Nothing about me makes "sense".

 

[Silence Is Deafening]

I have the exact same problem, and I sympathise 100%.

I really struggled to find interest in any of the girls I fancied. I'm 36 now and can still count the relationships I've had on one hand. Of them, the longest is a whopping six months.

A few things about me: Most girls I see on a night out have an attitude problem, or so thick in makeup they must wake up with half their face stuck to the pillow. Its just a turn off for me. Then there's the ever prevailant fact that some of the nicest girls I've met invariably have boyfriends or girlfriends.

After failing time and time again, I completely gave up in the end and just went looking for sex. I feel this was just a decade of distractionp, though. Now the mere thought of the actual pursuit of sex bores the daylights out of me. To reiterate that: sex is good. Looking for sex? Can't be arsed.

I do consider myself fairly shallow, though, and fairly ugly, so there's a recipe for celebacy right there. That said, i've known some girls to like me, and I kind of had little i terest in them, but I gave it the chance I wish so.e of my crushes had given and I did end up ditching them not ling afterwards. But these are women with far less in common with my crushes.

What's worse though, is the last lass. I liked her. We have practically everything in common (although I do not value that as important) and I straight up asked her as it was always difficult narrowing it down to just us. She essentially said no aaaand... it didn't bother me.

Thats a bit scary for me that. I'd love to have had the chance with her, but suddenly I don't care about the rejection. The women I am really attracted to are few and far between. I think I'm past caring for romance now, and not really out of choice. I know I'm past caring for sex. So the road ahead just got a hell of a lot more boring.

I have a child. The one time I didn't use contraception. But I don't regret him in the slighest. So i don't feel any great urges to go forth and multiply. And I just don't care. I know somewhere deep inside I do - bigtime - but i've listened to that optimistic dreamhatcher for way too long.

And sorry, i dont know how to quote. I have to use a phone and its awful. Having read what you said about that second girl, I think she was completely into you but maybe felt she waited too long. That said I dunno if you lived near one another. Was this physical or mostly over internet? But it proves you can find the girls you like.

I'd suggest you therefore go find more girls

 

[Forgottendanfan]

I can't seem to inspire the attraction of any woman. It's frustrating for me because I can't quite put my finger on the crux of my problem. I'm not a particularly handsome man, but at the same time I see guys who look much worse than me in relationships, as well as guys who have worse social skills and personalities than me. I guess some of it comes down to plain bad luck.

 

[TheSkaFish]

This is usually the issue people have who weren't part of big social circles.  Your don't learn learn how to conform into a "type" with generally the same interests as everyone around you.  Instead you become too unique and have trouble finding someone who is like you

Usually a much bigger problem for men as we tend to be less sociable and thus dont learn how to emulate others closely.  This creates alot of male "outcasts".  There use to be female outcasts too for these men, but they are all but extinct now with the age of social media in which any woman can be a mini-celebrity.

I'm a very extreme case of this.  Nothing about me makes "sense".

Yeah, I wasn't part of a big social circle.  I couldn't really be any of the "popular" types - jocks, rich party kids, or the "bad" crowd/hardcore stoners and delinquents.  I didn't have the necessary physical strength, money, or dominant personality to assert power and superiority over others.  I didn't have an air of casual superiority that comes from life automatically giving you your way, I didn't have a sarcastic, facetious, cynical, critical, cold, obnoxious personality, I didn't have a desire to do the teenage rebel thing of being shocking and offensive just to get a rise out of people, and I didn't have the drive to be a reckless risk-taker.  I didn't have the right interests or personality, and I wasn't good enough at something to make up for not being able to be "cool".  

I think that because I'm not rich and powerful, or dark and brooding/rebellious and risk taking, because I have no real dark, cold "edge", and because I retreated into my own world and wasn't really interested in a lot of things in the real world, women write me off as childish.

Also I'm not impressive.  I don't have anything to impress women with.  I didn't get into skills-based interests growing up, for several reasons. They were expensive, for one thing.  I didn't think i needed to do them because i was already happy with the interests i had.  I was happy just playing.  And I felt like there was no point getting into skills because I felt like I didn't have any talent, because nothing seemed like it came naturally to me, or was easier for me than anything else.  This is a feeling I've struggled with all my life and still struggle with today - this feeling, this fear that I'm inherently mediocre at best, and limited. This feeling that I just don't have enough potential to get anywhere good in life.

