Chivarly is dead.

[VanillaCreme]

The other day in chat, the discussion of chivalry came about. When I stated my views on it, I believe I came off as "the ***** who can do everything herself." I didn't mean to come off that way.

My point was that a guy doesn't have to push in a chair for me for me to care about him or like him. Or he doesn't have to open a door for me to respect him.

It just seems like to me some people use chivalry and act phony because they want to make a statement that's not true. Some guys use it for a few weeks, for a couple of months, and then when they are comfortable enough, the true colors show, and they act like jerks.

 

[Skorian]

Very true

I grew up in close proximity with someone like this and when people are out to get what they want they can sometimes be very nice. But the second they think they have or own something they turn and stab you in the back. As a result I am always suspicious when people are too nice. Many times even just nice and I start expecting a shoe to drop.

 

[Estreen]

I definitely understand where you're coming from Creme. There are some guys who are genuine, which is wonderful and refreshing, but a lot of guys out there use it to just get what they want. =\

 

[VanillaCreme]

Exactly.... Be sincere... Not nice enough to get in my panties.

 

[Hope_Reigns]

Exactly.... Be sincere... Not nice enough to get in my panties.

LOL, ok that's funny, so true, but I just couldn't help but laugh.

I love when guys act like gentlemen and do stuff like that.. but I agree either they should be honestly like that always, or they shouldn't bother. There's nothing more crappy or jading than fake.

 

[packyourbags]

girls. seriously.

i'm sorry to break it off like, but i'm married to a guy that is the epitome of chivalry.
he would do everything for me.

and he doesn't, and didn't do it to get into my pants.
(even before he had access, lol)

look, what i'm trying to say is - there are very nice guys out there, that can't get a girl because they are "too nice" and it is just so suspicious.

give me a break.

nice behavior is not always a sign that he wants something from you.
sometimes - he's just a nice guy, honestly looking to make someone feel special.

 

[Minus]

I hope that every time i do a simple act like holding a door open that i am not suspected of having some motive or of wanting something. It is bad enough knowing that i may inadvertently be insulting to someone by doing so.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'm not insinuating that every single nice act from a guy is for a devious reason, or for a sexual reason. I'm just saying be honest. I guess that implies to everything for everyone. Just be honest. But I have known some guys to be nice just to get into panties, and it's rather irritating and annoying. =/

 

[Hope_Reigns]

I hope that every time i do a simple act like holding a door open that i am not suspected of having some motive or of wanting something. It is bad enough knowing that i may inadvertently be insulting to someone by doing so.

Blame the jerks that use it to get some.

Try not to worry about initial questioning, once the girl knows that you're just like that and not putting on an act, she'll love it, or most would I think. Some girls don't, but I've never understood that..a guy having manners should never be insulting.

 

[eh?]

It is indeed dead. I killed it. It kept f***ing things up.

I don't mind opening doors, pushing chairs in, etc.
But if she prefers I didn't, I wouldn't mind either.
I am one of the "nice guys" (you know, the ones that finish last), I don't do it to get laid.

In the end, it shouldn't really matter either way.

 

[LonelyDragon]

Unfortunately the ones that do use it as a gimmick have made so many women suspicious of acts like that that when someone like us that grew up being taught that we're supposed to do things like that just because it's the right thing to do does it they also become suspicious of us. <gasps to catch breath after too long of a sentence> That makes it harder to find a woman who is willing to give us the benefit of the doubt and find out that we really are like that.

 

[Naleena]

I hope that every time i do a simple act like holding a door open that i am not suspected of having some motive or of wanting something. It is bad enough knowing that i may inadvertently be insulting to someone by doing so.

Minus, I would love to have you or any other gentleman hold the door open for me. In return you would get a heart felt "thank you" and a smile the size of Texas I love meeting men who are sweet and considerate.

 

[Naleena]

My point was that a guy doesn't have to push in a chair for me for me to care about him or like him. Or he doesn't have to open a door for me to respect him.

I agree but, isn't it so nice when they do those things for us?

It just seems like to me some people use chivalry and act phony because they want to make a statement that's not true. Some guys use it for a few weeks, for a couple of months, and then when they are comfortable enough, the true colors show, and they act like jerks.

Yep, your right, SOME do. But I think it's good to give someone the benefit of the doubt until they PROVE themselves to be such. The thing I always remember is that men like that go away when you don't give them what they want. They are so easy to weed out.

 

[VanillaCreme]

My point was that a guy doesn't have to push in a chair for me for me to care about him or like him. Or he doesn't have to open a door for me to respect him.

I agree but, isn't it so nice when they do those things for us?

It just seems like to me some people use chivalry and act phony because they want to make a statement that's not true. Some guys use it for a few weeks, for a couple of months, and then when they are comfortable enough, the true colors show, and they act like jerks.

Yep, your right, SOME do. But I think it's good to give someone the benefit of the doubt until they PROVE themselves to be such. The thing I always remember is that men like that go away when you don't give them what they want. They are so easy to weed out.

I don't mind either way, but I suppose it's nice. And yes, they are easy to weed out, and all I keep getting are the weeds. :<

 

[Scott]

Speaking solely for myself, it was the way I was brought up. I do it naturally without even thinking. There's no plan going on, holding a door open would just happen.

Trouble is nowdays, some women still accept that as part of the way things should be done, which I agree with, but with some others, you really just can't win - it's an insult to them and their modern independance as a women (or something).



(See sig. )

 

[Sanal]

Oh Thank you Scott. I was searching profiles, from the moment I saw this thread for this signature picture. I just knew someone had it but didn't know who.

 

[Estreen]

Speaking solely for myself, it was the way I was brought up. I do it naturally without even thinking. There's no plan going on, holding a door open would just happen.

Trouble is nowdays, some women still accept that as part of the way things should be done, which I agree with, but with some others, you really just can't win - it's an insult to them and their modern independance as a women (or something).



(See sig. )

I never did get why some women get insulted by it. Regardless of the guy's motive (although I would hope it was just a nice gesture), I would like to have a door held open for me. There's nothing wrong with that, in and of itself, unless the guy is degrading about it (like copping a look or a feel or something). But honestly, if a guy is simply holding a door out for you....what is the harm...or the insult in that?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Lmao...Van.

I like it to open stuff or do stuff for girls...
mmm..like taking thier bra off for them

I like it when girls do stuff for me too...it feels different..lol

 

[Sanal]

Lmao...Van.

I like it to open stuff or do stuff for girls...
mmm..like taking thier bra off for them

I like it when girls do stuff for me too...it feels different..lol

LMAOOO

 

[Satyr]

My point was that a guy doesn't have to push in a chair for me for me to care about him or like him. Or he doesn't have to open a door for me to respect him.

It just seems like to me some people use chivalry and act phony because they want to make a statement that's not true. Some guys use it for a few weeks, for a couple of months, and then when they are comfortable enough, the true colors show, and they act like jerks.

I tend to hold doors open for people, but that's never been gender exclusive. It's just polite.

As far as the chair thing goes, I don't recall ever doing that on a date. That almost seems insulting to me...like I'm casually insinuating that she's too stupid to figure out how to sit down. I'd might as well cut her food, wipe her mouth and burp her as well.