Confront, or not to confront? That is the question...

[VanillaCreme]

Well about 20 minutes ago, my good friend messaged the guy I've been supposedly dating for over a year. He told her that he was single, and he's been single for a few months. Then told her that he dated his most recent ex for 6 or 7 months. Her name? ... Heather...

My name is so far from Heather...

I'm so lost for words, and I'm so completely broken right now. I'm not good enough? He doesn't even want to associate my name with him... Over a year, we planned our lives together... Corny, but it's true... I don't even know if I should confront him about it or not.

And to top it all off with a ******* cherry... He started flirting with my friend. I know she'd never do anything to hurt me, she was laughing as she told me. She told me to tell him to fresia off.

I just have no one now. He was the one person I thought I could go to no matter what. The birthday picture he made me in Photoshop was bullshit, the other "you're perfect" bullshit Photoshop he supposedly made just for me is bullshit... My heart actually hurts. I'm having chest pains.

 

[LonelyDragon]

I am so sorry. I agree with your friend. Tell the SOB to go fresia himself. As far as what I would call a real confrontation, I don't know you well enough to know how doing so would help you or not. I know in my case I'd probably do best if I could do it and really blow off some steam. But not everyone is like that.


Too bad I'm not closer. I'd do the confronting for you. I could really stand to blow off some steam right now.

 

[Estreen]

What a ******* *******. You don't deserve that one bit. *hugssss*

I don't have much of anything overly helpful to say, but if you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate; I'm a good listener.

 

[packyourbags]

i agree. yo should drop him.
(hug)

i am sorry though...
noone deserve such a back-stab........

 

[Caesium]

fresia people. All humans are scum.

 

[Naleena]

I'm so lost for words, and I'm so completely broken right now. I'm not good enough?

The question is not are you good enough. The question should be, "Is he good enough?" and the answer is no. Count your blessings dear and let him go. He isn't worth your tears, your time, or your heart. What he has done isn't a reflection on YOU, it is a reflection on him. That is who he is. Don't take it personally. You probabley weren't the first and I bet won't be the last.

 

[Estreen]

I think Naleena's said it best. He is not worth the emotional pain.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Yea, she's right. I just thought that he was the one person I'd always have. It's like, Goddamn, if I can't trust and depend on him, who else do I have? Crap :<

 

[LonelyDragon]

Yea, she's right. I just thought that he was the one person I'd always have. It's like, Goddamn, if I can't trust and depend on him, who else do I have? Crap :<

Well, besides yourself you apparently have one good friend. You owe her a big hug for exposing the SOB.

 

[TheLonelySkeptic]

I only wish I had friends like that. Most "friends" I've had were only friends with whomever they were with at the time. A sort of situational friendship. If one of my exes told one of my friends she was cheating on me, and then asked not to tell, it would have never reached my ears. And indeed, did not reach my ears.

 

[LonelyDragon]

I only wish I had friends like that. Most "friends" I've had were only friends with whomever they were with at the time. A sort of situational friendship. If one of my exes told one of my friends she was cheating on me, and then asked not to tell, it would have never reached my ears. And indeed, did not reach my ears.

I hear ya there. I learned the same thing recently. There was no actual cheating, just intent. But everyone I thought of as a friend kept it from me. (and they all knew.)

I did have a friend back in DFW that would actually do that on a regular basis for her friends. She'd "test" new boyfriends to see if they would be tempted into cheating. LoL It was always with the other girl's ok though so she was careful not to do anything to make her friends mad at her. I always admired her for it.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Yea, she's right. I just thought that he was the one person I'd always have. It's like, Goddamn, if I can't trust and depend on him, who else do I have? Crap :<

Well, besides yourself you apparently have one good friend. You owe her a big hug for exposing the SOB.

Yes, I do. She invited me to her wedding, but unfortunately, I can't go. :<

I only wish I had friends like that. Most "friends" I've had were only friends with whomever they were with at the time. A sort of situational friendship. If one of my exes told one of my friends she was cheating on me, and then asked not to tell, it would have never reached my ears. And indeed, did not reach my ears.

He didn't know she's my friend. I've known her for a few years now, which is why I trust her. She's never done or said anything ill-willed to me. He doesn't know, which is why I'm not sure if I should confront him. I don't want to put any spotlight on her. I only asked her because I knew in the back of my mind what he would do and say. I didn't want her to be put in the middle in any way.

 

[Katia]

I agree completely with Naleena. This is just a reflection on him and his imaturity. I can imagine the sort of feelings that you might be going through right now because something similar happened to me. Seriously, drop him. He's not worth your time. Find some way to let out your feelings, whatever they might be.

About confronting him... that's up to you. I understand not wanting to drag your friend into this. But should you let him get away with what he is doing? Is it worth the argument that is most likely going to ensue? Whatever you choose, I wish you the best of luck. My heart goes out to you.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Worth the argument? It won't be an argument or an angered discussion. It's more like me trying to tell him something, and him telling me in response to shut up and let it go. He doesn't really solve any issues. He just brushes them under the rug.

 

[LonelyDragon]

Another reason to cut him loose.