Kind of along the same token as not having impressive skills, I also don't have crazy partying stories to impress girls with.  I don't even know where the stories are.  I know I need better ideas than the ones I've had, but I don't know where to find them or how to come up with them.

I thought impressing girls was only something for social game players aka douchebags that lucked into being born with the right stuff, and that if someone needed to be impressed to like you, then they'd always think they were better than you anyway, and you trying to impress them is like being their dancing monkey, which I thought was lowering myself.  I thought it was un-evolved behavior and i could be above it, in fact, we could all be above it in the modern world.  But I'm starting to feel like that's wrong.  In the animal kingdom the males have to impress the females by out-competing other males, to prove their own genetic superiority.  Animals don't get together just because.   I guess I thought humans were our own thing, that we were more civilized and not bound by the rules of the animal kingdom, but the more I think about it, the more I think that we still are.  Growing up, I didn't like the competitive atmosphere and didn't like hierarchies because I often found myself near the bottom of them.  I didn't think it was a problem because I thought I could opt out of it.  But being single seems to be what I get for it.

I think women outcasts do still exist, but I also feel like just because someone is an outcast doesn't mean they will be attracted to me, or that I'll be attracted to them, or that we'll have that much to relate and connect about other than being outcasts.  And I've definitely seen how some women become mini-celebrities on social media.  Even if I have common interests with them and think they are cool people, I just don't know how I can stand out from the swarm of guys, many of them "cooler" than me, competing with each other to be tougher, louder, cockier, wittier, darker and "edgier", more sarcastic, facetious, mocking and disdainful, or vulgar than the next.  

I can try to get in better shape, I can try to get a middle class career, I can try to get at least above average at some skills based interests (I hope), and I can try to read some interesting things to talk about.  But without being the rich guy, the rebel, or the "funny man", I worry that none of it matters.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I have the exact same problem, and I sympathise 100%.

I really struggled to find interest in any of the girls I fancied. I'm 36 now and can still count the relationships I've had on one hand. Of them, the longest is a whopping six months.

A few things about me: Most girls I see on a night out have an attitude problem, or so thick in makeup they must wake up with half their face stuck to the pillow. Its just a turn off for me. Then there's the ever prevailant fact that some of the nicest girls I've met invariably have boyfriends or girlfriends.

After failing time and time again, I completely gave up in the end and just went looking for sex. I feel this was just a decade of distractionp, though. Now the mere thought of the actual pursuit of sex bores the daylights out of me. To reiterate that: sex is good. Looking for sex? Can't be arsed.

I do consider myself fairly shallow, though, and fairly ugly, so there's a recipe for celebacy right there. That said, i've known some girls to like me, and I kind of had little i terest in them, but I gave it the chance I wish so.e of my crushes had given and I did end up ditching them not ling afterwards. But these are women with far less in common with my crushes.

What's worse though, is the last lass. I liked her. We have practically everything in common (although I do not value that as important) and I straight up asked her as it was always difficult narrowing it down to just us. She essentially said no aaaand... it didn't bother me.

Thats a bit scary for me that. I'd love to have had the chance with her, but suddenly I don't care about the rejection. The women I am really attracted to are few and far between. I think I'm past caring for romance now, and not really out of choice. I know I'm past caring for sex. So the road ahead just got a hell of a lot more boring.

I have a child. The one time I didn't use contraception. But I don't regret him in the slighest. So i don't feel any great urges to go forth and multiply. And I just don't care. I know somewhere deep inside I do - bigtime - but i've listened to that optimistic dreamhatcher for way too long.

And sorry, i dont know how to quote. I have to use a phone and its awful. Having read what you said about that second girl, I think she was completely into you but maybe felt she waited too long. That said I dunno if you lived near one another. Was this physical or mostly over internet? But it proves you can find the girls you like.

