The_long_journey
Active member
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2015
- Messages
- 28
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>>>>>>Anxious<<<<<< I feel like my mind's all over the place
Company is coming over .
My boyfriends friends who isn't from this country is coming over. Everyone speaks a different language . I'm in the room by myself because I'm scared and his sisters whom I dont get a long with yelled and taunt me last time in front of everyone. Everyone including his friends hate and gossip about me especially his mom who we rent from ,and who obviously asked me to move in then suddenly everyone goes on a hate rampage against me and my boyfriend tries really hard to make us get along but they never want to.
5 times we tried moving out but he always gets suckered back in. What do I do? He said when we become more stable and actually finish my schooling and get my Social Security Disability then we can move so he knows if anything happens to him or he gets sick I can live on my own .
I have a learning disability which I struggle with constantly and I have really bad social skills and anxiety. I'm registering this coming wednesday to see a psychiatrist .
All in all I emotionally shut down ....like I shut down completely when I'm around other people not my boyfriend.
I'm scared to leave my room because the intensity of his families hate and dislike for me is through the roof and they dont know about my disability or work injury . My boyfriend told me is to hide all my information about myself from his family because he said that they told him a woman should be able to serve her boyfriend/husband ....cook and drive and complete the womans stereotype roll basically...." he told me nothing good will come out of giving her leverage.
I lived in this type of environment growing up anyway. I stay in the room all the time except I'm getting yelled at from the opposite room and taunted all the time " Get a job - clap stomp stomp stomp" I got injured really bad at my previous job and there's no way I can move right now.
My anxiety and social awkwardness is getting harder.
It's starting to get worse as to I'm scared to go to the mall because there's soo many people and I'm afraid of being judged.
Tomorrow is the boxing match and a drinking session is happening tomorrow and his sisters and all her friends are coming over and I'm feeling the pressure all the time befor they come over.
I dont have a great relationship with my parents ( they separated when i was 4/5)
I asked my parents if i can sleep over there house but there like no because both of there spouses doesn't care for me . Because I'm the black sheep for having a disability . I was told my whole life.
Sometimes his sister comes over everyday ....and I told my boyfriend once I'm getting the disability check I need to leave....It's toxic here and I cant handle it and you barely stick up for me.
What do I do about tomorrow.....how do I properly deal with the pressure and stress. I voiced my concern many times to my boyfriend but there's nothing we can do he always tell me. And sometimes I feel trapped in my room and I really want to spread my wings and get my own place but it'll be a while
Company is coming over .
My boyfriends friends who isn't from this country is coming over. Everyone speaks a different language . I'm in the room by myself because I'm scared and his sisters whom I dont get a long with yelled and taunt me last time in front of everyone. Everyone including his friends hate and gossip about me especially his mom who we rent from ,and who obviously asked me to move in then suddenly everyone goes on a hate rampage against me and my boyfriend tries really hard to make us get along but they never want to.
5 times we tried moving out but he always gets suckered back in. What do I do? He said when we become more stable and actually finish my schooling and get my Social Security Disability then we can move so he knows if anything happens to him or he gets sick I can live on my own .
I have a learning disability which I struggle with constantly and I have really bad social skills and anxiety. I'm registering this coming wednesday to see a psychiatrist .
All in all I emotionally shut down ....like I shut down completely when I'm around other people not my boyfriend.
I'm scared to leave my room because the intensity of his families hate and dislike for me is through the roof and they dont know about my disability or work injury . My boyfriend told me is to hide all my information about myself from his family because he said that they told him a woman should be able to serve her boyfriend/husband ....cook and drive and complete the womans stereotype roll basically...." he told me nothing good will come out of giving her leverage.
I lived in this type of environment growing up anyway. I stay in the room all the time except I'm getting yelled at from the opposite room and taunted all the time " Get a job - clap stomp stomp stomp" I got injured really bad at my previous job and there's no way I can move right now.
My anxiety and social awkwardness is getting harder.
It's starting to get worse as to I'm scared to go to the mall because there's soo many people and I'm afraid of being judged.
Tomorrow is the boxing match and a drinking session is happening tomorrow and his sisters and all her friends are coming over and I'm feeling the pressure all the time befor they come over.
I dont have a great relationship with my parents ( they separated when i was 4/5)
I asked my parents if i can sleep over there house but there like no because both of there spouses doesn't care for me . Because I'm the black sheep for having a disability . I was told my whole life.
Sometimes his sister comes over everyday ....and I told my boyfriend once I'm getting the disability check I need to leave....It's toxic here and I cant handle it and you barely stick up for me.
What do I do about tomorrow.....how do I properly deal with the pressure and stress. I voiced my concern many times to my boyfriend but there's nothing we can do he always tell me. And sometimes I feel trapped in my room and I really want to spread my wings and get my own place but it'll be a while
