Charybdis and a siren too

[lbstanley70]

So she emails me today, asks how I am doing. I don't immediately respond because whenever I communicate with her I want the words to be perfect, to completely convey what I want her to know. So apparently, my writer's block causes her to follow up and check on me and now I am disheveled and off my guard because I can't take two unsolicited reach outs . And I say I don't want to bother her and she says, "A hey would be nice" and I am knocked off kilter again. I still haven't asked why she ignored me for a month because I like hearing from her (the siren) but I also know every time I start to make progress she reaches out to me and I feel myself falling back again (Charybdis). So yes I am a fool and I know it but I just can't tear myself away. I feel so much like Forrest Gump. I may be dumb but I know what love is and that is what I feel when I am with her. I just wish she felt the same for me.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Well, if you plan on contacting her, it seems like it'll be easiest to do so now. I'm a professional writer and I can sympathize with the notion of wanting to frame the perfect words but...don't. There are no perfect words, nothing so specifically necessary of editing - and the rush of words spoken gently but honest is probably more empathic and heartfelt than any level of postproduction.

I think she cares for you, for what it is worth.

And try to avoid overidealizing her, despite the romantic's temptation to do so. In the end, she is just human, with the same foibles and gifts of any other human being. She too makes mistakes, and she too regrets, in a world that offers very little in the way of absolute answers.

 

[lbstanley70]

We always over idealize anything we love. It is hard to believe something you care so much about could be as wrought with as many failings as your own humanity.