I'd suggest you therefore go find more girls

I've seen the attitude thing.  The cliquey, high school "mean girl"ism.  Whenever I see someone doing that, right off the bat I know we won't be able to connect because they want someone who matches their beliefs that they are superior, and they want a casually superior, sarcastic, witty guy, "the funny man" and I've never been able to be that person.  The popular mean girl attitude turns me off too.

The thing is, that's exactly the attitude you need if you're just looking for sex.  I hear you when you say you're bored of looking for it.  It's like a job, you have to play a role, you have to be in-character as something you don't even like or believe in, but this is what's in demand.  You have to pretend to be this fresia it YOLO 420 guy that somehow manages to be successful in spite of the fact that he doesn't care about anything, and pretend that's what you enjoy.  I could see it getting tiresome fast.

That's where I think I trip up.  I have stuff in common with girls sometimes, but even common interests aren't enough to make enough of an impression for "chemistry"/"the spark"/whatever, because I'm not "the cool guy", not "the funny man", I don't do smooth talk, I don't do witty banter,  I don't have a snarky critical attitude, I'm not rich, not dark and brooding, haven't lived a reckless risk taking life, and not impressive enough to make up for it.  

Sometimes I wonder why I even want a girlfriend, because like you said, I don't really have a need to go out and multiply either.  When I see kids I'm not like "I want that", I just think they are noisy and germy and a lot of responsibilities and bills and I'd rather have a car (although I don't see pets that way, even though they also cost a lot).  But it's the total experience.  The sex part, and the emotional warmth.  Saying sweet things to each other.  Having a life partner that is a different experience than family or friends.  The closeness.   And I don't want to go my whole life being frozen out of this experience, or relegated to the bottom.  I want to change my story and become a chooser.

The second girl though, she wasn't into me.  I was just seeing what I wanted to see out of naivete and loneliness.  I thought she was looking for someone to be sweet to her, but she was cold and "bad" the whole time and had no intentions of changing.  Rejection is humiliating and I hate it because it means the stench of loserdom is still on me, but once I realized that she wasn't who I thought she was, and that I wouldn't even enjoy her company, it didn't matter that she turned me down because I wouldn't have been happy with her anyway.  It's not a big deal cause I lost nothing that I truly wanted.  The person I thought she was, never existed in the first place.  I don't care about that anymore, it was a mistake from the get-go, and I wish I'd stopped caring about her sooner.

Ever since then, I've been in a weird place about this.  I don't think anything will change until/unless I can somehow become impressive, which I now realize was what I should have been working on all my life instead of what I did.  One girl I liked from the past and had a fair amount in common with, is single again.  But I don't talk to her because I'm worried that I already messed up my impression with her by not being "cool", witty, and impressive and I'm afraid she has me categorized as boring, awkward, needy, weak, not creating enough value, all that bullshit.  I don't know what I could say or do that would impress her and wipe my old naive impression away.  I'm also not sure she is the same person she was when we met in 2011 or 2012.  She seems more jaded than she used to be. For that matter, I am too.

I've met a few other girls that, I don't know if it's really "liking" per se.  They have some traits I could like, but it would also mean I'd have to give up on experiencing some things that I've really wanted to experience, and again, same problem - even if I was OK with that, it's still not a sure thing.  I still don't know how I could impress them either.

Other than that, I'm in this weird in-between state of wanting to experience a romantic relationship/sex/closeness before my life ends, wanting to escape being frozen out, wanting to beat this limit that's been imposed on me - and feeling burnt out on it.  Like I missed my chance and now there's nowhere to go from here.  I don't really enjoy looking for, or meeting new people because it's always the same - no one that really makes me feel much of anything. No one that pulls me into their story. No one that I'd feel romantic about.  At this point, I just don't know.

 

[Finished]

Most women like to play games even though they say they don't. They have a real need to be desired and worthy of much effort. The more attention they get, usually from their appearance, the more value they believe they have. You have to learn and play THEIR game to get THEM. You can't just say hey, we should go to dinner. All the advise others give about being nice, be yourself, dress nice, etc, etc, etc is all BS. It's not a matter of talking to them or touching them, although that usually helps. You have to prove to them that you are worthy. It's all a big ******* game. Most people are so basic. They haven't evolved much over the last few thousands years:

  ​

Lots of women go for big puffy guys who display lots of male hormones. Some go for guys who drive nice shiny vehicles. Different woman want to be played in different ways. You just have to figure out what game to play and go all in. Money used to matter. But, since women can easily earn their on living that, for the most part, no longer matters. The crazy thing, just like in nature, you only have to play the game long enough to get them. Then once the women make the decision that you are good enough you are in driver's seat. ​

That's when the ahole guys get away with treating their women like honeysuckle.  The women have already decided how wonderful their guy is based on them figuring out the correct steps to get into their castle and sip their wine. So, the abuse must just be a temporary thing. Yeah, right. That's when the fun just begins.​

Sandra Bullock is an example of this crap. She wanted a "bad boy". So she married Jesse James, a motorcycle dude. Then she was shocked when he was cheating on her. What a stupid *********. Ha! ha!​

 ​

 

[TheRealCallie]

Blah blah blah, I'm the expert on women.....

 ​

Okay, let me ask this.  You seem to claim to know more about women than the actual women giving advice.  Why is that?  What makes you more of an expert on women than the women themselves?  That seems to be a common theme on this forum.  The women give advice, only to have the men come in and "tell it like it really is," essentially saying we are liars.
Simple truth of the matter is, just like men, every woman is an individual and likes/dislikes certain things. Some do go for the bad boy types, some do want the guy who is going to take care of them, and some just want someone to enhance their life without worrying about what a man can offer them aside from companionship and love.


To Ska, instead of trying to impress everyone else, why not try to impress yourself?  You don't really seem to have a high opinion of yourself and maybe that's the reason it hasn't happened for you yet.

 

[michael2]

Most women like to play games even though they say they don't. They have a real need to be desired and worthy of much effort. The more attention they get, usually from their appearance, the more value they believe they have. You have to learn and play THEIR game to get THEM. You can't just say hey, we should go to dinner. All the advise others give about being nice, be yourself, dress nice, etc, etc, etc is all BS. It's not a matter of talking to them or touching them, although that usually helps. You have to prove to them that you are worthy. It's all a big ******* game. Most people are so basic. They haven't evolved much over the last few thousands years:

  ​

Lots of women go for big puffy guys who display lots of male hormones. Some go for guys who drive nice shiny vehicles. Different woman want to be played in different ways. You just have to figure out what game to play and go all in. Money used to matter. But, since women can easily earn their on living that, for the most part, no longer matters. The crazy thing, just like in nature, you only have to play the game long enough to get them. Then once the women make the decision that you are good enough you are in driver's seat. ​

That's when the ahole guys get away with treating their women like honeysuckle.  The women have already decided how wonderful their guy is based on them figuring out the correct steps to get into their castle and sip their wine. So, the abuse must just be a temporary thing. Yeah, right. That's when the fun just begins.​

Sandra Bullock is an example of this crap. She wanted a "bad boy". So she married Jesse James, a motorcycle dude. Then she was shocked when he was cheating on her. What a stupid *********. Ha! ha!​

 ​

By the time these women figure out they are attracted to the wrong type of man they eventually settle for guys they use to see as unappealing.  The problem is when they marry these beta providers (almost always when they are post-wall aka 30+) they arent happy in the relationship because they still crave the badboy.  Its the 80/20 rule.  A beta provider will give a woman 80% of what she needs in a relationship.  But she will always be unhappy as she will continue to crave the 20% that only a badboy can provide.

Only 3 things matter when trying to attract 95% of women.  Looks, money, and status.  If you are struggling with women, then your probably scoring pretty low in all 3 categories.  If you accel in even just one category, it will be enough to attract a woman.  Sometimes I like that I personally score so low in all 3 categories as it truly shows me how shallow people are.  I cant imagine suddenly looking like Henry Cavil or having Elon Musk's money but having the same personality and suddenly seeing all the women chase.  It would make me give up on the human race faster then a heartbeat.

Blah blah blah, I'm the expert on women.....

 ​

  Some do go for the bad boy types, some do want the guy who is going to take care of them, and some just want someone to enhance their life without worrying about what a man can offer them aside from companionship and love.  

I'll be more specific for you:

50% go for the bad boy types, 45% want the guy who is going to take care of them, and 5% just want someone to enhance their life without worrying about what a man can offer them aside from companionship and love.  

I 

 

[ardour]

Perhaps the solution is to get over the patriarchal gender binary conditioning and date other guys/transpeople/non-binary moonkins etc. The majority of lonely losers here could probably get a bit of free attention on Grindr if they wanted.

 

[Xpendable]

Scraps

 

[Sci-Fi]

Knock it off, gender stereotyping and gender bashing are not allowed here. None of you speak for the other gender or other people. Pull your heads out of your asses. I am so sick of seeing a certain group of guys on this forum who seem to think they know exactly what every single woman on this planet wants. The fact is YOU DON'T KNOW honeysuckle! How could you when you've obviously have had so little contact with women. It's not them it's you. So knock it off or go find someplace else to whine and *****, there are plenty of forums out there that would welcome you. You give guys on this forum a bad rep and personally I am sick and tired of it. It was so peaceful when you were all keeping your biased jaded remarks to yourselves. Keep it that way. It's easy to see why women wouldn't be interested with the disgusting negativity some of you carry around. Improve yourself first.

To end on a positive note. For those who are working on themselves and trying to change for the better keep it up. It's noticeable when you do and nice to see a change in people who want to be better. Hopefully good things will come your way.

 

[TheSkaFish]

@everyone,

just saying, I hear your opinions and all, I'm not going to tell you how to feel. But this is my thread, and I don't want it to be closed, at least not as long as I'm still a member here. I'm currently in the process of jotting down some stuff from threads I liked, saying some farewells, just tidying up before I go. After that happens, I don't care. But I don't want my threads derailed as long as I'm still here, because I'm still using them. Most of this last page aside from the first two posts and Callie's, isn't really about what I was talking about, and since this thread is mine, I'd prefer to use it to just keep it about me and my experiences. I didn't want to talk about men and women as a whole, just about my situation.

I only restarted this thread at all because it seemed like an appropriate place to say that one of these situations that was getting me down for a long time, was resolved. I wanted to say something, somewhere, to give it some finality. And also just to talk a bit about what I was feeling from there.

 

[Finished]

I am so sick of seeing a certain group of guys on this forum who seem to think they know exactly what every single woman on this planet wants. 

Wow! I must have missed read something. I want to see the posts where any guy from "the certain group of guys", not that that is a stereotyping remark in itself, has said they know what every single woman on this planet wants.

Knock it off, gender stereotyping and gender bashing are not allowed here.  None of you speak for the other gender or other people.  

Oh, buts it's okay to stereotype others and lash out them for expressing their opinions based on their experiences. Nice! 

Pull your heads out of your asses.

Even nicer. But, it's probably just coming from personal experiences of having ones head up ones own ass. So, that experienced based opinion shouldn't be faulted either.

I am so sick of seeing a certain group of guys on this forum who seem to think they know exactly what every single woman on this planet wants. 

Well, then don't look at it. It's not good to continue an activity that can make one's self sick especially during these crazy times. It might be a good time to move on or take a break.

The fact is YOU DON'T KNOW honeysuckle!  

Okay, pot calling the kettle black. Now I suppose that'll be called a racist remark because I specified one color out of a million. Okay, fine, I'll change it to..... the pot calling the kettle dark. No that's probably still no longer allowable. I guess maybe it needs to be more direct so others can't configure it to mean something completely different from it's intended use.... the pot calling the kettle a hypocrite. There. Everybody should feel good now. 

So knock it off or go find someplace else to whine and *****, there are plenty of forums out there that would welcome you.

Ditto!!!!

Improve yourself first. 

Hmmm. Great comment. That's all we all needed to hear. Thanks! I've seen that short self improvement comments like that are very well liked on this forum. Listen up everybody!!!!!! All we have to do is improve ourselves first. Ahhhhhhh. That is so enlightening. I already feel so much better. Thanks for the wisdom.

To end on a positive note.  For those who are working on themselves and trying to change for the better keep it up.  It's noticeable when you do and nice to see a change in people who want to be better.  Hopefully good things will come your way.

Nice little disclaimer. It completely negates all the previous negative comments and bashing. It's kind of like saying you have a friend that is (a certain color) so you're not racist based on that.